UNcomplicating Business for Teachers, Helpers, and Givers

The Secret for Creating Know-Like-Trust as a Business Owner

Sara Torpey Season 2 Episode 34

One of the simplest 'rules' out in the business world is that people have to know, like, and trust you in order to buy from you. It seems simple... but also, how do you actually GET people to know, like, and trust you - especially since we can't just MAKE people do those things, right? This week on the podcast I'm sharing the secret for creating know-like-trust as a business owner. And? It's not nearly as difficult as you've been making it! Listen on for all the goodness!





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Welcome, welcome to this episode of the podcast. Let's talk today about know, like and trust. So, this is one of those sort of simple rules out the business world, right? It's the thing you hear all the time? Well, you have to be, you have to have that know, like, and trust factor, right? Like you have to have people know, like, and trust you in order to do business with you. And as a human being, and as a business owner, that makes a lot of sense to me, right? Like, that's right. 

People have to know who you are, they have to not be offended by you. Right? They, they have to be willing to connect with you. And, and they have to believe you're going to do something to help them, right, in order to buy from you in order to work with you in order to become a client or become a customer.

 And one of the things, you know, that happens out in the business world is this know, like and trust thing, actually is one of the things that I've kind of, as a business owner, myself tried to sort of put to the side, even though I know it to be true. I don't often talk about it that way, because it feels like an external process, right? I can't make people know me. I can't make people like me, I can't make people trust me. This is the way I think about it. Because knowing liking and trusting are not me things, they're external to me. And I can't make people do stuff. 

So for me, as a business owner, it sort of feels kind of funny to think a lot about something I can't make other people do, which maybe is a place you get stuck to. So it makes sense that in order for people to do business with me, they have to know like, and trust me, but then like, how do I actually do that? If I can't make people and here's the thing, know, like and trust because it's such like a business commandment, as it were, it's like the best word I can come up with. It becomes something people try to force. And you know this, because you have experienced somebody trying to force know, like and trust on you. If you know, even without realizing it. So all the like, weird sales messages that you get that are like, 

Hey, friend, I have this perfect thing for you like the weird slimy DMS, the interestingly familiar emails, I have this email series going somebody put me in their automation recently, and I keep getting them I haven't stopped because they're just so like, holy cow. But it's this guy. And he's like, Oh, Sarah, like he's so very familiar about all I think he's trying to act as if I trust him already. And the result because I don't know who he is. I don't know him, and I'm pretty sure I don't like him is certainly that I brought him. Right. So he's acting as if I already do all three and the result feels gross. So you have run into cases where someone is trying to manufacture this. You can't force this. Because when people do, it's when we get into that whole like slimy salesy thing that none of us want to be like, I just want to help people. 

I don't want to make people feel grossed out when I'm like, hey, I can help you. And I'm like making weird faces and sounding strange like it. So if we can't force them to know like, and trust us, and we can't force the process of know, like and trust, we can't just be like, I'm going to pretend they trust me. What do we actually do? Here's the thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. What know like and trust really means if we just think about it in different words, is that you have to be seen, you have to be heard. 

And you have to be valued. Right. And I think particularly for the women in the business world, those are three really interesting things sometimes, because in order to be seen, to be heard, and to be valued, we as business owners, as women as people need to believe that it is safe for us to be seen, heard and valued, that we are worth worthy of being seen, heard and valued, that we have something worthwhile to give to people that they want to see, hear and value, and that we have intrinsic value that is worth putting out into the world. So here's the thing, if you don't believe me, if you're not sure, that you should be seen, that you should be heard, or that you have something of value to give, it's gonna be pretty flippin difficult to create know, like trust. 

No, like trust is an external thing. And what it has to start with is an internal thing. And that is believing in our value. If you, as a business owner, believe that you have something valuable to give people that you have expertise, that is going to benefit other people, that you have service that is going to be useful to them, then knowing that you have that value, enables you to want to be seen, right? If I have something that's important that I feel like is really going to help you as a business owner, I am willing to stand up and say, 

Hey, I have this for you. And have you seen me so that I can help you. I am willing to stand up and say hey, I have this thing for you, I think it's going to help, I'm willing for you to hear me. Because I know that there's something valuable here to be shared. And that has to happen. Before you can do know, like trust. Because if you're not willing to be seen, you can't be known. If you're not willing to be heard, you can't be known. If you're not willing to be visible, they can't know you, if they don't know you, they can't like you. And it's pretty hard to trust somebody who's a mystery to you. So as a business owner, this starts with us internally, thinking about our value. For me, the way I think about selling particularly in in selling as giving and always being giving. 

I think about this part as grounding. Like I believe sales works by grounding, connecting and inviting. And this no like trust piece begins with us grounding ourselves, we have to as business owners, it's really useful to sit down in our value and know we have something worth giving. Because if you don't think you have something worth giving, like what are we doing, right? Of course you do. You may question it. Like I have a client that I was talking to this morning. And she was like, you know, I don't know if this thing I'm building as a business. 

But what's really interesting is that she constantly has friends and loved ones and connections, reaching out to her to introduce her to people who need her. She gets all kinds of referrals. And she has people who offer to help her in all these kinds of interesting ways. She has a friend at this point, who has invited her into her video studio to record some videos, they're going to do the work for free, because they believe in her that much. And what I said to her today was like maybe you don't know how valuable what you have is. 

But everyone around you does. And it is okay to think like, huh, these people around me really have been leaning into their belief in me. They really think I have something here. And as I told her today, like your friends aren't dumb. Like you're not hanging out with dumb people. Right? So do you think your friends are smart? She's like, Oh, my God, they're all brilliant. I love them all. They're all so good at what they do. And I was like, so do you think their belief in you is misplaced? Because if you think they're really smart people, then obviously you have to then come to the conclusion that they see something in you. 

They're smart and they see something in you. Can you lean on that?
She was like, Oh, interesting. So maybe you're not certain. But I would 100% guarantee you. There are people in your world who are if you need to lean on them to start with and use that to begin the process. practice of, I have something valuable to share, and I'm willing to be seen. My client has something valuable to share, she helps families, she helps parents, she does amazing things. And people are willing to support her, so that more people can see her. That's the beginning of building know, like trust. But we cannot make people know like, and trust us, we have to start inside. Once we, as business owners think like, Okay, I have something valuable to share, the next step is showing up. 

The next step is showing up. So like, I have this thing, I know, it's really useful, I am willing to be seen and heard. So I'm gonna go out and be seen and heard. And then I'm just gonna know that showing up and being seen and heard is enough. This is literally my entire business model. Right here, this is giving, I show up, I try to be of use to other people. And then I do the next thing that has created a thriving business. I know people are like, well, but that's not gonna work yet is because of I show up, knowing I have value and not expecting anything of anyone else. I don't care if you buy for me or not, I care that you get what you need. Sometimes people buy from me, sometimes they don't, that's fine. 

Not everybody's gonna buy from me. And I don't want them all to because I want to sleep at night. I love my business. I want it to grow. And also I want boundaries. So for me, the showing up in the serving and the doing is enough. But it's much easier to trust a person of process a business, who's going to show up either way. Right. And I don't know if I realized it until, you know, I had been doing it for quite a while that people trust the way I do things because I'm not chasing them. I am not trying to manufacture know like and trust. 

You do not have to manufacture, know, like and trust. You can ground yourself in what you're amazing at because you're amazing at things. Be willing to be seen and heard. And then show up out in the world. And keep doing that. That is the secret to this. Know, Like and Trust will happen. When you are doing your part. You have to do the internal work. We all have to do the internal work, damn, I do the internal work every flippin day. Because every day, there's some little voice in my head that's like, Nope, you're not any good at this, this is not going to keep working. This is just a giant fluke. And I have to sit back down and like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I help people. I make a difference. And I'm just going to show up today and make a difference for somebody. That's it. You do that? That's what you do anyways. So how about you just let that be that. And you just keep showing up. And you know what?

 Guess what comes out of that? Know, Like and Trust. So for me for you. First we ground. First we sit in our expertise. And then the rest goes out into the world. You have value. Start from that. That's the secret to creating know, like and trust, knowing that you are valuable as a human, and that you have valuable knowledge and expertise to bring out into the world. If you have questions about this podcast, ask, send me an email come into my Facebook group. It's called uncomplicated business for teachers helpers and givers. I would love to have you be a part of that world.

 Because really, I just want to help you. So come play with us. Come find me on LinkedIn, send a Facebook message, whatever. If you want to learn to sell in this way, if it would be really if you're like, ah, sounds great. Don't know if it's possible it is. This is what we do in coaching. There's lots of ways to do this together, you can come to one on one coaching, you can come to group coaching, which kicks off again in September, and October. So like new groups gonna happen in the fall, or you can join selling by giving which is exactly this. Starting with grounding, starting with knowing your own value, and then moving into practicing how we connect and then how we invite people into our work from there.

 Because that's how we create know like and trust without all the slime. Truly. That's how it works. And I want you to be able to do that because it's worth it. So If you have questions, reach out. If you love this episode, please share it. We'd love to have it go to more people. And if you are a fan, or if you're like, okay, and you want all of the concepts come directly to you, I'd love to have you follow on whatever platform you're listening to, or on YouTube, this is all on YouTube to please come like this is you following you writing a review or you sharing it as all about how more people find it and I'd love to have that