Sarah, welcome, welcome. Welcome to uncomplicating business. Hi. I'm Sara. If you've been listening, you know who I am, but I am the creator of selling for weirdos. I am a business coach, I'm a teacher, I'm a parent, I'm all a whole lot of things today. 

What I want to talk with you about is learning in a group. And specifically, what I'd like to share today are lessons I think that will enable you to get more learning out of any kind of group situation that you find yourself in, whether it is learning in and with a networking group, whether it is in a group coaching program or a Facebook group that you're a member of and there's learning opportunities for you or what have you. 

I think one of the best things we're constantly surrounded by, sort of group learning opportunities as business owners. And what I'd like to share today are some of the lessons that I have learned about being a participant in group and learning in that way, both in networking and coaching groups and all of those kinds of things, but also what I see as someone who leads group programs and has for a long time about the people who come in and get the most out.

 So if you are someone who is learning in a group right now, who is considering group learning for the next year or into the new year, or is in networking situations where you find yourself trying to learn in a group setting. This is for you. The thoughts I have today kind of break into four buckets. There's really like four suggestions, basically, that will help you to get the most out of any group learning experience, whether you're paying for it or not, but if it's in networking, or it's in coaching, you're probably paying for it, and what you want is your money's worth, right? 

So the first sort of lesson, at least for me, from group coaching, both as a learner and as a leader, is that you get more out of group coaching when you really do take responsibility for yourself as a learner and say, like, I am going to get as much out of this as humanly possible. For me, I always go in and like, think I'm going to get my money's worth out of these people, and not in a bad way, but it's like, I'm going to ring every ounce of good out of this group experience that I possibly can especially if I've paid a lot of money, you know, and I have paid, you know, from $10 to $10,000 for group kinds of experiences. 

So I think it's really important to know that I've tried all the different ways, and for me to walk in and be like, Okay, how do I get the most out of this? Really Matters. So I've developed some ways to really for me in in ways that I've teach clients to develop some ways Hold on. I have to move this one thing, it might be noisy to really make sure I'm getting the most out of learning. So the first one is to bring questions. If you are in a container of any sort, and they offer you like little bits of one on one coaching, or they'll take questions or whatever. Say Yes, bring a question, have a problem, bring something that you can get help with. Sometimes I'm sitting right before I join and I think, like, I don't know what I want to bring today, but I always come up with something. It's like, what could I have help with right now? 

Because if I'm paying for the container, you know, I am going to use the resources, and those resources, the most important resources in those containers, are the people running it. Are the experts. And so when you bring questions, when you bring problems, when you bring things, you want specific help with those experts get to do a better job of helping you, so you're enabling them to give you the best of them. When you bring your questions, when you say, This is what I need, I always make sure all especially in concert with questions that I say, Hey, here's what I need right now, sometimes that is how the group works, right other times, it's not, like I'm in a group container right now, where you know the way they generally have people come in and what they're working on in which order and how they're learning is different than what I needed. So I started in the usual path. Yeah. And then very quickly I was like, Oh, I this. This isn't what I need. 

And instead of going like, Ooh, is this the right container for me, what I did is I went to the leaders and said, Hey, this is different than what I need. I think you have what I need if what I need is something different. In my case, it was more the like processes and systems and less the like, who my ideal client is, and how to talk to them, because I'm really good at that. I said, you know, here's what I actually need. How do I get this? And since then, you know, I bring my like, Okay, I did this now what to them and let them direct the process. They know their resources best. I knew they were the right people for me, but the resources I essentially am doing backwards. 

So I'm kind of starting at the end and working really targeted, where they'll say, Okay, now take this piece out of here. So I don't just because a container has a or a program has a plan that works a certain way. That doesn't mean you have to do it like that. You get to say, hey, I really need this to be a little different in order to be effective. For me, what does that look like? Like? I have a student in my selling for weirdos course right now, who, when she joined, messaged me and was like, Listen, I have a really hard time doing this thing in this way that's in the course. So how else could I approach it? And she and I sat down and figured out a way for her to get what she needed in a format that really works for her. I have another client in that same course who, you know, there's a video connection tool in there. And she was like, Listen, I have a really hard time with the video part. What's another way for us to do this? And we devised another way, right? But what your job is is to make the ask, to say, Hey, I see what's good in here, but I want to do it a little differently. And that's fine. 

The person running the group, the people running the group, if they are secure in themselves, if they're secure in their content, will be like, Okay, how do you want to do it? And there will be cases in groups where the leadership is like, Nope, this is the way it has to be. And either they're doing that for a good reason, or they're doing that because they're uncomfortable, and you then have to decide, you know how that works for you, but you know you also get to leave things if it's not for you, that's always a possibility. It doesn't feel like it all the time, but it is. The other thing that I think is really important in taking responsibility for your learning is I try to look at every conversation that is happening in the groups I'm in, even when they are not with me or about me, or something I am doing, as if they have something for me. It's like, what is the bit in this conversation that's going on right now that is useful for me? Like two weeks ago, I was in a group coaching call. And it was all about the election and all sorts of political things happening. 

But in the midst of it, there was this little piece of like, hey, in the next couple of weeks, the people in the US, you know, I'm recording this a little early, but it was about how during the actual election and leading up and right behind, people are just not paying attention to everything in business the same way. And it was like, Oh, I didn't need the whole conversation. But that little bit really was for me, and that was really important for me to walk away with. So like, you get to look at every conversation that is happening in a group container that is happening in even a course you're learning. It's like, what about this? Right? Here is, for me, what am I taking away from it? Because that's how you're intentional as a learner, right? It's like, what? What am I getting from this part right here, and then thinking about what it might be. 

Sometimes it's not something we want. Sometimes you're like, Oh man, it's this lesson in trust again, dang it. I didn't want that. Or like, oh gosh, this is where I have to, like, acknowledge that I have feelings or thoughts that may not be entirely positive. Okay, nobody wants that either, but it's still important. And then the last part of this, taking responsibility for your learning, is to, you know, be participatory, right? It is, I understand that not everybody wants to participate from the front row, like I've taught for a million years, I understand some people want to participate from the back row. Some people think need more time to think and absorb than others. Some people need to process out loud. 

Some people need time to process in writing. I am somebody who. Needs way  more time than other people to think and absorb and like, mull things a little bit before I make sense of them, or before I decide what I want to do with them. So I understand that, and we get what we put in to a degree. So it's like we have to participate and be a part of the community in order for us to get the maximum value. So you can't just, like, show up and hope value appears right? It's like opening the oven and expecting cake to come out, except you didn't make one. That's That's not how cake works, although I really do, I wish that was like, that'd be amazing if I could, like, think about cake and open the oven and out a cake would come. That'd be magic. And also, that's not how it works. That's not how learning works either. I'm sorry to say, like you as a teacher, as a giver, as a helper, you know this too. It sucks, but you know, we get out what we put in.

 So we're not putting in time, if we're not putting in energy, if we're not participating, we don't get as much back out. That's just the way. That's the That's the equation, right? So participate. And it could be that what you ask yourself is like, what does it mean for me to meaningfully participate here what feels like a version of meaningful participation that would work for me. 

Because if you do that and you say, here's how I want to participate in this group, or here's the way I can participate, that feels really good for me and also connects me to other people. Great. That's a great way to do it. Whatever works for you, works, but not doing it at all doesn't work. Okay? The second thing that I think is really important to how to grow in a group is to have an end goal, like, what are you trying to get out of the experience? Why are you there? And the group? You know, most groups, if they have a structure and a plan, are asking you that they're asking you at the start to think about your goal and at the end to think about where you got because they should be just equally as invested in your goal as you are. But not every group is structured that way. Networking groups and learning are not necessarily. 

Conferences are not necessarily and so it's like, why am I here? What is my goal? What I'm trying? What am I trying to get out? I always think about this when I go to networking things. I always think about this when I go to conferences where it's like, what's what am I trying to walk away from this with this experience. And it can also be a question you ask about group coaching, about a group that you're in, it's like, why am I here? What do I want to leave with, and how do I get it right? If you're going to a conference, it could be that you're looking for connection and meeting new people, or you're looking to learn a specific thing, or you're looking to just get out of your comfort zone and talk to a whole lot more people. If it is a group container, maybe there is a specific goal, like you're trying to learn X marketing thing that you can implement, like learn and implement maybe at networking, it's, I want to meet X number of people and have X number of one on ones. 

Or I want to be really comfortable saying to people, Hi, this is me. This is what I do. All of those goals are fine, but you gotta have one right, because then it makes when you show up at networking and the conference and the group coaching really purposeful, because you know why you're there. If we just go, we just kind of float right, and that's hard. So it is important that even if they don't ask you for your goal, that you ask you for your goal, because having a goal gives us a focus, and focus really matters. Number three, this is the most important thing in a group, container, period for me, like it truly is, meet all the people. 

This is the smartest thing I do every single time. And people are be like, Wow, I can't believe you're doing that. That's so smart, man. Meet all the people. I was in a group coaching container in late 2020 2020, and I went through and met all the people. And some of those people today are still in my world. They are people I work with. They are people I love. They are colleagues, they are clients, they are friends, they are all kinds of things. I'm in a container right now. I've been really intentional about meeting all the people, and all of those same things will be true. Plus, what's really handy is when clients and friends and colleagues come to me and they're like, I need someone who does x thing, I know exactly where to send them, because I've met all of these amazing people through these groups over time that I can be like, Oh, she's great.

 I have somebody that's great for SEO. I have somebody that's great working with parents. I have somebody who's great at like, I like, the list is huge. But. Met these amazing people and gotten to see them doing their work up close and personal. And I know the kinds of things they're working on and building and why, and that makes those connections so much stronger for both them and for me, and that is a huge thing. It expands your network. It expands their network. It expands the visibility of your business. 

It expands the opportunities for your business, because I have had speaking things and interviews and referrals and clients come from all of those connections. But if I am not making the effort to meet all the people, I'm not meeting all the people. It's just that simple. And then here is the last one. This one's a little different. I think it is to understand the limitations of group learning. I think sometimes we go into a group expecting magic, because that's what it sounds like they promised. I'm not a big fan of promising magic and not delivering it. Like, you know me, I'm of all about like we're gonna do what we say we're going to do, but be aware that group containers, group learning is not the same as individual learning. It can be individualized, and you can individualize it for yourself, but at its core, learning in a group is different. 

It's like learning in a classroom versus tutoring, right? They're not the same they're not targeted the same way. They're not built the same way. The teacher in me knows this, and so be careful when you look at a group program, to know that there are limitations. Every container, every version of coaching and learning has limitations, and it is okay. That doesn't make them wrong, but that just means that limitations exist, right? There are limitations for how warm a coat can keep you, there are limitations for how long you can wear a pair of shoes. There are limitations on what a group container will accomplish in what period of time, there are limitations on how much help one on one, you can get from the leaders in a group program. 

There are limitations sometimes on the amount of resources you have. So when you are thinking about what you want to get out of a program, it's important that that aligns with what the resources in the group are and the limitations. And I don't know that we think about that until afterwards or midway through, when we're like, Ooh, there are limitations. So for you, think about how groups aren't perfect, and that's okay, but they're not, they're not meant to be they're not meant to be everything, and that's okay. We can let them be what they are and acknowledge that it's not the same as individual coaching. It's not the same as just plain self paced learning. It's not the same as mentoring, just different. It's okay, it's just different. 

So hopefully these ideas are useful. If you have questions, please just reach out to me@torpeycoaching.com you can come to my email at Sara at Torpey coaching, or you can find me on Facebook or LinkedIn or whatever place makes you happy. Also, the next round of my group coaching program called the implementation lab, is launching this month. I adore group coaching. Personally, I love leading group coaching, and I'm a big believer in very small, very targeted groups. I want to have the ability to help people individually and as a group, all in the same breath. So groups are capped at four people, so that everybody gets exactly what they need, and we work together as a group, and that we can use the expertise we all have to grow each other. 

The implementation lab is exactly what it sounds like. It is very much about creating forward progress in your business, it is about both the implementation of the actions and the tools and the processes that move you closer to your sales goals and the accountability to do it, because there is nothing like promising in a group committing, which is what we do every week, to saying, here's what I'm going to do in the next week, and then having to come back and say, like, how did it go? It's never going to be like, Oh, you were a bad person because you didn't do it. But you know when we have to come back, it's like a little bit of healthy pressure. In the implementation lab, I teach something I think of as the doing D, O, I N, G, capital letters framework for for putting things into action.

 And I will help you use that framework in achieving whatever goals it is you're trying to move forward right now, before the end of 2024 if you sign up for group coaching that starts in February. Three the cost for the program is $2,000 for 12 weeks starting January 1, that price is going up to $2,400 so it's going up by $400 if you commit in January. 

So if you want to come into group program, group coaching, excuse me, into the implementation lab. Now is a great time to do it. If you have questions, reach out. I'm happy to connect. If you want to talk more about it, sign up on my website. There's definitely a way to do that, and I would love to help you get things done in the new year. So come let's do it together.