welcome. Welcome to a new episode of uncomplicating business for teachers, helpers and givers. This is the first new episode I have recorded since, really the start of the summer this year, I use the summer to bring back some of the episodes from the podcast where people have talked to me about them the most over time, where I've gotten the most feedback over time, and I and got ton of conversation and feedback about those episodes over the summer, you know, about celebrating, about how to do things, even when those are, you know, the whole bunch of them. I called them the summer How To series. But here we are now. It's September. We're rolling into fall. 

This episode is live September 10, which is wild in 2024 I'm not sure how we're here yet. And today, what we're going to talk about is, I think the three or four lessons that I have been thinking about from 2024 so far, I hear from you guys all the time that these are some of your favorite episodes. It's like, what are the things we're learning together? What are the things I'm learning, and what can you take away from them? So that's what we're going to talk about today before we jump into that. Though, I have two things that I want to make sure to invite you to. The first is small group coaching. 

So uncomplicating Success is the small group coaching program I run. It is really all about simplifying, clarifying and making selling and growing your business simpler in a group container, where you also get the support and camaraderie and connection to other business owners who are in a similar position that you are. You get to learn together, but also get exactly what you need in the small group coaching. The maximum of people in any group is four. It's often three, because I really like a group of three, and this right now is the last week to join this round. That's starting in the fall.

 The next opportunity to join group coaching will be in the end of February, probably. So if you're thinking about joining a coaching container this fall, you know this is a really good option, because it's going to give you the individual support you need. That's part of what we do in the group, and also group learning and connection and community that it's really hard to create on your own sometimes, this is a really fabulous way to do it.

 This is the 10th round of group coaching that I'm running, and I am always so honored when I go out into Facebook or into my world and I see the connection between people who I had in group, you know, two or three or four years ago at this point, who are still rooting for each other and a part of each other's worlds and in each other's work. And it's like, you know what they started together in group coaching, and that, for me, is magic. That's the first invitation. 

The second is that on September 23 we're doing something fun and new, and it will be the first of, I think, three in a series of these. We're doing a little experiment. So get in on the experiment called offer hours. So what this is going to be is you and me, and I'm capping it at 15 people this round are going to get together on Zoom for 90 minutes. The first time we meet is going to be on Monday, November, November where am I? September, 23 and we are going to make offers the first chunk of time and offer hours is I'm going to talk with you a little bit about offers, about the kinds of offers you can make. I'm going to sort of give you a little menu of things you can pick from. 

Everybody's going to make some decisions about how many offers they want to make, where they're going to make them, which platforms, what kinds of offers, which things that they sell, they're going to be focused on, and then we're actually going to write them. We're going to have time together to do the work and make the offers and actually create them. And then at the end, we're going to have a little bit of time where you actually put some of them out into the world. So if you want to make more offers, and it ends up being the last thing on your list, and you could use some accountability to get it done. 

Come to offer hours, they're going to be so fun. I'm so excited. If you want to join either group coaching or offer hours, you can find links to them in I will make sure they're in the notes for the podcast. But also come into the Facebook group, which is the same name as this podcast, or to email. It will be in all of those places. You will not miss it. I promise okay from here, I was thinking about what the things I wanted to talk about in Fall were this over the summer, and one of the things that keeps coming up for me. 

These really core lessons I feel like I've learned so far this year, the things I've been reminded of there are, I have it written down as three, and then I looked at my bullets and there are four. So it's three and a half. We'll call it three and a half. You know, me always a bonus. And they are the things that I'm really glad that I've done this year, because I've learned so much from them. The first one is to get in the scary room. What I mean when I say this is one of the things I was feeling like last year is that I knew all of the people in my world, all of the networking groups I was in. I kind of knew all the people the coaching I was doing. I knew how it was working. I just was sort of in this very comfortable, known place. 

And I started to think about where I was going to go in the new year, in 2024 to meet new people, but also like who I wanted to be meeting. And what I realized is I wanted to be meeting people who were further ahead of me than the people I had been meeting. Right? Because sometimes we meet people who are in the world and in their businesses where we are, which is great to have, but we really also need people that are kind of intimidating and scary and ahead of us, and I was not meeting enough of them. 

So one of the decisions I made early in 2024 was to join both a new network and like a new networking group. This one is called the PROSPER network and a new group coaching container, and both of those have people in them that I look around and I'm like, Oh, she's scary. But that's a good thing, because it has stretched me to reach out and meet new people. It has stretched me to ask to connect to new people. It has stretched me to learn about what those people are doing and how they're doing it. It is given me all kinds of new ideas. It has been scary, and there have been times where I'm like, Oh God, I can't believe I'm going to talk to this person today, or I can't believe this person now knows who I am, right? There's been a couple of those moments, but all of those moments have been worthwhile because they've turned into all kinds of interesting things, podcast interviews, clients, friends, people I'm like, thrilled to see out and about in the world.

 Speaking opportunities, paid speaking opportunities, chances to be on podcasts, all kinds of stuff. But it is because I decided that I needed to be in some scarier places. So for you, the question I'd ask is, are you intimidated by the room you're in? And if you're not, can you find one that is a little scarier, because there is a lot of growth that comes from being surrounded by people who are a little ahead of you, right? If we're all in the same place, who's who's leading the charge, and there is a time and a place to be the one leading the charge, right? But everyone gets to a place where it's time for more.

So that's the first one. The second lesson, the second thing that I've really taken away from in 2024 so far, is that I have to ask for things. This is, I don't know about you, but this is really hard for me. And I talked to somebody like last week, they were like, oh gosh, asking for help. Isn't that the worst thing ever listen. We are really good as human beings, particularly us, service oriented teacher folks at giving help. We are excellent at like having people ask us for things and running with it. We are not necessarily as good at asking for things for ourselves, whether it be help with our businesses, someone to you know, check in at our ideas, time with a friend, ask for connection. So this year, one of the things I've been really focused on is asking in the group community I'm in, part of my job as a community member is to ask to connect to other people. Part of my job as a community member is to ask the leaders for the support I need to say, like, hey, I need a little bit of your time. 

Part of my job is to say, Hey, guys, here's this thing I'm working on. What do you think of it? And ask for feedback. I have to ask as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, part of my job, and this is where it's hardest for me, is to say, like, Hey guys, I'm really stuck too many time to spend with me. Can we just get dinner? Could we get lunch? Could you be in charge for a little while here at home, I need to take a walk right now. Or do you have everything under control? I. Right? I'm not great all the time at advocating for myself, but I really am working on it. And it is a really powerful thing to ask for what you want and need in a business context, but also a personal context, because I think if we're practicing in one place, we're getting the practice in it all of them. 

So for you, what I wonder is, what are the things you need? Small things, large things, like two weeks ago, I realized that I had been struggling to figure out how to do something on my website. All sudden, it dawned on me that I have someone who built my website, who really knows it very well who would be more than happy to help me? And I was like, Oh, crap. I could just ask. And I sent her an email, and I said, here's what I'm trying to do. What are your thoughts? And she was like, Oh, this is easy. Here's how we do it. And I was like, Oh, I of course, had been banging my head into it for like, a month before it even occurred to me to ask, duh. 

So the question for you is, like, what are the small things? What are the tricky things? What are the big things? Where are the places that you want more, that you need more and you haven't asked for help? Be it with your business, be it for time in your day, be it, I don't know, with making dinner or laundry, or whatever it is, but like, what are the small asks? What are the big asks? What are the scary asks? Because sometimes the small ones are scary, sometimes the big ones are scary, sometimes they're all scary. 

Sometimes you're like, Oh, I could really just ask for that. That'd be fine. Sometimes it just doesn't occur to us to ask. That is much more. What happens to me where I'm like, Oh, I could, I guess somebody could help me with that. That's sometimes I'm just stubborn, but I am really practicing, like, what can I ask for today? Because it's a good habit for me to learn, and maybe it's a good habit for you to learn too, because it's helped me as a business owner, in asking for what I need to grow, but also for new connection, because that is another thing I have to ask for. It's like, hey friend or hey person I saw at networking, I'd love to, like, know more about you. 

Can you tell me? Like, are you willing? Can we connect? And that's that's people might say no, right? But like, even if they do, so, what better to ask? Right? That's lesson number two. Lesson number three is right up there with asking. It's not everybody's favorite thing to do, certainly not mine. And that is to say, No, man, I do not like saying no to things, and I often say to people like saying no feels like closing a door. So a lot of times we're like we I don't want to say no, I want to leave my options open, but we can't constantly have all the options open. It's just not effective for business or for human brains or computer tabs.

 Even though, God, I love my computer tabs, you probably know that about me. Maybe you don't, but at any given moment, I definitely have somewhere between 50 and 200 tabs open, and that's not exaggerating, that's that's real. So I run on an open tab system, and I really do like to have my options open, but sometimes we have to say no to opportunities, to something that we've been doing that maybe isn't working anymore, to a way of doing something that isn't fitting for us, to something somebody wants from us that we just don't have to give. 

Right this year has been a year where, like I have been met time and time again with it's time to say no to that. It's that's not for me right now. And as much as I have a hard time admitting those things where it's like, I don't think that's a fit. Every time I say no, something changes in in a good way, something grows that I didn't expect. An opportunity presents itself that I didn't see coming, like the no's have all turned into yeses, and that's not always going to be the case. I'm not saying that it's magic like that, but it has felt really powerful for me this year to say no, to be like you know what? I that's not for me.

 But thank you. I appreciate you thinking of me? I've said no a couple of times to connections, to people who reach out when, and I almost never do that, but they have been cases where it's like, based on the feedback I have from other people, based on what I know about what you're doing it like, I don't know if this is a good use of your time or mine, right? Like, that's going to happen sometimes, and I am protective of my time and space, because there is only so much of me to go around, right? And over the summer in particular, I this is the second day of school year this year. 

This is the first. Day since, I think sometime in mid June, that no one is my house all day long, except me, and it's amazing, and I'm enjoying the quiet and recording a podcast in it, but also it has led to some no's, because I can't do everything with all the people all the time, and that's okay, right? So that's the third thing. Like, what are some no's you can say right now? Where are some places you have you are undecided because you just don't want to say no, because you're really decided. That's the thing. I have said this before in the podcast.

 I've said it my group. I say it all the time. I contend that we almost always know the answer. When we say I don't know, it's more like I don't want to say because you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, you don't want to take a risk, you don't want to tell somebody No, nobody likes to hear no, and so we don't we just say, I don't know, and that's not really serving you or them. So where are there places where you're putting I don't know where no goes. And what if you said no? How would that feel? What would change? How is that powerful for you? How could it be powerful for them? What's something that changes today because of it? Okay? And so the the 3.5 thing, the last thing here is what it says on my little sheet of paper is, let the timeline be the timeline. 

Here's the thing, US business owners, me business owner, we are impatient. Girl friend, guys, I get it. I am impatient. I want what I want, what I want, and I want it right now. I want all the things to be worked out today. I want all the text hurdles solved. I want the things to all be in place. And also, that is not how any of this works. And then you mix in kids and families and pets and parents and extended family and school and holidays and vacations and houses and projects and Good heavens, sometimes the timeline just is the timeline is the timeline. And the thing I tell people all the time, another one, because clearly, that's what we're doing on the podcast today. 

Things I say all the time is, you can't be late for your own success. Can't be late for your own life. You can't be late. So if we know we can't be late, that we're not behind, that's not a thing. And I really, truly believe that's not a thing. You right now are thinking, Oh, my God, she's lost her mind. But I in working on, I've spent a lot of energy over a period of years working on how I think about time and pressure and hustle and all of this stuff. And I really have come to the conclusion that, like, it's not possible for me to be behind on my stuff. Like, if it's mine, I can't be behind. This is just nothing. 

So if that's the case, then the timeline, whatever timeline I'm on, when the thing gets launched, when the thing starts, when it gets released, when it gets pushed, when it starts, when it ends, when they say, Yes, like all of that is going to work the way it's meant to work. The timeline is the timeline, and it is my job to add energy to it, to move it forward. But sometimes the timeline is just the timeline y'all in, if we can make peace with that, in the way we can do the things we can take the actions to move the timeline along. 

Sometimes the timeline is stubborn, and life happens around it, and that just is what it is. And so one of the things I've been constantly reminded this year, both in my own life and in the life of my clients, because, you know, I have clients going through amazing things right now, and I have clients going through the hardest things in life, like illnesses, deaths, struggles with kids, like just all the things. And these are cases where, you know, the successes are wonderful, but the hard times are also inevitable. And so for us to be in a place where it's like, the timeline is the timeline is the timeline, and we are okay no matter what is a really important place to be. So I think about it a lot for my business, but also in theirs, it's like, okay, this is all still gonna work, even if it's not today, it's all still working when we get there, we get there, and that's just sometimes the way things are. 

So for you today, on that very, maybe not so uplifting note, where can you allow the timeline that you're on to be the timeline? Yes, you can add energy to it. Yes, we can move it forward faster. There are things we can do. We do those things in coaching all the time. But I. You know, sometimes it just is. Where can you allow things to be what they are, and stop fighting with time and let it be on your side, versus trying to beat it into submission, which is never goes well. Where can that be? That is the key question today. 

So the thing I want you to walk away with is like, it's okay to be afraid. It's okay to be surrounded by people that intimidate you. It is okay to ask for help and connection and everything you want and need, both want and need make sure you're getting the want there you're allowed to want. It is okay to say no, and it is also okay to allow the timeline that you're on to be the timeline that you're on, because you can't be late for your own success. 

My friend, it's not possible. If you need me and you want to get in touch, please go to my website, go to my Facebook group, go to my LinkedIn go to wherever it is you want to find me and send a note and say, Hey, let's connect. I'm always up for that promise. I know I said before. There are times I say no, but it's not to you. Trust me, I know the difference. 

If you want to come into group coaching, please send a message sooner than later, because group close on the 13th, which is this Friday, and if you're coming to offer hours, go find the link and sign up. It is $30 it is the best deal going. I can't wait. I will see you in two weeks. We are back to new episodes every two weeks, and I can't wait to send them all your way. Bye.