Welcome, welcome to this episode of uncomplicated business.
I'm so happy you're here. Today we're going to talk about becoming someone new. This is a big deal, right? When you decide to start a business or start something new, even if you decide to start a new hobby, really what you're doing is becoming a new version of yourself evolving into this new person.
It's hard enough to learn to do the things. But while we're learning to do the things, we're also shifting into this new sort of I imagine it like, like getting a whole new closet of clothes, right? It takes time to accumulate that new closet of clothes. If you're like me, it takes like, forever.
On this episode we're going to talk about is six. What I think of as fairly straightforward tips for navigating, what essentially is identity change at becoming someone new, particularly if that identity you're stepping into is that of a business owner, so that this process can work more easily. You can buy it at less, you can normalize the tricky parts. And you can also feel good about the growth and get the growth you want in your business faster. Because it is really hard to grow a business that you haven't really admitted you have yet, where you haven't stepped into the role of leader or business owner, it's really hard for people to buy from you.
If you haven't admitted yet, that you are the person running the business, right. So in this episode, I want to share some of the things that have worked for me and also for many of my clients as they navigate this change. For me, that change was from teacher to business owner first. And also from teacher to business coach, I think those have been distinct shifts for me, because I have a business that predates my coaching practice, I have a product based business called extensions in the in the education world, and it is math and critical thinking and problem solving tasks. And I had to like wrap my head around the idea that I was allowed to own a business first. And then when I started my coaching practice, I had to wrap my head around the idea that I was allowed to be the one that helped people with this, I still, sometimes am wrapping my head around that. And I think that's part of this, that you're always going to be wrapping your head around it to a degree is because business ownership doesn't come with like a permission slip. It's not for me, at least as a teacher, they give you the certification, and they're like you belong. And you may not feel it right away.
Certainly I remember the first year teaching thinking like, oh my gosh, did they leave me in this room with these children. But, you know, you have the piece of paper that you sort of fall back on that's like, Okay, this is I'm allowed to do this. In business ownership, we don't get the piece of paper.
So you know, it's a little harder to fall back on that permission slip. And, you know, making the identity shift is a little more complicated, or at least it feels it. So for me, I see two distinct shifts in my work, first a business over owner period. And then to sort of the role I have in my business as coach. And as someone who has the ability to influence other people's businesses, especially for someone that like me, like I had to come to terms with like, I didn't go to business school, I don't talk about business or think about business in the same way as so many of the MBA folks, right, who you know, have all their acronyms and do all their things like I'm a much more practical, not that they're not practical. But I have a much more sort of homegrown version of that where I've learned the things that in, in business as I go in life, and now apply them like I didn't get them from business school.
So the first thing I want to say about identity shift and about this kind of stepping into a new version of yourself. It's almost like putting on a new shell, right? It's like those nesting dolls and you got one extra outside one and that's your new identity that contains all the other things you've ever been. Right. It's a really interesting way to picture that. As you shift into that new identity. I think the first thing and this is not necessarily one of those tips. This is just sort of the blanket starter idea is that it's okay. That this is hard. You're not the Oh Only one who struggles with this, you're not the only one who's ever going to struggle with it, you're not alone in it. It's not wrong for it to feel hard, it is not wrong for you to feel guilty. Right? A lot of times we feel guilty. Certainly the teacher, people I know feel guilty about leaving this teacher identity to become this other thing.
Because when you decide you're going to be a teacher, people assume that's forever, right? And maybe you even like, like I did, assumed it was forever. And now I decided to be something else. And that feels kind of bad. Right? Like, you've guilt there, you have guilt related to leaving and change, you have guilt about choosing something else for yourself about choosing something for yourself, maybe period. And what I can tell you is that the hard the heart of identity change, gets better with time and practice, like everything, and also may not ever entirely go away. For me, it hasn't. And I'm okay with that. I know that every now and then it pops up in a weird moment, like somebody will say something like the flood of Oh, my God, I don't belong here will happen or like, Who do I think I am, I'm just a teacher, that is the one that pops up in my head. You know, not all the time. But periodically, and that is part of the identity I you know, nobody is 100% Confident 100% of the time, and to expect that of ourselves is to ask something that isn't real. So it's okay, that this identity shifting part is difficult, and feels kind of weird, and feels really hard on the inside. And on the outside, you're sort of just making it through, right, because nobody can see what's going on and your feelings in your body from the outside.
Unless, unless you're like me and you wear them on your face a lot. Even then they don't know what's happening all the time. So if this is what you're navigating, and I think we all are all the time on some level, but particularly if you're navigating this identity shift from, you know, maybe not teacher, but if it's teacher then great into business owner into a particular title into CFO and a CEO into coach into whatever you're calling yourself. There's a couple of things that I think really help. Some of them are going to sound ridiculous, but they do make a difference. Right? Okay, so the first one is to really practice saying it out loud. This is something I tell people all the time, thank God, our cars are connected to our phones now because I drive around in the car. And I'm like, Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a business coach. And I did that for years, I still every now and then on my way to like a networking event. I'm like, Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a business coach, I work with these kinds of people.
This is the kind of things we do. And I will like run that through over and over and over again in my way so that by the time I get there, I just it feels better, right? Practicing saying out loud who you are and what you do, and who you're stepping into. matters. Because then when you have to, it's like when you're doing it by yourself. It's it can feel funny. But then when you're doing it with other people, it doesn't feel as bad. So my the car is the favorite, my favorite place for that. I also do it walking around the backyard and weeding in the garden. A lot of times when I'm doing that my family is off doing something else and I have my headphones in so it can be not weird if I'm just talking because somebody thinks I'm on the phone again. So practice it.
Practice saying who you are becoming. Because the sooner you can get it out of your mouth and feel good about it. Even if it's just yourself, the easier it will be because everybody else is gonna get faster than you were the last ones to get it. Or they're like, Well, of course you are your business coach, you're like, Whoa, I have. So just practice, say it out loud. Say it out loud, say it out loud. sounds goofy, but really does make a difference. The second thing that I find really helpful has helped me a ton over the years is to make a map. So you're currently doing some role. You have some job, you have some skill set. It really helped me my job my role was teaching to take those skills, list them all out and map them to my new role. Like how would you my teaching skills support me as a business coach? Why are teaching skills useful for business coaching? Why are teaching skills useful for business ownership? I have podcast episodes about this.
In Season One, I think it's 56 and 57. They they're like the teacher skills the transfer Are you into business? If it's teaching you're looking for if it's something else, I mean, you and I can talk about the skills, we can list them out and map them over, because tons of skills that you have mapped directly into business ownership, into coaching into whatever it is you're trying to do. But having that list to be like, Oh, okay, I do things now, that really do help me be this new thing that makes sense as I become this new thing. That are the reason I am becoming this new thing to have that like in black and white in your notebook makes a huge difference. Because it's, it's just verification, right? For me, it's always like, oh, yeah, I do belong.
So when my internal monologue is all about how I don't belong, I can use those lists to sort of re connect myself to like, no, no, it's okay for me to be becoming this person. And that makes a difference. The next one is, I know, you're not going to love this, because we've been talking about journaling a lot. Maybe you love it, maybe you don't, but like use your journal. I'm a big fan, even though I'm a reluctant journal or myself. But you know, there are questions like, Who am I becoming? What's working? What do I love about where I'm headed? Why am I choosing to become this next person? What is she like? What does she do? What does she not do? What does she let go of? Those questions help you to know how to do this next thing.
They help you to sort of think about intentionally, who you're becoming, and why and what you do and what you don't do. And having that at the front of your brain, rather than letting it be a total subconscious thing really makes a difference. Because it gives you a sense of control over the process, then, so often identity change feels so very light went out of our control. And this is about bringing the intention to it, and grounding it in like, Oh, I know who I am becoming, I want and you won't know exactly, but you'll give it some direction and some intention. And in doing that, it makes it clearer for you, and for the process. And that's lovely. Number four is to imagine the spiral staircase of drama. Now, bear with me a second picture in your head, a spiral staircase, and picture around the staircase vertical like rectangles.
I imagine them like walls, but you can imagine them like like like two by fours, right? Or even wider, right four by fours. So imagine them, making walls around the spiral staircase, right. And on each of those roles, each little four by four is some kind of drama. It's like, not feeling like you're enough, not feeling like you belong. Not knowing how to help people, not knowing what to say, not being a good business owner, not knowing what to do with your time, list them out, list all the ways you think you're failing, right? And know that those are all things you're going to run into over and over again. I have clients that say to me all the time, like, Oh, I was working on this. And I was thinking about money and pricing. And I thought and I was done with this, I thought I'd cracked this. And I had like gotten through the drama on this. And here it is again. But no actually know.
What you've done is you've we walk on the spiral staircase, we always walk up. This is the point. So what happens is maybe you're touching, maybe you're at the point on the spiral staircase, where you're like worried about not being enough for people. As you grow, what you do is you walk up the spiral staircase, and you hit that again, but at a higher level. So the next time you touch it, it's different and you are different. You're just touching it again, you're feeling not enough in a new and exciting way. It just is a reminder that, you know, we're going to have all the same doubts. They're just going to be evolved with us. Right. The doubts I had about myself as a business owner five years ago, are not the same doubts I have today. But that doesn't mean I don't have doubts. The not enough I felt five years ago as a business owner still exists. It just differently flavored. Right. It's I know more about what I have and how it helps. I have not enough in other ways, but it's still there. It's not ever gonna go away. And I'm okay I just get to know that I am touching it in a new place. And a new version of me is meeting it.
So that I'm better equipped, the higher I go on the staircase, the better equipped I am to handle the thing doesn't mean it's not going to come up and be a bother. And that's the same for you. Number four is to No, this is the thing, when you are making an identity shift, you are shifting, you are not starting from scratch. Like I cannot be more adamant on this one. This one makes me Cray Z. When people are like, Well, I'm gonna go into business and I'm starting over, I'm new at everything. no friend, no, you're not. You're not, you're not doing everything. I love you.
You're not, you have a billion skills and experiences and really smart thoughts and tools and strategies and ideas that you're bringing with you. You're not starting from scratch, you're not starting from nothing, you didn't empty out your brain on your way over, you are bringing a ton of stuff with you, that is going to help and serve you and make you even better. Right? Like I have way more skills today. If I started something new than I did when I was 20. But even then I had skills. I was never new. We never knew anything. We're always starting with something in our pocket.
So when you're becoming a new version when you're evolving, that's why I always think about it as like, I don't think about it as a new identity. I think about it as like any shifted identity when you're shifting into this new version. It's not new, it was here all along. Now you're just wearing it differently. It's like that sweater you find in your closet that you've had for three years. And suddenly you're like, I know what to do with that now. Or maybe that's just a me thing. Like, I'll get it. And it's super cute. And then it'll sit there for a really long time until I'm like, oh, that's how I wear that. Because clothes are not my strong suit. Right? And all sudden, I'll get some other thing that will like go with it. And it's like, oh, cool. I know how to do that. Now.
You're just growing into it. But you're never knew like, it's not the first day I wore clothes, it's going to be fine. You can do this. The last one, number six. And then there's like a bonus number seven. Number six is to know that identity shifts evolution of yourself in of who you are and what you're becoming takes the time it takes. I don't like it any more than you do. But you cannot become who you're meant to become wrong. There is no timeline that you're screwing up. There is no, there is no like being behind who you're who you are, that you can't be behind on that it just is. So you can just let it unfold the way it's unfolding. As I say to people all the time as a flower blooms like we don't yell Hurry up. Right, like that's rude, and also pointless.
That's what we're doing. We're the flower blooming, we bloom at the pace we blew, it is what it is. And we can ease it. By getting the things we need the rest, the fuel, the space, the kindness, right. Like if you deny the plant the nutrients in the sun, it's never gonna bloom. But if you give it all of the things that needs the water, the sun, the temperature, the soil, all that stuff, it'll bloom more effectively more often. But it the flowers don't unfold faster if you're mad at them. Right? It takes the time it takes, I don't like it, but it's true. And it's always ongoing. That's the other part of it. Like we're never done becoming who we're becoming, there's always little nuances of shift. They happen all the time here. They're gonna happen all the time to you. And there's nothing wrong with that. You can do this. The bonus here that maybe you'll see as a bonus and maybe you won't, is that self kindness is the ticket here. Like it really is. I wish I could tell you it was not
I wish I could be like and you can be mean about it. But I can't. The kinder you are to yourself like the best thing I ever learned as a business owners how to be nice to myself. That is truly going to be the lesson in business that I spent a year or three learning that will serve me the best for the rest of my life. How to be nice to yourself, when you're struggling when things are hard when change is happening, which is basically all the time is the biggest lesson the most valuable thing I have learned. Being nice to yourself, helps the process being mean to yourself. slows it down. I know that we think that being mean to ourselves moves things along faster.
But if that actually worked, we'd all be billionaires, and we're not. So for me for you, a little nicer, a little more grace, the grace that you extend to other people works for you too. And that's, this is how we do this. Hopefully, these tips helped make it a little bit easier, or at least make it a little more normal for you to feel like you're struggling as you change identity. There's nothing wrong with you. This is how it works. It's uncomfortable.
Justice. If I can be of help to you as you go, even if you just reach out and you're like, oh my god, this is hard. And I can be like, Yep, and you've got this. That's fine. You can send email, you can send a connection request, you can find me on LinkedIn or Facebook, you can come join my Facebook group, you can come join us and selling for weirdos because honestly, and selling for weirdos, what we do is in evolved into people who are really good at sales who enjoy it. If that's the next evolution of you, as a business owner as you step into someone who enjoys sales, that's another thing to evolve into. That's an identity shift right? From like, I don't know how to sell I'm not good at it to like I've got this.
That's a great shift to make in life to make that shift, come do it and selling for weirdos because that's where we do the best stuff. And if I can be of help to you in coaching, please just reach out. That's what I do. This is the kind of work I do with people and help them make the shifts into power and growth and consistency and confidence. And with more money. I help people make these shifts day in and day out in one on one in small group coaching comm let's do it together. But I can be of help just reach out and then I'll see you in two weeks.
