10 Life changing thoughts from 2020

Hello! So this week we're going to talk about 10 thoughts that are really changed my life in business in 2020. These are the thoughts that have helped me to create really a truly thriving business from nothing from zero in less than a year. And these are the thoughts that I have used, tell my clients create their own thriving businesses and the thoughts that have kept me sane, and less than senior. So remember that this isn't my first business. But this is by far the business that have done the most with in the shortest period of time. And these are the thoughts that really helped me do that. So I'm going to share not only how these thoughts have helped me, but also how you might apply them in your own life and business starting, like right now. Maybe before we head into 2021. And maybe there are thoughts on this list that will be really useful for you like me. So I'm going to go backwards, I'm going to start at number 10. For me, number 10 is the thought I know exactly what to do and how to do it. This one came to me from my coach last year, her name is Samantha Siffiring. And this for me was permission, it was really permission to myself, to be able to just figure things out my way that I don't need to consult all the experts, I don't need to read all the books, I know exactly what to do and how to do it. The corollary the sort of like, secondary thought underneath this is very much I'm going to figure this out. And that's truly one of the driving thoughts in my whole life has always been like no matter what I know, I'm going to figure it out. Like, I don't believe that I there, there's anything I can't learn or figure out. So this idea that I know exactly what to do and how to do it. It's just sort of building on that. So for you take a minute and think about it. What if you actually believe that you had all the answers you needed to move forward to make the next step? What would be different, could be a lot of things, right? Number nine is that is the thought that success is safe. Now, that might sound crazy to you. But this was a really big one for me. And it is another one that came directly out of my work from with Samantha. And it was really useful for me because I have this internal push pole. That I think lots of people that I've heard from clients and friends and colleagues, lots of people particularly coming to the business world, from the education world have, where we want to help, like our guiding sort of heart centered mission in life is to be held to be all help. And I and we don't necessarily feel like helping equals money. So the idea of making money for helping for me really scrambled my brain of it. This, this idea that being successful, I could, it could be safe for me to be successful that making money and more of it than like I would have made as a teacher, maybe lots more is not only just okay, but it's safe. It's like not hurting anybody. And it's an effective use of my time and energy. I can make a case now, after like sitting with this soft for most of the year, I can make the case now that being successful, is literally the safest thing that I can use. But it's safer for me, for my clients, for the people I touch on this podcast and my Facebook group, for my family, for my friends, for my loved ones, success is safe. That's a really big idea. The next one is one that I've had for a long time. It comes out of my math teacher brain a little bit. So it's number eight. And the thought is, I am an expert problem solver. And it is truly one of those things, those core things that I believe about myself. I know that I know how to solve problems, period. Bring me a problem. We'll figure out a solution might not be the perfect solution the first time out of the gate, but we'll figure it out. And it comes right back to that like I will figure it out. But the idea of thinking of myself as an expert problem solver. Like that's the thing to be like you could be an expert in problem solving. really helped me to define my value for clients. And how I serve them really helped me to have all kinds of confidence because I know, like down the tips of my little toes that I am an expert problem solver. And then I have all the tools, I need to figure out how to solve my problems in business, but also to help clients solve their problems. Like, I don't think that someone's going to bring me a problem and be like, oh, shoot, there we go, never going to be able to fix that one might as well just quit. Like, that's not going to happen. Here's the thing for you. People who teach classroom out of classroom, never in a school building in school building doesn't matter. You're trained problem solver. Teaching is problem solving on the fly, sometimes, like literally by the seat of your pants, period. It is what you do all day in any sort of teaching. So if you're coming into the business world from education, this is a really useful thought to base things on for you that like, I've never met a problem I can't solve this core business is really the same as the core of teaching. It's all just solving problems one at a time as they come up, hopefully ahead of time, period. So you already are an expert problem solver. Like, that's a lovely thing to think about yourself. Number seven is one that really has changed how I meet people, and how I network. And I know networking is kind of a dirty word. That's a whole separate conversation. The thought is, I am not perfect, but I can be perfectly present. I'm going to say it again, I'm not perfect. But I can be perfectly present. This really changed all kinds of things for me. Like, I would go to networking, or I would sit one on one if somebody's new to me on zoom or in person when we used to do that. And I would worry about how to introduce myself what I should say how I should say it. Like, is that my right elevator speech? Like, are they going to get the point? Or do I ask them? How do I talk to them, like what the heck, like all the awkward wallflower new at anything kinds of worries, this thought changed at all. Because what really matters most in networking in meeting new people and talking to people about what you do, is that you are present period, that you show up like a human being. So this was really me getting permission. Like I don't know, the perfect thing to say, I don't have the perfect introduction still, right now. Like I just don't, I don't have the exact elevator speech it comes it goes sometimes better than others. But what I can be is fully present. I can listen, I can ask questions, I can show up and I can connect. And that is the whole point. And I will tell you, I know from personal experience, I know from watching my clients do this enough, it works. I will say the next episode, or in the next couple episodes somewhere, is going to be a deeper conversation about networking. Because I have no other thoughts to talk about in this list. There's six more to go. And really, there's a lot to share about this idea of networking. So keep your eye out for this one in the next couple of weeks. All right. Number six, is one of my favorites. And it comes out of meditation. The thought is it is simple and easy. I am simple and easy. So around this time last year, in December last year of 2019, I committed to a daily meditation practice. So I don't I came a little bit for me out of the book 10% happier if you read that. Love that book. And I use that app for meditation. And so it's something I spend somewhere between three and 10 minutes on most days. I'll be honest, like I like really committed to this and am thankful because 2020 turns out to be the year I needed it. And I think I've probably missed, you know, no more than 12 or 15 days all year. But in the app, there are sessions that you can do over and over and over again. And one of them that I use again and again is about being simple and easy. We're human. We're human membranes, we like to make things complicated. I like to make things complicated. And for me this thought is time and time again, a reminder that life is and can be simple and easy. I get to choose that path. I don't have to make it hard for myself, I don't have to make it hard for my clients. I don't have to make it also complicated. I can allow it to be simple. I can make it easy. And that the good things in life success, joy, happiness. Cooking is like they don't have to be hard. They can be simple, and they can be easy. Okay, so that's hack. Number five is one of a couple thoughts in here about time. I have had all the thoughts about time. I am linear thinker. In a lot of ways. I like my planner. I like my time managed. I like my calendar. I like all the things. So this thought number five is that overwhelm is a choice. I hear you starting to freak out a little bit. This is one of the things that I've had to work on all year long, the way I think about time, I have really changed how I approached just time as a human in the last year. So like you I do a lot of things. I have two businesses, I have two kids, I have a puppy. I teach a couple college courses a semester, I have friends, I occasionally like to work out I eat I try to sleep. And one of the default feelings that comes with all that is completely overwhelmed. And that's something I carry around. At some point this year over the summer, actually, someone said to me, yeah, but that's a choice you're making, being overwhelmed as a choice. And I was like, ah, why? Wait, no, like, I don't choose that. Like I just am. No, no, no, no, no, I wouldn't do that to myself. But actually, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I did and I do. I am overwhelmed is a thought. It's something I think that then makes me feel like I'm drowning and crazy. But if I don't think that thought, I don't feel like that It's crazy. At the time, my coach suggested to me that another thought instead is I have plenty of time. It is an alternative to I am overwhelmed. For me, it is not my favorite. Because it feels like it's fake. Sometimes, like I don't have plenty of time I want crapload of things going on. But one of the thoughts that I've had, that I think really does help me, besides overwhelmed, the choice is, there's more than enough time to do the things that truly matter. That is 100% something I can believe, like I have enough time to get done the things that really matter. And the things that don't get done don't matter. Like that's just the way it is. So if you have lots of thoughts about time, and one of the ways you know, this is if you have lots of shoulds in your head, you shouldn't be doing this, you should be doing that. Or you just carry around a lot of overwhelm this one thinking about overwhelm as a choice in thinking about, you know, having plenty of time to do what matters are really ones that you might think about, you know, playing around with. Knowing that your current thoughts about time or choices is crazy. That was a huge realization for me this year. And I was like, Whoa, it took me a while to even believe could be true. But once I did, I was like wow. And I'll be honest, like overwhelmed is something that I don't really get anymore. It happens but it's like very short lived. It's not days and months and weeks of feeling like I'm drowning and crazy. Okay, so number four is really straightforward. This is what I was actually surprised how much it came up for me in my notebooks over the course of the last year. And I went and look share my notebooks before this episode. Um, the thought is I am capable. My people are capable. It's, it's really that simple. It's a thought I repeat, it's almost kind of like a little mini mantra. I am capable. You are capable. Everyone I work with is capable. We all can. This is something that really for me comes down to sort of my teacher heart. I really inherently believe that all humans mean you are inherently capable of doing whatever the hell we set our minds to. Like whatever you want to be able to figure out how to do like if I decide I want to be astronaut and I really commit to that, like, I want to go be an astronaut. I don't doubt myself not at all. It might take me 15 years, and I might never see my family again. But like, if I want to be an astronaut, astronaut, I don't think there's anything you can't accomplish. And it's something that really pulls me out of frustration. What I'm like looping around frustration in my brain, because it's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a damn it. I am capable. And if I'm capable, I'm going to figure this out. It's just a matter of time. Right? It's something that keeps me plugged into how amazing people are. Because people are amazing, we do amazing things, because we're capable of them. So for you, I think it's really useful to remind yourself that just at the most basic level, you are capable of whatever the heck you want to be capable. For me, I don't put any like end point on that I just say I'm capable. For you, it might be something that you're thinking you're not capable of that you need to switch that thought around. Right? Okay, so number three is yet another thought about time. You see, there's another one, this one really relates a little bit to faith framing of it. So the thought is, I am right on time. Like I am right on time. I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe like wholeheartedly, that we're all on a path. And that the path we're on is the path we belong on. It's where we're meant to be. And at any given moment, we're right where we belong on the path. So like, whatever it is, I'm doing right now. I'm right on time for, I can't be behind, even though sometimes I like to think I am. Because it's not possible to be behind. You can't be late for your own future. I think it's an Oprah Whoa, I couldn't find it to attribute it. But like, keep in mind, like, that's the thing, you can't be late for yourself. You're not behind, you're right on time. So if you're constantly living in the land of should, and always thinking well, but I should be further along. That's thinking you're behind let's just a thought about time. And the antidote to that is that you are right on time, you're exactly where you're meant to be. The second thought, and the first one, really, when I get to it are sort of newer ones for me, but they really have changed the last few months for me. One of them number two, is that I own my ambition. This is really like an evolved version of success is safe. It's like successes safe on steroids. But this is like the souped up version. Because I know now that success is safe. And I also know that I am ambitious, like I have big goals. But the only way for me to actually get where my ambition wants to go is for me to step into that and be like, yep, these are my goals. I'm not going to hide from them. I'm not going to shy. I'm not going to not tell people what they are. So ownership for me is about singing it out loud. It's about being brave enough to say to people, hey, I'm a business coach, this is what I do. And I know that I can help you. I'm going to change the world. for teachers who are in business. I know 100% for sure, I can help you because it's what I do. And it's about being open to my dreams and not just counting them as silly. Because when I look at my goal, you know, there are times where I brain is like you have lost your mind. Like I have a $300,000 goal for 2023 if not sooner, and I think it's going to be sooner. But because my goal is not small, I can't be either. So I don't get that goal unless I own it. And the ambition that comes with it. So for you, what would it look like to own the ambition you're carrying around inside of you, but one you might not even want to acknowledge? Like it's okay to be ambitious, it's safe. It is okay to fully own that. Okay, and here's the last one. This is my number one lately. For the last couple of months. It's comes from like a genius colleague of mine and my mastermind Her name is Serena Hicks. She's like legit amazing. And the thought is, I trust myself. My process and my timing complete. Whoa. So it's like all the things I've worked on all year wrapped up into one like pretty little package. One of the things I've been working out since joining, the mastermind I started in the fall was really trusting myself and my decisions, my ideas, not sitting in the loop of like, well, should I do it like this? Or should I do it like this? And like actually deciding stuff. This thought that I trust myself, my process and my timing completely, but really helps me to just go like, Oh, well, if I trust myself, my process and my timing, not only am I right on time right now, but whatever it is I'm doing is the right thing, because this is my process. I trust myself. So like, what the heck am I so ramped up about questioning? It's really helped me to think about what it means to trust myself in my business. My process is mine doesn't have to look like anybody else's. My timing is mine. I do what I want what I meant to do it, that's all good. And then like, there's a bonus thought here. Actually, I just thought of now, that comes from another one of my mastermind colleagues. Her name is Janet Dalgleish. She's amazing. I just probably murdered her last name. But at one point, a couple of months ago, one of the things she suggested in the group was a thought. I am always someone I'm someone who always receives delightful surprises. And I like this one for me is amazing. Because for like three weeks, I walked around fighting it. I was like, No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. And I got irritated with myself. And I finally thought like, Okay, how could that be true. And holy hell it was. I am someone who always receives delightful surprises like, this is a way to pay attention to the good in your day, like a little bits of good flying at you all the time. The more you notice them, the more they turn into, like big bits of good, like, it's kind of amazing. It's really helped me to focus on the good and see all the little delights in my day to day. And acknowledging them has really changed just my outlook all the way around. So there's 11 bucks, that you can use to walk into 2021, you can keep them, you can modify them, you can make your own, you can use them for inspiration, you can check them off the window and start fresh. But what matters is you have things to ground you to hold on to as you pursue your ambition in the new year. And I would be remiss not to mention, like you are someone who is building business, and we're coming at it from the world of education, or from a teacher mindset. And you need direction, you get stuck, you aren't sure you're having trouble making decisions, or really, you just want to reach the next level, like things are going well, but you like really want to have that ambition and you want to just kill it out there. I can help I coach business owners who come to the world when their eyes open to sort of the teacher way of seeing it. And I work with them to leverage their best skills, the things that are always going well, the things they've already got, the things they're good at, to turn them into. Money, ambition, growing business to thrive based on them, like we don't reinvent the wheel. We take the wheels you've got and we make them work really freakin well. And we're very practical in the process. So if I can help you if this is exactly what you need in the new year, send a message. Let's talk you can book your own hour online at my website which is Torpey t o r. p as in Peter e y coaching com or you can send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn or send me an email. It's sara@torpeycoaching.com. And if you are not in my Facebook group, I have lots of fun stuff planned for the new year in my Facebook group, which is also called teachers in business. So if you're not in you should be come join us there. All right, happy ending 2020 and welcome to 2021 See you next week!