And welcome to uncomplicating Business. I am delighted to be talking to you today about what and why and things related to grounding. And listen. I know this is something we have talked about before, but it matters this much. And so today I'm bringing you one of my favorite people, like multiple time guest at this point, the magical Stacey andon, because this grounding in particular is something she thinks really hard about and really practices better than most of the humans I know, like she is a ninja at this. And that is why she's here.

 Because you're around her and you're like, why is it different around Stacy? This is why. This is why. So, just so you know, here on the podcast, what we're going to do is we're going to talk about sort of the what in the why and the like, how do you see it? What are you looking for? How do you know? And then in the uncomplicating Business Lab, which is the membership I run. And it's, I want to say it's like a membership, but not a membership. 

It's a community. It's a community with coaching and resources and conversations, like the one we're going to have a Stacy next week on the 19th about, like, the nitty gritty details of like, okay, how do you do this? How do you do this? How do you keep it? What happens when it all feels like it's blowing up? How do you adjust it? We're going to do all of that because those are things she and I have both done real time for a really long time. So Stacy, hi, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love and yes, everybody needs to get to the lab Sara's magical community. I'm down for it always. Yes, it's gonna be super fun, but this is super fun, and we're here now. So absolutely, the place we're starting is, what does it when I say, be grounded? What does that mean to you?
So gosh, that's like opening a big, big box of Pandora.

Here for the easy ones, right? My clients are often like, Gee, that's a small question.
Jerk. Exactly. So to me, when, when I am grounded, I am rooted in my own energy. I am rooted in my own knowings truth in a moment. I'm very you're dialed into present. There's a mindfulness piece to it as well, too, right? You're not You're not in the future, you're not in the you're right here, right now. And that doesn't mean everything has to be perfect. It doesn't mean that you're not worried or afraid or what have you. 

This is not about some kind of like, oh, groundedness is positivity. Groundedness is truth. And realness in this moment, feeling your feet on the ground and coming I think you can't do this without coming into your body. And I think for so many of us, we've done a lot of evolving over the last, I don't know, however many years, and then more recently, especially just even in the last 18 months, it's like, okay, now you have to bring this into the body. If you're not, you could be intellectually aware all you want, of grounding and, you know mindfulness and all that, but like, are you doing it in real time? Are you feeling your feet in a moment where your body touches the edges of the outside world and coming into that space first and foremost, before you're moving outward, before anything goes out, you start in, and that's what I think of short answer for groundedness, well, and it's sort of like, I think part of what you just said there is there's a difference between intellectual grounding and physical grounding, and you need both, right, like you and until It's almost like, actually, I think there's three. 

There's intellectual grounding, like, I get how this works, right? I'm here with myself. I understand what's going on. There's emotional grounding, which is separate than that logical brain. And then there's like, do you feel your feet on the floor?

Yeah, yeah. And it clicks and it like, it clicks and and it's interesting, because I think for a long time I was walking around intellectually grounded, but I didn't quite have the emotional and the physical. It's a practice. I mean, all of this is a practice nobody's getting. Nobody's trying to be the best grounder on the planet. Why are we doing this? And that probably going to ask me that in a few minutes, but this idea of allowing yourself to be where you are in the moment. So if you've been intellectually practicing, it okay. I want to come back in. I want to be more mindful. Hey, taking a pause, to me, is a huge part of being grounded, right? Taking a. Breath, and that breath then brings you back into the body, hopefully it It invites you to check in on whatever's going on. 

Emotionally and intellectually, you're doing it because you're like, Oh, I'm going to take this breath so you can find yourself also like in this overlap as well too, as you start to really practice it well. And I think probably intellectual grounding, like wrapping your brain around it is first Yes, and that's like the outer circle, and the next layer in is like being willing, although I'd be curious to your thought is the next layer in being willing to check in with your body or your feelings? Because I think actually probably the one people avoid more is checking in with their feelings. Like, that's the scarier one than their body, right? Like, I'm gonna feel my feet on the floor, but I'm gonna ignore that. I feel like crap.

Yeah, you know what? I don't know now, I'm just this is off the cuff, right? Now, I wonder if you can feel, I wonder, like, those things are so intertwined. I wonder, because I've had clients over the years, right? They're like, I say, feel your feet on. I can't feel anything. And so they're but they're also so out of the connection to the emotional, like, I think it can show up as it's hard to actually come back in. So I don't know, can you be emotionally or physically first, or those two are very, very intertwined. And I agree with you intellectual all. I think it's kind of like the the the introduction, right, like you're unless you have the awareness first that that's going to introduce you and welcome you or invite you in to the body, into the emotion. You're right. Emotions are the things that most people are trying to avoid. It's like the discomfort. This is why a lot of people are like, I would love to be intellectually grounded, but to be grounded in the emotional body, there could be discomfort that you are then going to be checking in on that most people, no, I don't want to. I don't want to.

I might die. And that is, that's where you're like, yep, that's how we run a business. So exactly for you. And we'll get to the why. I think the why gets clearer and clearer for people, for you, when you are grounded, and I'd like to say both sides of the coin, right? When you are grounded, how does it look and feel and sound when you are not grounded? How does it look and feel and sound right? Like, what do you know about yourself?

Yeah, okay. Well, I'm going to start with when I'm not grounded. When I'm not grounded, it looks like I can't settle. So I pop from thing to thing to thing, and I feel very distracted, and I feel very like Time is moving so fast that I can't swallow all the things on the conveyor belt, and I just can't get a whole like this feeling of I can't get a hold of anything. It just feels like everything's moving in ways that, just like, I can't keep up or catch up or be in that actual moment. And it sounds like sometimes, for me, like if you were to talk to me, like, you know, yes, and you're like, alright, girl, take a breath.

It's like, I always describe that as it's like swimming furiously behind the boat, hoping you can get on it, rather than being the captain exactly, and, and, and in your butt. Like, also too. Because I know what it feels like in my body. In my body, it feels again, like this kind of nervousy energy, not quite like, Hey, I'm going on stage to give a talk butterflies. But there's, like, this just this agitative, kind of energetic state. It could be like a flurry. Could be in my chest. Sometimes, again, I just don't feel like, sometimes I'll feel my upper body, but I don't feel my lower body right. 

And there's so there's this disconnect going on physically as well, too, not saying that when I'm not grounded. I'm like, oh, right away. But you know, then you pay attention and you're like, oh, okay, that's what, and then to be in a more grounded state. To me, you it's like, you know, especially right now we're in the Olympic energy, it's like to be in a flow state, so you're moving like you said as a cat. You're moving with life. You're moving with the things you know, if an interruption comes or something comes at you, so to speak, it's not going to dismiss you. You're not being dismantled or out completely out of sorts. You're like, oh, okay, you. It comes through almost like this energetic filter that allows you to look at it and see it and receive it and not just be in like, you know, responsive versus reactive and and I feel again, I feel very in touch with my own physicality. 

When I'm grounded, I feel like there's no emotional thing that can't be seen or witnessed, even if you're like, Oh, I'm really angry right now. However, it's not the most appropriate time, because I'm at the grocery store. Whenever I'm talking to a client, you can also acknowledge and be in that state without having to say, Oh, now I have to just be angry and do something with it, right? And it because I think that that sometimes can disrupt, take us in a different place. It's like you can absolutely witness the emotion and then choose. It's a choosing, it's a deciding. It's it's not a like this is happening to me, right, which is very much ungrounded. 

Oh, to me, it's happening with me, and so I got to move about and be in relationship with this in a way that works for me Well, in that, in that that's like the  distinction you made between responsive and reactive is that, right? It's like, yeah, when I am grounded, things happen. Like things are going to happen no matter what that is. Just like I spent Monday night in the emergency room with a sprained hand for a kid like we did, I plan on being at X rays at 11pm on Monday night. I did not, but I can respond to that versus react to it like I didn't need to be about the whole thing. I could just, like, roll through and do the thing and not be because it's not required. But, you know, if you're angry in the grocery store, you can decide to respond to your anger and say, like, Hey, we're going to take this in the car. Yeah, versus like I am, you're right. I am angry, or you're snapping at right? Yes, guilty. I one time I was upset because somebody called me out on having 12 items instead of 10 items. And I'm like, crying, angry cry. And it went nothing to do with that. And it was just like, oh yeah, I need to go to my car, right?

You could say I could journal with it, like, I can Yeah, or I'm just gonna take this for an appropriate spot, like, Absolutely so you and I both work with other people, and this is not to, like, generalize or do other things, but there are some things I think I see often in clients and friends and colleagues that lead me to go, like, a little ungrounded today, yeah. Like, let me, let me. And I think some of the things that you mentioned, the like, squirliness, the feeling behind, like you're running at full speed and it's being done to you, but you can't catch it. I think the another one is that constant need for response from other people, like that validation reflex, that outside validation reflex is an ungrounded thing. It's like, well, I can't do anything unless somebody responds. Yeah. Actually you can. But are there other things you see that are different from your typical reactions that that lead you to look at people and be like, Hmm, I think grounding would help here.

Yeah, I definitely think it's interesting when somebody is is all is all up in right, the intellectual and talking and going, going, going, and then it's like, okay, let's just take a breath here. And then immediately, might, what might come instead of just like, Okay, I'm going to just relax into that is, but Right? If you want to, like a literal way, it's like, but I can't, but I can't, but that, but, oh, there's so much in a butt. Did it? Did I mean that? I don't know.

Oh, my kids aren't here for to giggle. So we're here you go. Oh, there's so much there that inability. It's like you're on the like, you ever go to the airport and the like people are like, running down the electric sidewalk, and I'm like, Whoa. Like, let's just have some fun here, and just let it do the heavy lifting for us. And I think also, too, when people are in heavy. Heavy like, to your point, problem solving. I've gotta figure this out. I've gotta come to some I've gotta be an answer, yes, right now, immediately. I mean, usually it's like, okay, there's the discomfort of just sitting in this ambiguity, which most of us don't want to do. So how do I do that, generally speaking, and the there is literal fidgeting. And I also think people, just like, they start to kind of contract a little bit in, like, this way their shoulders go. It's like, it you know, if you've ever been in a yoga class when they're like, Okay, your ear and your shoulder shouldn't be touching, yeah, don't wear your shoulders with earrings, is what I for.

 Yoga Teachers used to say exactly like and so you can even tell in body language, right? As you're paying attention to little micro things around how people or they're like this, right? There's this protective energy that kind of pulls in. And it's like, is somebody it to me, it's like, also like, just an aura, energetic signature that we are all. You do not have to be a coach. 

You do not have to be an intuitive to read that you know things about people that have nothing to do with language, have nothing to do with with what they're saying. It has to do with how you are in response.

 So sometimes you can tell when people are ungraded, because all of a sudden you feel a little like, well, and it starts to like, take you away, right? So I think that piece about like problem solving is good, but for me, when problem solving turns into fixing everything right now, that's when I'm like, Ooh, okay, hold on. And I even know that for me, when I'm in like, fixer mode and I'm like, going to fix this, I'm gonna fix this, I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna fix all the things, and I'm like, Well, hold, please, hold, please. And then I don't want to breathe. And then I'm like, Oh, this is we left the boat. 

We're back in the back again. We're like, swimming and trying to figure out where the dolphins are. And I think that makes sense, and I think you're right, that physical manifestation of it, I always, I all for 99% of my clients, we meet on Zoom or I do things live on zoom in the membership in the lab, because I want to know when people get like scoochy, when they start to like move around, not because I'm trying to make them uncomfortable. Because I want to know when they get uncomfortable so that I can sort of change tack or check in, or do those things, just like you would with kids in a classroom, like you see them start to, like, move and you're like, something's not right.

Yeah, you want to read the room, absolutely. Because if the if the energy starts to move in, and that's information for you, right, as a coach, and what you're doing in terms of holding the space for people, I also think it's interesting, too, that people use things outside of themselves to try to ground so, for example, food, food, scrolling, alcohol, shopping, we're trying to somehow we don't know what to do with this energy, right? Because we haven't grounded it and so it, there are these other and again, there's nothing wrong with any of those things. It's the energy in which you're using them for. Yeah, and usually what happens, especially when we have a we have a tell, we go to something that we're trying to seek some comfort in that's not actually grounding us, but that is actually probably just, again, creating more of a separation. But we think somehow it will help, like this food, this very like, again, tactile thing is going to help us ground but if we're just taking it in, rather than actually bringing that inner awareness that like, to your point, the intellectual piece really becomes important there then. So I, you know, I see that a lot as well too. It's like, and again, the world is so volatile and so chaotic right now. 

A lot of, okay, how do we try to take the edge off and stay out of our body, stay out of the truth of what we're feeling. So that's another little tell too well.
And I think for me, what's funny is I know my, my, my, my things. We all have things that you're like, who there's my answer. That's a reaction, not a response,
absolutely, which absolutely okay.

That's like, Oh, okay. So the new question, friends, for all of us is, are we reacting or responding because they're different? So here's really at the core of this, core of this, and what we've talked around in circles right here, is, why does this matter? So like, you know what you look like and feel like and sound. Like when you're grounded, you know when you why what it looks like and feels like it sounds like when you're not. Why do you care?

Well, like, to put it very directly, but like, Why does anybody care? Like, because if
Is it working for you to be in reactive mode, you're not accessing your most like, powerful, fullest expression of yourself. If you're in fix it mode, it's like, and there's science here, right your your brain, it's like, this is the only way this can work, right and and you can't access this multitude of many, many solutions that could actually be possible, or steps forward, or whatever it is that you know that's in front of you right now when you're in that constricted state. First of all, it takes a toll on you if you are not processing and witnessing your own emotional body and state and being in relationship with that, if you are not grounding into your physical body, trust me, your body, at least my body. It's like, Oh, we'll get your attention another another way, so you will be address it.
Yep, what you wanted exactly.

And so it's kind of like you're discharging this energy in a way again, when you're responding to it, that it's not backing up, which, all of a sudden, you have this huge pile of I have been ungrounded for three weeks, and now everything. It's like, if you're like those old pictures, cartoons, like with the piles on the desk, right all of a sudden now it's bombarding you and your nervous system. Now get it's like, whoa. I don't know what to do. And then we probably reach to be more reactive, and we just create this loop that like this is why, when people are like, I'm wired, but I'm tired, I can't go I'm having a hard time sleeping. 

I am snapping at like, it shows up in all of these other places when we're ungrounded. And then it also then, like I said, it becomes this harder loop to it's like, oh, wait, why did I stop at this? This is a bigger question of like, Oh, I really have been ungrounded since last Tuesday. Yeah, and this is all kind of like, I don't know it's like all of it, like, this is the center, and then you have all of this other things around the peripheral that then it creates. And when you're grounded, again, this is not some state of perfection, no, when you're grounded, though, again, what life I love the way you said it like when life comes with whatever it's going to come with an emergency visit or something else unexpected, you're able to move through it in a way that doesn't completely deplete you. Take You Out, what have you. 

And to me, if I'm going to choose I want to be on this planet, I'd much rather move through this planet in a way that feels good to me. And I think when we're operating from that, then we're we're more powerful in whatever we're doing out in the world. So if you're busy, you have a, you know, entrepreneur, that kind of thing, the more that comes through. It's so magnetic and attractive to people, because we really want to train other people who are ground well. And I feel like, on some level, we should play like, like, like, maybe in the lab we'll play like, I don't this is mean. I don't mean it this way, but it's like, go out into your world and be like, grounded, ungrounded, grounded, ungrounded, and see who, whose energy you're like, oh, because that's sort of some of the secret sauce of the people you're like, Oh, I always feel better when I talk to her. Y

eah, yeah, I bet you do. That's like, grounded versus ungrounded. And what I think is interesting in what you're talking about and what's interesting, and what we all think about what you and I think about when we talk about grounded versus ungrounded. Is ungrounded is, like most people's steady state of like chaos. And what I think is really important to note here is that I've I am someone that if five or six years ago, my steady state of chaos, I didn't even understand there were other choices. And if you said, Well, be more grounded, I would have been like, Okay, did I fall down? Like, am I just laying on the floor today? What am I doing? And not that I didn't intellectually understand it. I just didn't understand it in the other ways. And today, what I understand is, and you understand is that, like that, chasing this of it all is optional from an inside out perspective, and it feels like that's not true. Yeah, it does, because you've never known another way, and it's still true. 

Plus, the thing that kills me about it is the non chasing thing is actually a way smaller energy outlay. It like takes a lot less energy to not be running at full speed all the time, which people are like, blind, I've not caught up, so I don't have that choice. Well, actually do. It's wild. When you take that choice and you're like, I don't think this is going to work. And then people are like, What the heck
it reminds me of it's like, this energy of drama, right? And it's just like, it's a frequency, and drama doesn't actually solve things like and I so I got it trained as a youngin to chaos and drama, and when I went to recalibrate myself, it felt so uncomfortable. I love what you're saying. To be in this more grounded. I'm like, nothing's going on. Nothing's going on. What to do with that? Because, again, fire after fire drama, fire after what can't it's like, oh, this gives me something to do, this illusion of this, right? 

That gives me something to do to be useful, or feeling like I'm moving, but it's like to me, and there's like, an old quote about worry, like, it's like a rocking chair, but drama is the same way. It creates all of this. Like, whoo, but it doesn't actually move you anywhere, doesn't take you in a way that's like, oh, I mean, it actually probably is so prohibitive or exhaustive or what have you, but we're so much, I mean, think about just this, like instant news reel constantly, like we are being fed. We need to React, React, React, React, and a lot of that to we haven't said this yet, is fear based, yeah, and when you're running ungrounded, you are very much, can be in a fear underneath state versus what I would say would be love. And I don't mean love, like, oh, romantic love. I just mean like, love will go, Okay, let's take a moment for a second.

Yeah, versus that like, it's like a centeredness with love, but it is that like, that, that nothingness of like, okay, now I don't people. What's so interesting to me is people like, I just need a minute, and they get a minute, they don't take the minute because they don't know what to do with the minute. Like the number of clients over the years where I've given out homework that's like, Okay, go do nothing for five minutes a day. Yeah, has nothing to do with them as a business owner, but everything to do with them as a business owner at the same time. Because just learning to be settled that way, let you do it's the picture in my head while you were talking is like you're taking teeny, tiny centipede steps, like 15 million centipede step for every person step, the centipede steps are the ungrounded ones, and you're not getting very far very fast, because their legs are tiny. And, you know, they took 15,000 steps, and that's exhausting for your one step. It just took way less time to take one step. And it's fascinating how hard we fight that it is because we're just not trained that way, and it's okay. But like, there are people out here who are like, I don't want to.

And I think once you start, re like you said a couple years ago, where you intellectually got it, but then once you come into this and you feel it, you really start to feel it, you're like, oh, it's like the veil of like, Oh, right. It just you have a self realization, which, again, grounded looks different for different like, for all of us. So this is not has to look a certain way, but once you start to come into your own frequency, and you are not just being tethered to everybody else's and getting kind of, you know, whipped around in that, like, I'm now envisioning that, that that thing that I never went on because it looked like everybody just threw up on that, just, yeah, the spinning, whipping you around, yeah. It's like, you go, Oh, I didn't even know I was on it feet. Yeah, I could feel this good and that I was in some other state, until you really break that, you think, what are they talking about? I am, like, people will say I am grounded and and, sure, okay, however, let's i. Explore that a little bit further well, and it's like, if you were 10% more grounded, what would it look like? Because you can be grounded, but like, what if it was 10% more, 1% more? Because for me, one of the 10% more things was like, okay, I can be grounded in me, but then I get around other people, and I'm immediately sucked into their energy. 

And when I figured out how to practice, keeping staying in myself, which is something I'm working on with kid one right now, it is like an entirely different thing. And that's when people would be like, you're always just so settled in no matter what. And it was like, oh, reflection back. It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing, right? To really be able to to see and I think also, too, the this idea of like, Oh well, I go to yoga from nine to 10 in the morning on Tuesdays, and that's where I'm ground. It's like, but if, then, if we compartmentalize only allowing ourselves to really fully relax into ourselves in certain times too. That's another thing that I'm sure you've seen as well. It's like, oh, I allow myself to be but then don't even realize that the rest of whatever's going on is actually very ungrounded.
So yoga you like outside of yoga, right? It'd be nice if she went with you places, right?

Like I say that all the time. Well, in a room full of teachers, I did the same thing. I asked them for five minutes every day to do nothing, and I thought that they were really gonna file right? Wait, you don't understand. And I said, No, I do understand. I was a teacher, I understand you get it, but it is so we are going to I'm hoping that we really made the case for, like, looking at yourself as a as you listen, and saying, like, okay, when am I grounded? When am I not grounded? What is what does it look like and feel like for me, when am I responding versus reacting? And to really think that through, yeah. And then, if you're like, okay, but now, like, now what 

Come, come join us in the lab next week, or when this is released this week? Because I think that in PS, if you are like, after the conversation and you join the lab, it's going to be, it's all saved. It's all saved. Get all the access to all the things. So it really is like, okay, let's dive into the like. But what do you actually do? Because I have my things, you have your things. You've taught other people things we've you know, five minutes of nothingness is a hard one. There's lots of other ones. And it's like, what do you what does this actually look like? Because it's great intellectually to know groundedness, but it's way more effective for your humaneness and your business. 

Because I'll tell you, I make a crap ton more money when I'm grounded, and I am a far better service person when I'm grounded, a far better parent when I'm grounded, holy crap, being that lets me do everything else more easily and not feel like I'm cramming it all into my day, which is fascinating to me, absolutely fascinating that all it took was a me thing to change time. That's a separate question.

That's another juicy topic.

Yes, like, holy cow, groundedness gives you control of time, like a magic human now, what is one thing you want people to think about related to groundedness for themselves before they go.
So I like this, this idea again, because I think, you know, in the world where it's like, oh, now I need to do this, and it's something else, just meeting yourself in a moment. Like, I love these questions, just like, just like, it's like a science experiment. Just gather information in a way that's not like, Oh, I'm going to judge myself with the data that I collect a stick.

No, just be curious. And I think for me, if nothing else, if you start, I really believe this, if you start your day and end your day with a little bit of these questions, like, oh, you know, my intention today is to, like, notice where I'm responding versus reacting, and then you look and You just check in and see you will get information that will be helpful to you, and you play around with it, practice experiment. Be curious to see exactly what it is. But I also think one other real big thing is to notice what's going on in your outer world. Because I don't think we realize until we realize i. How much other people's ungrounded energy is bleeding and like, you know, some people would say energy vampire. You know us on a regular basis, that it's not always just hoop. 

No, it is. A lot of what's going on around us
well, and we can there are ways to manage for that without being like, I gotta get a new family like, moving to a beach by yourself in Bali is not required, but sometimes, sometimes appropriate. I so I think we have a lot of other stuff to get into. We could literally do this for days. But I'm trying to keep it succinct. My friend, tell them all the ways to find you. Oh. PS, before you do that, Stacy is an actual human listener friend. She's an actual human being who has actual human conversations. If you go find her on LinkedIn or Facebook and you say, hey, Stacy, I heard you on Sara's podcast, I'd love to actually know you. She would love to actually know you too. So like, we're gonna start with that.

Ah, I love that. So I have a free Facebook community where I do all sorts of delicious things. Yeah, delicious things. It's called everyday enchantment. I've also really been funneling my energy and focus into my sub stack, which is dear Soul love. It's not being messy and truthful and all these like this conversation and things of that nature, whatever wants to come through my my channel, and I have a traditional newsletter, if you like that avenue as well. And those are usually the ways, because then you can find out about any of the other things that are going on through those, those couple channels.

Yeah. And if you go to one of those channels and you're like, Oh, I'm on our newsletter. You know what works with a newsletter? Hitting reply
exactly, just saying, Yeah, send me. I read all my messages, respond to all of that. So I am a real human. And please reach out to me if you want. I love connection. I know we were just saying how connection is such a beautiful thing. And yeah, again, that's, I mean, that's the essence of being grounded, being connected to yourself and what's going on. Yeah.

And then to other people, it's like, oh, it's magic. It's magic. Is Magic. My friend, you are the most delightful, and I appreciate you, and I look forward to even more talks in the uncomplicating business lab with you and friends, you can subscribe to this podcast. Push the little button. You can rate and review it, and that's how other people find it. You can watch on YouTube, on the uncomplicating business YouTube channel, you can, let's see, come join us in the lab. It is you can find the lab at Torpey coaching.com, forward slash the lab. We, you know, very creative namer over here, but we would love to see you in there. In this community, there's coaching, there's community, there's resources and tools, there's ongoing support. It is all that in a bag of chips, as they say in the 80s.

 So I will see you all in two weeks on the podcast, but I'll see you next week in the lab with Stacey, more Stacy and more like nitty gritty stuff, which is going to be so fine to get into all that I know. All right, we'll see you soon. Friends. Bye.