Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. This week, we are going to talk about how to find clarity. And here's the thing here at the top of the year, or the beginning of 2023. This is one of those things, right? There's people I have all the people in my world who are all the entrepreneurs are like, this is the year I'm going to clear. 

But I know exactly who I'm talking to. I'm going to get my messaging, right, it's going to all work it's going to do, I'm going to get like the niche, and the money and the all the things all figured out exactly as they should be. And that all is great. I am a super fan of clarity, clarity never hurt anyone. However, I think what I've found for myself and for clients, and what I see all the time, is that we go about finding clarity in a way that makes it harder to get not easier. So actually, this whole clarity thing isn't it feels really complicated the way we go about it, which is to just like think, and think and think and think and the more we think the less clear things get.

 It's like we go inside the brain, the soup. That is our brain and we stir and we stir and we stir and it just gets cloudier and cloudier. What I find is that in the pursuit of clarity, if all we're doing is thinking, we're just getting more unclear, not less. And what we have to do is just something different. So today, we're gonna talk about how to find clarity in a way that is actually pretty simple. But just different from the way we think we ought to do it right. So before I jump into that, there are a couple of things I want to make sure to share. First, the next round of small group coaching that I run on complicating business, small group coaching, launches in two weeks, at the time of this podcast is a podcast release will be two weeks from now. So it may or may not be full by then. 

So if you want a spot in the group, please reach out, you can come to my website, which is Torpey coaching.com, it's linked in the show transcript. And or you can just send me a message and say, hey, I want to talk about group group coaching is magical. It is 20 weeks of you getting the individual coaching you need plus, being able to see other people who are in a similar situation to you get the coaching they need. When you learn all the stuff you need, plus things you didn't even realize were out there, and it's like, oh, gosh, I have that same problem. It happens every week in group or somebody's like, Oh my God, that's me too. But it only comes out because you're hearing someone else say it. And we're so used to doing it all ourselves, that's just not required. group coaching is quite literally the best investment, the best version of coaching out there. Because you get all the stuff you need. And all the stuff other people need. 

All in one handy dandy package. It is 20 weeks, we start the first week in February, you should join us. So if you want that come to the website, book a time to talk or send a message. And we'll start there. The other thing is if 2023 is the year you want to nail down selling, and you really want to figure this out, and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna figure out how to sell what I offer, I am going to get this right, I'm gonna get a sales process, I need a process. But you know what, you've tried all the processes, and you're like, they're so gross, I hate selling, I have the thing for you. Starting in March, I'm launching a class. And it's going to be so exciting because as a teacher, there's nothing I like better than a class. And it's called selling by giving. And we are going to learn selling without IQ. Because what I have found in my business, in two plus years of deciding that I was just gonna do it my way and then teaching other people to do it the same way, where we're not like cold messaging people where we're not selling things to people who don't want them. 

We're not convincing anybody of anything. We're not, you know, extra anything, we're not doing it like that. It's just not required, we're not attached to it, we're not giving people stuff they don't need, it is an entirely different way to look at it. It feels a million times better and it works like crazy. So starting in March, it is a 15 week class, because here's the thing, learning is great, but doing is better. And what we're going to do is not just learn how to sell by giving but implement it because you know what, there's no point in taking the class if you're not going to use this stuff. So it is going to be the safe place for you to implement experiment and ask all your questions along with learning with other people which is magic in a facilitated way.

 Because like yo I know how to teach and I know how to coach and this is the best of both. So if selling is your thing this year and you want in, you can go to Torpey coaching.com forward slash workshops and get all the details and sign yourself up sooner is better. There's also a scholarship application there. So take a look. Alright, so let's talk about how to find clarity. 

This episode, honestly, I think is gonna be pretty short and sweet. It is something. So the first thing I want to say is this finding clarity applies in all the areas. This process I'm about to lay out has three steps. And it applies to whatever you need to clarify. Your messaging, your pricing, your marketing your audience, what you do, who you serve, what you don't do whatever it works in all of the areas, this is not a complicated process, it applies. You know, if you need clarity in a relationship, it's going to work there, too, it's going to work everywhere, because it is a simple process.

 Here's the thing. Step one is what you've been doing is writing down all the things, you're going to write down all of your ideas. But what you're doing now that you're going to stop is you are going to stop judging them, you are going to stop right not writing down the ideas, you don't think you're good enough, you're going to write down all the ideas, all of them every last one, and you are not going to judge any of them as wrong. You are not going to judge any of them as confusing. They are all just your ideas and you can like them. It's cool. There's nothing wrong with you having ideas that maybe don't all fit in the same bucket together. Okay, who cares. They're all yours. 

That's what makes them you. So you're gonna write down all of the ideas. If you are working on clarity, clarity in your niche, for example, you're gonna write down everything you can think of about your niche, the questions you have the ideas, who you want to serve, who you might serve, what the problems are all that just get it all out of your brain onto paper. Okay. And then you can kind of sort through it. But here's the thing, step one, this writing down, this is the pre work, this is not the actual work, this is the problem and the process as we normally do it. What we are taught in school, by society, by the salespeople is that we have to work out our messaging and our marketing and our plan. And then we can go talk to people, we have to know it all. First, we have to know all the answers before we take the test, right? Here's the problem.

 That doesn't work. Right? We cannot know all the answers before we take a test, we cannot study our way to clarity, we have to do, right, if you are learning a new skill, like imagine you're learning to write poetry. You don't just read poetry, and then magically write like an award winning winning poem. Like that's not how this works. You have to read poetry, learn poetry, and then you write poetry and you write terrible poetry. And then you get feedback, and you mess with it and you try some stuff. And then you write more.

 Not so terrible poetry, but probably still kind of terrible. And then you try again, and then you try again, and you share it and you work on it. And you don't just do it in a vacuum, right? Here's the thing.

 Step two is that step two is the iterative process of sharing. So in step two, and this is the part we don't like, we got to go talk to people. Go talk to people, this is the actual step of finding clarity. Because if you're just writing it all down, it's never going to get clear. It's the reading, right? That's the reading poems. It's the studying. That's not how we get clarity. We got to move our pencils, we got to open our mouths. So go talk to people, maybe you go talk to a trusted colleague or a friend and you say like, here's what I'm thinking. Maybe you go talk to a total stranger, you go to networking, you introduce yourself in a new way. Maybe you schedule some one on ones with people and you say like here, I just want to throw some ideas at you. You know, will you give me some feedback? Maybe you tell your partner or your kids or your neighbors or whatever, maybe you tell all of them. Maybe you hire a me. And you say, Sarah, I'm working on clarity. Let me tell you what I'm thinking. And we'll talk about it and we'll like, poke at it and prod at it. Here's the thing, you have to test it out. And I know your brain is like, ooh, gosh, that's not the way to do it. 

You're wrong. I'm going to confuse people. Or somebody's not going to like what I have to say, I'm going to say it wrong. Right? Like, or I'm going to sound stupid. Or oh my gosh, all the iterations of that. Absolutely. All of that is true. I'm not going to sugarcoat it you will say something dumb at some point. I have said so many dumb things. You will have somebody that you tell them what you're thinking and they look at you if that like puppy dog had a head tilt and you're like, oh God, they didn't get it. 

Okay, you're going to have somebody not like it and be like that's a terrible idea. And often they're going to be somebody close to you. Because those are the people that tell us when our that our ideas are terrible even when they're not. They have the most judgment to pass right And they're the ones we care about. Because if a stranger is like, that's terrible idea, you're like, No, it's not. I don't care what you think I don't know you. So you have to go talk to people.

 And you have to take the risk that something might be confusing to someone else. That's actually how you get clarity. You're like, Oh, God, I said it like this. And it didn't make any sense to them. Hmm. Now what? So step two is opening your mouth, sharing words, writing them on the internet, writing the post, doing the video, saying it all the ways say it all the ways to all the people, the more you say it, the more you share it, the more you poke at it, the more you get feedback, the clearer you're gonna get, the more you're gonna be like, oh, and when I say it like that, people really notice. 

Or like that introduction, people just sort of like went Uh huh. And it didn't connect. You need the people part though, for to find if it connects like, you can't do that in your own head. And then step three is to reflect it is to do a very intentional version of like, Hmm, how'd that go? Because here's the thing. We can do it all in our heads, we write it all down. And then we can go and say it. But if we never pause and reflect, we don't learn anything. Right? You know, this teachers know this. Helpers know this givers know this parents know this, if your kid does something the same way. 10 times and you ever say like, Hey, have you thought about ways to do that make it a little easier on yourself? They're like, No, I just do it the hardest way possible. And you're like, Okay, well, okay. But we can continue to beat our head into the wall. Or we can occasionally stop and go like, huh, how'd that go today? What did I get out of it? You know, it might be as simple as just going like, what did I learn from this? Sometimes I introduced myself at networking even now. 

And I'm like, what did I learn from this? I learned that the people who probably aren't my people really responded. Or the people who are my people responded, or people were confused, because people asked me questions later. Or it really resonated, because somebody looked at me and was like, we have to connect, right? Like, I gotta, I gotta capture that for myself and think like, what did I learn here? Right. And, you know, one of the simple tools, I was sharing this with a client the other day, you know, as a teacher, I used to do exit tickets with kids, before they walked out of the classroom, they'd have to write me a little note. And often the format we used was two stars in a wish. 

So basically, like, they'd get a little piece of paper, they'd write down, they draw two stars, and then it would be two things they got from the experience from the learning today, two things they learned. And the wish would be either a question or something they they didn't get that they needed. Here's the thing, you could do the same thing. Every time you talk to someone, you can write down two stars in which two things you learned from the connection from sharing from, you know, talking to people about your niche, or your marketing or your pricing or whatever. And then one thing that you're like, Hmm, maybe I'll do that different next time. Or I wish I had said, or I wish I could figure out, or I wonder if, right, if you're working in this way, every time you do it, you get a little clearer. 

And then suddenly, one day you're like, oh, actually, I kind of know what I do. Hmm, that's weird. And listen, the other thing that happens, and I think you should know is clarity is a process, not a destination, we think like, it's like getting to the grocery store. One day, I'm going to be clear. That's it's like, it's like also one day, I'm going to be perfect. Those things are not things, we can get more and more clear over time. And then the stupid thing that happens to us is, as we get more clear, we then want to try new things, and they feel unclear. 

So there's always going to be something in your business or your work or your life that feels murky, because it's new. All right, that's fine. Now you know how to do the process of clarity. Go do that. So go try it. Go play with it. If you have feedback for me. Share it, I love it. Like if you're like this is a terrible episode. This didn't help me at all, send me a message and say so. Or if it's like, oh, you know what I was thinking about this differently, or I have this idea. Send me your two stars in a wish. I'd love to see them. And if you're looking for coaching, if you're like, Ha, I need what she's doing, I need her send a message. Let's talk about it. I have room in group. I have a tiny, tiny bit of room and one on one right now. And you know, there's lots of ways for us to figure this out together. I always am here to help. And finally, friends. Clarity is where we end up when we're practicing. We just keep practicing. We just keep practicing. We just keep practicing. And then as soon as we have clarity. We walk past it, and we keep going. So for you, your real job here is to just keep going. It's just keep showing up. Just keep talking to people, and just keep doing the things and I promise.

 That is how we find success. If I can be of use to you, great. Feel free to reach out if you're in my Facebook group, great if you're not come on and play with us. It's called uncomplicated business for teachers helpers and givers just like this podcast and who deep breath. If you liked this podcast, I would love for you to subscribe if this episode is useful, I would love for you to be a subscriber. It helps more people find this podcast if you want to leave a review that would be amazing. 

Or if you want to share this episode with a friend that you're like, you need this. We all have those. I have friends that send me stuff sometimes and they're like, You know what, you should read this book, or you gotta listen to this thing. Feel free to share it. I would love to have you do that, the more people I can be of use for the better. Thanks so much. I'll see you next week.