Hello, my friends, and welcome to uncomplicating Business. You know that's what we do here. I am Sara. I am the creator, selling for weirdos. I'm a business coach. I'm a lot of parents. I do all the things we all do, all the things you know that that's why we're trying to uncomplicate stuff in this year. 

In 2025 we have been talking all year about trust, and yes, we're still talking about it, because it is that worth it. And today I have the absolutely wonderful like the person on the internet that I see, and I am immediately calmer because I see her face in my world. And I like, I think I have known Shea for, gosh, five or so years now on the internet, right? It's been a long time. It's just fascinating to me. It's probably even longer than that. It's like pre covid, which was its own world. 

So today with us is shake and hand, who I know through the magic of the internet, but is a coach in a very holistic, very centered, very calm, very do your life and your work in a way that works for you, kind of way which I love, and there's a little bit of magic and a lot of practical so she can tell us more about that. I'm going to make her do that in a second, but that's the start. So my friend, Shay, thank you. Thank you for coming to play with me.

That was just one of the most joyful, wonderful introductions I've ever heard. I love you.

I love you back. I'm so happy you're here. Okay, now use some of your own words to tell people about your work, because I have mine, but like you, do it all the time, so talk to them.

Yeah, I like you. Many roles. My favorites right now are wife, mom, Auntie. Oh my gosh, who knew that Auntie could be so fun? I didn't. I'm loving it, and yes, I'm also a career in life, momentum coach. I really emphasize that word momentum, because a lot of what I do, particularly with women, is help them get in unstuck and move forward. And that can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, but like you, I also just love to play and not take this whole coaching business, all these other roles so seriously all the time. And I don't know about you Sara, but I'm actually finding that even more challenging than usual lately, with everything going on and things that we trust looking like they're falling apart. So I just love being invited here to talk about that subject of trust.

Yeah, I'm super excited, and I think it's so funny, this will be the third time this week I say it. But like you can what you were talking about is taking the work seriously, but not the structures in ourselves seriously, right? And that is a client and I were talking yesterday about the idea of being engaged but detached, and that mastered that yet no, none of us have, but it was this, like, it's this thing you catch sometimes where you're, like, connected but detached, which is like the best. It's just a lovely place to, like, grow from and explore. It's a duality. It really is. It's a dance, and it's a duality, and it can also have its very jagged moments and raw things to look at, and whether we're working for ourselves or for someone else, or serving in some way through the community, or being a mom, so many different roles we all have, it is a lot right now To try to get unstuck and
move forward.

Heck, yeah. And as you said, it could be stuck in many, many different ways. Okay, so we are going to jump into trust, because that is the place we are like. I think the reason I have talked about this all year is I think that this is the most foundational piece of success, like it, is the thing, when I talk to people, sort of one of the first questions I'm asking myself is, what do they trust, and what does that look like, and what don't they trust? Right? Because you can see that in people and in businesses and in success. So for you, what does it mean to trust yourself in your business? What? How do you define trust? How is that? What does it look like?
It's continuing to evolve. It's such a deep i. A conscious question. Just even inviting that question to my old Sara gets me just want to go get a cup of tea in my journal,
in the fancy pens, like there's so many directions to go in to play with it. One definition I found I love lately is more looking at the self trust piece, because I'm pivoting right now or expanding both what I do for my business and in some other areas of my own healing journey. So for me, self trust is a profound even have it written down, fundamental faith in my overall capacity to make sound decisions fail so I can learn and still thrive. It's a lot, whoa.

Oh, okay, so much. So I want you to read it again for people, because they are either rewinding or so I want you to tell them again, because there's, like, she's way too deep. No, no. They're like, wait what? They're either way, it's okay walking, because they're walking while they listen, and they just stopped, like, in the street, hopefully not in traffic. So, like, I do that with your podcast
too, because you have one of those voices that's so again, it does it just I'm instantly thinking about how I can make things easier when I hear something that you're doing.

So I end up stopping places and I'm like, oh, geez, what are we doing? So tell them again. Read that again
for me and again, I think everyone needs to define it for themselves based on where they're at. Is this will change, if you ask me this in a couple weeks, a couple months, probably be the same. A couple years, probably different. My definition of self trust is a profound fundamental faith in my overall capacity to make sound decisions fail so I can learn and still thrive.

Yes, yes, well, and so I think there are some really, there are, what jumps out to me, are the components of that. There is this thought about capacity that is really important about, you know, one of the things I think all the time is that even though sometimes it feels like the universe never gives me more than I can handle. So there is this thought about capacity. Number one, there is an integration of the idea of sort of the normality of failure, right, which is just, it just is like, and it's not like somebody stamped an F on your test. It's just like, we fall, we get back up. Nothing works the first time, nobody hits 1000 it's just not. And then the third component is this, thought about thriving is not in spite of that. It is that there's some ease. Yeah, there, there's like, this is how it's supposed to work. And that's really interesting. It's like having the bucket is big enough to let it all be easy, even when it's not perfect, and that's really cool.

And like I said, I'm dancing with it. I also have a traumatic background. A lot of things I am revisiting or facing and seeing kind of how my own programming is held me back in some areas, with my business, but also just with relationships in life, with health, whatever, whatever the thing is that's in the face confronting me. So when you add that in with that definition, it is a constant science and art.
I do not have it mustard, no, but I think that that is trust, right? It's like it's a sliding scale, and we're always somewhere between zero and 100 but we're never at zero or 100 and no matter where we are, we're never there very long. It's like the sliding scale some toddler has their finger on, and they're just back and forth,
like being rewarded by going zero to 100 fast. 

So I kind of played into that for many decades, and thought I was trusting, but when I really have been learning lessons over the past several years of what trust really is, I was like just seeping in insecurity, and it might have looked on the outside like a lot of trust, and that's, again, why I think this subject is so so valuable to look at when you're creating your own way of doing things with a business, because you can really start to go in directions that you are told. 

Old or maybe even paid to hear are the right ways, quote, unquote, yeah, and wonder why you still might be hitting walls, or that self doubt Gremlin one funny thing, because I, you know, I can take a subject, I think this so seriously, and the timing and getting to talk to you about it is humorous to me because I threw myself in to a hip hop class. Oh, laughing only because it is so outside my comfort zone. I love the music. Always have but to learn choreography and dance and to show up in a classroom where I know it's probably going to be recorded, because this place is all about social media or whatever. Media or whatever. Oh no, all my Gremlins are coming up. Sara, all of it every Saturday morning that you're that you're incapable of getting in the door is really impressive, because I would be in the parking lot. Like, nope. Oh God, your work and your simplification.

Like, you know what I did this for? I thought I was doing it to stretch outside my comfort zone. And, yeah, of course, whenever we're trying something new, that is part of the courage of doing it. But yeah, this is like, I am dancing with
trust, yes, well, and it is a reflection, and it ain't pretty, right now no girl, sometimes the dance moves are funny.

It's like I've fallen and I haven't gotten broken yet. So those have been good goals. But I also am just hearing the voice come up in my head, even in class, that's just like the perfectionist, the wanting to get it right quicker, like you were saying, trying to go zero to 100 like, why don't I have this down already? We did it 10 times. I mean, it really has kind of put under the microscope in a way where there's less stakes involved. There's pride involved. There's pride involved. There's like people well, and it is Well, it's interesting, because your definition is about self trust and that pride is about other people's thoughts of us can be to a degree, right? It's like how I look, how I'm doing in this thing in relative terms, yeah, right. There is that, like, comparative piece there of like, perfection is doing it 100% right, but also, like the other people, and there's an interesting component to that, but it's interesting like this is that this class is a capacity stretcher, like you were like, I'm gonna go fail a lot. I was actually listening to a podcast this morning, or a med, I think it was in the meditation I did this morning. And he said something about how sometimes the the place we learn the most is where we go, get to go, fail more often, like we invite being new at something and failing a lot, which is exactly what you're talking about.

I want you to repeat that. I don't know you. I didn't write it down, so I probably I can just being invited to fail a lot. That's where that, that stuff we're all looking for happens and it's just ah, well, you don't like it. We are invited to it. And sometimes we're like, No, thank you, right?

Literally, the roller coaster, yeah, it really is. I'm getting quicker at closing the gap between that stimulus and that response between, okay, you know, did that thought serve me? Or maybe it was, like you said, comparison, am I comparing myself to some of the amazing people in this class that have this down and probably did dance before, even though, on the thing, it said, you don't need experience, right? Am I letting that, like, be the loud driver of my bus, or remembering, kind of my root of why I wanted to be there and what I wanted to accomplish and what I could bring and still, like, make this have some ease to it, and Not such a shame festival well, and it's what's interesting is, as I when I go do things I'm new at, and one of the things I talk to my kids about all the time is that in that classroom where you're learning these dances, there is someone thinking the exact same thoughts you are, who is 10 miles ahead, and there is someone who is looking at you incredibly impressed by your courage. 

Those things are almost guarantees, right, like in any room, that those two things exist, especially in a skill building kind of class and. It's like, oh, well, if I remember, other people are having the same thoughts I have, even though they're better or worse or whatever. And there's somebody in this room that thinks, like, look at her go, and they're using me as a model for something else they might be doing. That's like, oh, there's a purpose here. Right now we get to purpose, and I can trust purpose.

Yes, yes, no, interest relating that back to business is full circle, exactly what's going on every day that we are creating the work.

Yes, that's right, because there's somebody out there right now who is like ahead of you and still doubting everything all the time. People are like, when does this go away? And I'll be like, you're so cute. That's so fun. We'll meet it at a different thing. It'll be wearing a different sweater, but it's still coming back. Oh, that's such a good metaphor, right?

Like it's coming back. I changes outfits. Sometimes it gets a haircut, but like, man, it's coming back. We're not. There's no conquering them. But I want to not like them, like positivity and optimism are like some of my gags, like that assessment. So I want to not like the or embrace the new levels, new devils. Yes, maybe new levels, new sweaters, I can I could do that. I love that. Oh, but it's like, new levels. Hold on to that. Sara, that was really, really, we've met them before. They're like, though, like, Oh, right. Have you ever been at like, a party or something, and you meet somebody new, and you think, like, I don't know you, but I know you right, where? You're like, Oh, I know where this is going, right? I And that's maybe not the kindest I've ever been my whole life. 

But every now and then you're like, oh, okay, it resonates something, something Yeah, you have done before and you didn't like that sweater, correct? You're like, Matt, I'll wear this outfit. This is not my outfit. So talk to me a little bit about shopping with you. Now, I'm a terrible shopper, absolutely terrible because I'm like, hate it, hate it, hate it. That one's okay. Hate it, hate it. Oh, why would someone wear that? Like, I know what you want. You have clarity. That doesn't make you a bad shopper.

No, I don't match. Well either. I'm not good. I will sidebar that one later. Like also my husband sometimes looks at me and he's like, nope. For real. That was like me as a teacher, millions of years ago, I would get dressed for school in the morning, and sometimes I'd come out and he'd look at me and go, nope, and because it would be like, so mismatched and just all about balancing the strengths.
Yeah, that's exactly. But even now, sometimes he's like, ah, Okey, dokey. We'll go try again.

I don't know what, but you have the strength of getting the clarity on the inside and the you know what, so I'll take that Yeah for real well, and it matters less now, so it's so interesting. But tell me, tell me about learning to trust yourself, and so both self trust and business trust, because I think what you're talking about is learning, the journey of learning to trust yourself, your human self, but also learning to trust the container in which you help people, which I think is its own conversation, right to a degree.

Yeah, I love that. I recently have had so much more I've been available and open to so much more support and help to like I trust what I do, and I trust my connection with something of a higher source that helps me do it. So my container I trust, but it has been amazing to get and graded in some new or skills to get more super vision, where you get feedback on your coaching sessions by someone else who, like you said, is way up the road, but also not looking back and judging, but looking back and completely not judging. 

So they're just saying,hey, what about this? Right? Yeah, what about the back  evaluation that help? Is it the best help? And I was close to stuff like that for too long. So I think for me, doing just again my own inner work so I can allow this outer upgrade and see how it's unfolding and trust that more of it is coming. Has been new work for me.

Well, so it's interesting. As you were describing that, one of the things you said, you said talking along, and you said, Well, I trust the container. And you just kept talking. Because you really do, did you always, when I again, it's just such a it goes deep for me, a question like that, like, deep into many layers, like, I go right to my core essence to answer a question like that, because then the answer is, I already know it's yes, yes, you know. And that can sound like a lot of ego, but it's really I take a lot of it. It is just knowing from a very young age that I have certain ways that help others, but I have continued to and I still have days where other stuff gets in the way, where I don't see that anymore, or I don't give up on that, or it's too hard, or supposed to really take good care of myself and the business and All you know, I put forth all the other people, yeah, for my values, there's four or five other things before the business. And it's, it's still so important to me, but it's also learning to trust that.

 Like you said, I love that word capacity. It really, I think is a new way to do inner work, where we're not so much trying to put Band Aid fixes on things, but we're really looking at the root cause why there's trust issues, whether it's with relationships, people, business or self and all that would come up in a container With coaching, or all that comes up when I sit down and try and journal. So it's, it's, again, that duality of the inner and the outer showing up all the time
well, and I think it's interesting that you can be the thing. I think it's useful for people to to really note here is you can be fully trusting in the container and still have doubts around it, right? You can know this is the work you're meant to do, that you're really good at it, and this is how it works. And also have days where you're like, I don't know if I want to do this. 

Doesn't mean you don't know that the container is right, or that the work is right, or that the gift is right, right, like you can trust all of those things and still be on the scale in other areas, you gave us a tool. I mean, I already see myself using that this zero kind of measuring the zero to 10 or zero to 100 Where is my trust today? Yeah. And what do I need? Do I want? Is this a day where I want to increase it, you know? Because I do think sometimes just pausing and noting if it is low and sitting with that is a thing needed, well, and there's some things, like, you know, we also want to pay our bills and generate income and make sure we are having impact. And so there's some days where it might be low, but we need to turn it up. And so just that noting that you offered here in this conversation, like, I want to practice that more now, yeah, oh, that's fun. 

That'll be fun. And now you'll have to come back to me and we'll have to talk about it again. I Well, in so it's interesting, like that idea of knowing where you are on the scale, and then, you know, sometimes I find that I'm it's like, what do I I don't so much note where I am the scale, on the scale sometimes, but it's I do often in my journal or in my head. Come back to what do I trust right now? Right? Because if I'm, like, floating around and I don't really feel anchored, and I will say through much of the summer, that was the case, because we've been in this giant state of flux in my land where, like, everybody's in a new school, we're in a new house, we've changed a lot of things very quickly, and it gets a little disorienting. I have sat down many times over the summer and answered the like, what do I trust right now? And it always comes back to, I can trust myself. I can trust the timing of how things are working. I can trust the process is the process is the process. I can trust that I'm useful to people, right? I don't sometimes that's it.

That's everything you just Brene browned, it will you? Sara did for sure, but there's a quote by her that trust is earned in the smallest of moments,
right? Those moments well, but it is the like, okay, so if I trust these things now, what can I do? I. Right? How do I act like that? And that is, for me, the reset so often. So it's not so much like, how much do I trust it? It's, do I and sometimes it's, there are things that are on the list sometimes and not others, right, where you're like, I don't know, but there is this core set of things, like, I trust myself. I've practiced that I trust the timeline, I trust the process. Do I sometimes disagree with them? Yes, but do I know better than to be like I know the timeline better than anyone else? No right or that the universe knows the like, silly me, that seems insane. So like, you know, I do think I just come back to what I do trust. Like, it's like, what do I know? What do I know for sure? So for you, when you feel like your trust is being challenged. What do you do? I stop and it's sounds so simple and uncomplicated.

It's simple to say or to do, right? Well, and when you so clarify for people what you mean when you say, stop.

So stopping increases that gap. Again, just understanding more that a lot of circumstances from my background made me in that gap like way too close, because I was always being hyper vigilant, always trying to protect myself from something blah, blah, blah. Again, different conversation, different time, so stop. Just gives me a chance to notice for myself, and I'll keep it really simple, but again, it's not easy. Am I on love channel or fear channel?

Well and I think, you know, it's funny, I tend not to use stop in my own sort of conversation with myself, because I don't mean like, put everything down and give up. I think so many people see a stop sign as, like, the end, right? It's like a, this is where you stop, stop doing all the things. It's like the, you know, you took standardized tests as a kid, they were like, there's the stop sign. Put your pencil down. You're done.

I embrace Woo. Woo for win. Wins. You are one of my most favorite people that believes in some of
that, but also you keep it so practical and logical.

So my thing, I would also say maybe on someone else's show might be
Sara Torpey, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, right it, but it's pause. I always think of that as it this is so like my inner math teacher is always annoyed by this one, but my inner it's really like a yield sign in the most like, in exactly what it says, There's compassion. Correct. It's like, pause, yield, like, right, rather than like, reach to the oven, don't you know, in someone's way. Correct. It's like a beautiful description. And so it is that, like, Hold on. What's happening here, right? It's awareness. And that is, like, a hold on. Do I need a second? I was just talking to a client today. We had this whole interesting conversation. You know, sometimes when you're creating something new and you feel like you're like, brain stutters a little bit, right? You're like, do I know anything? Do I Do I have any words left? I think we were talking today how I think about I think sometimes our ability to create and process in our brains and our ability to express that out of our brains and bodies, like, don't work at the same speed, and so that pause gives us a second for them to re sync. And I think we need that just a in creation, but just in general, because sometimes we get out of sync.

Stop Period, end of sentence, absolutely and soul in that I always say absolutely, because, again, you're really hitting at that inner thing we need to do that we live in a time and at least where I am outside close to Washington, DC, we'll just go.
Oh, it isn't always. It isn't often a place where that type of pause yield is given safe time for, or given space for, or that there are containers that are quickly accessible to be held by someone else, to do that type of thing.

Yes, well, and there is the like, internal pause. I think there are levels of pause, right? There's the this, like, stop yourself for a second, pause. Then there's the like, give yourself 10 minutes pause. Then there's the like, bring it to somebody else for 10 minutes. Pause, which is like, I paused, and now I'm like, holding this bag, and oh, what's I'm not really interested in looking at the contents of this by myself. Who knows what's in here. Maybe I'll say them out loud as I take them out, and my friend will be like, and then sometimes they're like, the get somebody else who is in this and gets it involved. Pause, right? It's like, wait, wait, wait, hold on. I need expertise mixed in here that I don't have. And so I think there's the like, layers of, hold on. What's happening here, right? That you're talking about as we sort of bump up against things that we may not trust, or that we're working on trusting,
yes, and I like that idea of bumping up because I think so much we are trying to stuff it down, distract it away, put it in a bag, and then put the bag on the other side of the room.

 I mean the courage piece and the trust piece and the vulnerability. I mean those are all things that get real soupy and tied together. And so if you mean, I'm not supposed to put all those bags on the other side. That's a lot of soup, a lot of recipes in that yes, then we can be okay in one and not in the other and something can trigger something somewhere, and it'd be totally different for someone else. And so then we can think, oh, it's me. I'm not enough. I can't do that. Isn't meant to do this. This isn't my purpose. And the whole again, I am just encouraged that I haven't left hip hop class yet, but and that I keep sharing a little bit
more is keeping it really private for a while. And I'm even finding with something like that, it is so useful, like you're saying, to just tell a few people, at least because support is needed, it's new learning space coming, therefore triggers and gremlins. 

Yes, well, and I think there is something you're doing it in public, right? So there is something magical about showing up number one, but there is something also magical about saying like, hey friend, here's what I'm doing, and I'm going to keep going and just like saying it out loud in the world to people who are not attending that class, who wouldn't know, right? Like we don't need to hide stuff, I think there is trust, but that is trust in yourself and trust in the people you're talking to to hold it properly, right? It's like handing them your baby and not having them hold your ankle.

What It Takes when it's something higher stakes, when something you know, because I give that example, because it's not so high stakes, but it's also just like a really playful way to do some of this trust building, yes, but when it's someone else sharing something with you that's at higher stakes, or you noticing for yourself. I just love that example of those three different ways to take that pause and allowing yourself to do that, like when you're doing that for yourself, Sara, like, what helps you so that you want to do it again later.

I think what I have learned from those little pauses in particular, either just like for a second or in my journal or to a friend, is that if I take those two minutes or five minutes or 10 minutes in the long run, even from just like a practical productivity standpoint, it saves me so much time and energy to just quickly pause and investigate it, rather than continue down the road and get too Far and be like, where it's like, when you drive three hours in the wrong direction, you're like, how did I end up in Ohio? What Right? Like, now I'm in Canada. Like, get to Canada, right? So it's, it's rechecking the map before you get to Canada. Right, like I'd like to know long before then, because I have things to do, and I have people to help, and I don't really want to drive all that far and then realize I'm, I'm meant to be in Mexico. Does that make sense?

It's so analogous to several years of my business. We will talk later.
Yes, well, but I feel like what you said about, you know, hip hop being sort of low stakes example of practicing that fail and trust is the higher stakes version is your is a business, right? What you're doing in work, what I'm doing in work is the higher stakes version. So it is really useful to have a lower stakes version in our lives, where we're like and it's playful, right? You and I mean, Sara, with your just energizing, super fun charts, the book you put out there with these, like, 16 ways we can all really look at our stuff and try and move forward. There's such a playfulness and a joy about the colors you choose, about the simple way, because, you know, children really are maximized when with simplicity, like they thrive with simplicity, and they keep us simple, right? They keep it real with us, and that can get so lost in when we're building something that's so important to us. Yes, I think that's another reason I just, you know, signed up for a class like that, or just some doing some other things, because in my work, in my business, even also in my family life, that play piece so important to me, well, and it has to be. I mean, I think people kind of roll their eyes at me. 

Sometimes. I know they do because I see it, but I think when we do, when we add in parts that are fun for us, everything else is easier, right? Like, I often, like, will do games in my email or my Facebook group or on LinkedIn or wherever, because they're fun for me, and when we're playing a game, it all doesn't feel so serious and hard and heavy, but we can do the learning in this context, right? When I was teaching, when I was coaching teachers, I played a ungodly amount of math games with kids and adults, like my husband, like he knows them all, even still. But that is because it is sneaky learning, right? Because it's fun and we're learning the hard stuff. Because, you know, like, as I used to tell fourth grade, it's less threatening, and also I'm gonna lose to you, I'm a grown up. I used to be, and they'd be like, but I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pull the punch. They're like, you gotta beat me, kid, come on, let's go. And so you can add in some of that irreverence and that fun and all of it, and have it still be learning. And I think that matters. 

It's just very re energizing, and it creates some, again, more that distance between the stimulus response or just, you know, the thing we're trying to make happen, versus the way we're staying stuck. You know, whatever it is, it just helps create space. Yes, well, it's so funny you say that those are two words together, make happen that I have tried to banish from my vocabulary in my journal, particularly because make happen feels like hustle, right? So for me, I have been really intentional for the last, I don't know, probably 18 months on allow to happen the things I let, the things I allow, the things I I can't make them yes and receive, receive is one, yeah, right. It's so interesting. I like think about that all the time, only because it's like, because it feels no, I hear you on that language is very powered, powerful. I I even don't say create things. I want to create. I want to I move more towards co create.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, overdoing it all by myself. Even though, like I have always had a very strong spiritual side, I'm still learning how to leverage a higher energy than my own. And, yeah, and does it make a huge difference at the end of the day, when I look at that bucket you were talking about, when I look at my own container, because it's so much bigger, if it's shared, yes, yeah, or make happen. I like it.

I like it well, and it's like that, but it's that same. I think there is allowing, is trusting it, right? Of course it's gonna work if I have to make it happen. Am I trusting it like that's the question I ask myself all the time. Am I trusting that it's gonna do it if I have to force it? Well, probably not.

And it goes back to that detachment thing you were talking about. Oh, you're trusting that something's gonna happen, but detaching from it happening, like the thing that you would normally say, I'm making whatever happened with the make happen?
Yeah? Well, it's funny. I wrote myself a note in my journal today about, like, I trust the timeline. And also I have to remember that the timeline doesn't actually adhere to the Roman calendar.
But like it is not my calendar,

September 25 Right? Like it has no like the timeline is not like, oh, September 30 is a great day for this to happen. Like it just does not these are has
a whole new podcast series on the construct of time and how it's all made up, right?
But, like, it's so funny to me that, like, the note in my journal today was like, Girl, the timeline and the calendar are not the same. Like, could you just take a breath? Like, this might exactly be what it says in there, because it was, again, that invitation for the pause Yes. So tell me what is one thing about trust you want people to be thinking about as they walk away. I think around bringing self compassion and curiosity into it. I feel that's what we were just doing. The Curiosity kind of invites that play, that non judgmental, that, Ooh, what's gonna happen here? Channel sometimes when things are hard, right? Yeah.

And the compassion, honestly, I think, is, again, I help a lot of people with a lot of different gender identifications, but those that are around female woman like, there's a lot of re teaching that to ourselves right now that's in the waters and is really important. And I have a daughter as well, and I noticed how soon she kind of lost that, and what a I could tell you, almost the circumstances. And, you know, I just realizing I'm glad I'm doing that for myself, so that maybe she has something to look at, to learn that decades before I did, I had it when I was a kid, up to a certain point, and then, just like certain things happen and unraveled and wrecked and broke, blah, blah, blah, but it's just that reclaiming of that compassion and bringing both of Those, the compassion and curiosity when you are redefining, rebuilding, healing, whatever we want to put on the word with trust
well. And I think what is lovely about both of those is they are also scale related, right? Just like we're on a scale with trust. You know, those are corresponding scales with it, zero to one, hundreds. 

So I feel like, you know, maybe trust is low, but can I can I raise the compassion? Can I raise the curiosity? Because I feel like those play. Well, yeah, that's fun, because I think I see a chart coming. Will you make me a chart? Sara, please.
But I it's like a little picture. It's like compassion. So I it's,
oh, you're gonna play with it later. I can feel it. I'm very excited what this gonna be well, and I think it's really interesting the interplay there, because when we it's almost like they're connected sliders. If we can bring up the compassion, we probably have more room for the curiosity. And when we have compassion and curiosity, there's more space for trust, right? Like, those things all sort of slide
each other, yes, right? And they're like, dimmer liquidity that you're talking about.
Yeah, they're like, sideways dimmer switches. That's what I always picture.
Okay, yes to that, yes.

So I think you're right. Like, I don't think right, you're definitely right, more compassion and curiosity and just sort of the like, always think about like, peeling my hands off the front of the roller coaster, right? Like I can't drive it. It's going to go where it goes. I maybe could let go, right? Because we're just. Is holding on so tight that it's so much harder.

Okay, gonna go woo, woo, for fun for a second, but I go for roller coaster is totally on my vision board. And you just answered, why? What did you just say? That was so no, that was so resonating,

Sara, I am going to remember that as well, and I hope people listening do too, as we hopefully, most of us have been on a roller coaster, and that is an excellent just, I'm very visual, and I love Yeah, and I You're bringing all that up in that metaphor for me and to just allowing that, letting go, instead of the gripping, yes, and it just all it would take would be a pause to notice and to do it, yes, and it's just like a loose in your you know, maybe we're taking a like a bar class or done anything where you're holding a weight, and they'll be like, let Your loosen your hands. Like, don't be death gripping it. That's this, like, I don't think you death gripping the roller coaster is not a thing, because the roller coaster doesn't care how, how tight you hold on, like it's going to do what it does, what it does, and so like, you can make your hands hurt, or you could just be on it. And I say that as a girl who doesn't roller coaster because my ears don't like it, but like life roller coaster, we do that every damn day, every day. I feel it's a little more lately too well.

But as I tell people all the time, could I please ride the kitty one? I would could we go? Could we get on the kitty coaster instead of Space Mountain, I'd be super appreciative if we could get on the short people one. That'd be amazing. I cuz,
like you're reminding me how my kids inherited some of my nervous, dysregulated system. At the time, although I enjoyed most of all my pregnancies, I had two amazing ones and fairy gifted but the only ride that those two little, beautiful people would ride back then, when we were at Disney World, was Tomorrowland.
Any that you pay all this money to repeat tomorrow land. I've been on it the slowest moving thing that you could ever be on. It was always the only place they felt safe when they were young. And I look back at that now, and I understand that journey so much more while we were watching all the other kids maybe go on Space Mountain. Yes, same area. 

That's funny. So again, you are so good at bringing up something that makes what we're trying to say and have ourselves and others practice more for themselves. So things are easier. You're so good at bringing up those images. So thank you for that one.

Oh my gosh, thank you. I That Tomorrowland, I'm gonna be thinking about that all day. That makes that will make me smile all day. That's amazing. I could totally
it's kind of where my life is right now, though, I need to be going slower. I need, I need to be Thank you, right?

That's, that's, you know, that's the theme of today. Thank you so entirely much for coming to play with me. Tell, tell people all the right places to find you. I'll put it all in the transcript and all that, but tell them out loud, because they should all listen to me friends. Before she does this, remember that the people on the podcast are all human beings, and you can reach out to them and say, like, Hey, I would love to know you too. You can find them on LinkedIn. You can find them on the places they are human beings that actually have conversations with other human beings. So maybe try that, like, don't be scared. Okay, now you can go tell them all the
things I love. Me an online chai tea moment. Yes, I will talk to you. We will time it to make sure it's a certain amount of minutes, so that we all keep our boundaries, because that's important.

But I, for me, I am also playing a lot on, I wouldn't say a lot again, I put my timer on, and I'm in and out of there at a good pace. But Instagram still is one of my more energizing places most of the time. And LinkedIn, I dip in and out of there, but I think my website, shakey.com to S, H, E, A, K, i.com, I took the first two letters of my full last name because in Japanese, it's all about understanding life force, energy, and I always incorporate Reiki into my coaching. Either I'm teaching my client how to do self Reiki, or I'm doing it before the session, if maybe they're not into something like that, or I'm doing it after the session to kind of send them some long distance transformative healing energy. So that's where I play.
That's amazing. I am absolutely delighted to get. To bring you to people and to get to talk to you today, because the best part of the podcast where we interview people is that I get to talk to the people I like the best. I get to talk to my favorite people here. So please, friends, go talk to Shay because, like, She's lovely. You just talk to her for a while. She's a not. This isn't made up. So follow her around, be her new bestie. Billy is good at all the things, and I might share publicly, beyond this podcast, something from hip hop class, and I will need a lot of support.

Oh my gosh, please, please, tell me, please, please, please, imagine
the other Gremlins that might come out attacking not just my own. But yeah, the internet's not nice, and that's okay too. It doesn't but like another person, work on our own trust. The other part of that is, imagine how many people it
serves, yes, yes, yes. That's the only set of people we'll have to clear that with the daughter first. But yes, right? My 13 would be like a teenager, like, you know, what goes out there has to be a little bit a little bit a little bit mindful.

Oh my gosh. It's such a delight to talk to you. Thank you so much, friends. If you're not in my in my Facebook group, it is the same name of this podcast. It's called uncomplicating business for people helpers and for people teachers, helpers and givers also, please know this. In the next couple of weeks, I have a new thing that I am going to be sharing, and it is called the uncomplicated Business Lab, and it will be very soon available to you. It sort of depends on when this publishes, but if you want to come play with me in a new place where we're going to play all the games and do all the things, keep an eye out. It'll be super fun. So invitations to that will be out soon. All right, friends. I'll see you in two weeks.