All of the Ways to Invite Someone to Work with You

Hello, I'm so happy to see you here are you on this episode of the podcast? Welcome, welcome. Welcome. Thanks for coming to play. Today we are going to talk about all the ways to invite someone to work with you. 

So this is for you. If you get stuck here, if you feel like there are both a million options, and no options all at the same time, if you struggle with the where, and the what and the how, I'm going to talk you through my favorite ways to invite some of my clients favorite ways to invite exactly what I say when I do it, and and how to make it simpler for you starting right now. 

Because what I know as a business coach, what I know from my business and all of the businesses I work in, and it was you know, more than 50 last year is that the more invitations you make, the more you talk about what you do, the more your business will grow. You can't sell something, if you're not talking about it, people can't buy what they don't know about. So making invitation simpler is a huge deal. If it's easier for you to share, it's easier for your business to grow. 

That being said before we jump in a couple of quick things first, if sales and selling is your monster, it's the thing that you hate the most if it feels weird, and icky, and you don't like your process or it feels really uncomfortable and you hate it and you just think you're going to have to grin and bear it for the rest of your business. I want you to know that that's not true. And I want you to come join selling for weirdos. Because selling for weirdos is a course it is self paced, it is run by me, it involves and includes one on one access to me in an asynchronous video tool where we get to talk together about where you get stuck in your struggles with sales. 

But it really is all about you finding your way, your own personal weirdo fabulous way to sales to a sales process that feels like you and you don't have to hate for the life your business is all about making selling simple. And so please, please, if sales is your thing this year come I invite you to join us it's at Torpey coaching.com, forward slash selling for weirdos with dashes in between selling and for and weirdos. 

So please come play with us. The other thing is my next round of small group coaching starts in March, we are going to do a tiny little experiment with group coaching this this spring, we're going to run it for a slightly shorter period of time, it's going to run 12 weeks. Because what I've seen in the last couple of years of group coaching is that the results happen faster than even I expect them to. It's always even a surprise for me, people are getting really great things happening for them in faster time. 

So I'm going to do a little experiment, we're going to do 12 weeks, it's going to be $2,000. It is capped at four people I already have one person in, if you want to join us in March, we're going to run March to June, please come play. group coaching is great for you. If you are really wanting coaching in an accessible way you love being in community, you want to learn with and from other people, but you also need what you need. Small group coaching is a great blend of that individual support. And that connected community and the growth all at the same time because I am not here for you to not get what you need. So if you want to know more about any of those things, or anything else, or coaching one on one, always just reach out. That is what I'm here for. And I'm happy to connect and really just like have a human conversation because that's what we do here.

 So let's talk invitations. First, before we go any further. I think there are three ways to three kinds of invitations that we make to people. We make hot invitations, which are like, you know, the person comes to us and says, I want this and you say okay, this is how you get it. We have warm invitations, which is like people in our world that know what we're up to, that have been following us whether we know it or not. And they're like, bright, and then we make cold invitations where it's just like hi stranger, I can help you. 

We're not talking about cold invitations today. We don't do that. Generally I don't do that in my business. I don't recommend it to people. We're not cold messaging. We're not cold anything. So we're not really talking today about strangers. Maybe they're strangers to you, but they're not strangers to your world. We're talking about the people that you know, and the people that those people know. So if you pat if you imagine like a dartboard. You are the bullseye. 

The people you know is the first circle out. The people they know is the next circle out we are in those three circles because most of your business is going to come that way. Especially if you're in a service based business, and that's okay, like somehow the holy grail of strangers from the internet. But I don't think that's right. So we don't need to stress about the Holy Holy Grail, we need to stress about, like connecting to the people we're already connecting to. So that's the first part. 

The second part is that before we talk about the actual invitations, there are some core assumptions. I always teach people in selling for weirdos, I teach a three step process, ground connect, invite, this is the grounding part of inviting without the grounding, invitation is really difficult. Because if you don't know these things about yourself, or you don't believe them, you're inviting people to maybe, and it's really hard to sell, like, imagine selling a party to somebody like throwing a party and be like, I think you should come to my party, it might be fun. But it might be awful. 

Nobody wants to come to that party fair, like maybe the food will be terrible. Or maybe there will be food at all. Like, that's not a great invitation. But if it's like, hey, during an amazing party, the food's gonna be great, you're gonna have so much fun, please come join us. It's a very different kind of energy. So there are some core assumptions that lead to simplifying invitations all the way around. They are, what I offer is valuable period. Knowing what you offer is valuable makes a difference. What I offer helps people, period, helps the people I know helps the people they know. 

Knowing that what you're doing is useful out in the universe, even if you're selling a product, you know, what you're selling helps them. They want it. It is something people want. I trust people to decide if it's a fit. Here's the thing, if you are trying to convince people to fit as you invite them, it's going to be weird, right? Like, it's like, the worst version of selling when somebody's trying to talk you into something we've all been in that spot where you're like is something's wrong here. And I don't know what that's because they're trying to talk you into it or trying to talk themselves into it. So you get to decide to trust people.

 For me, that is the most core assumption I trust people to do what is right for them. I trust people to decide if we are a fit. The next one is that people are curious about what I do. People want to know. It is much easier to invite from people want to know, versus people have already heard too much from me this week. I've said too much. I'm I'm too much for them. I'm bothering them. Very different. The next there's two more. 

The last second to last one is that no is an okay answer. Right. Nobody likes to hear no. But like in business, you hear yes. And you hear no? And if everybody said yes, it's a problem, actually. Because you don't have that kind of bandwidth. And that's a different kind of thing to scale. And if everybody says yes, something's wrong, right? It's like if your kids are 100%, happy with everything you do, something's wrong. I'm clearly doing something, right. Because my 12 year old has not been happy with me lately, but whatever. And then the last one is that making an invitation making an offer, does not mean that I am owed a response. So here's the thing that's tricky about this one. 

A lot of times we feel like if we particularly send a personal offer to someone they have to they should respond. And we get caught up in this cycle of expectation. But if I make an offer that they didn't necessarily ask for, or even if they did, they don't owe me anything. They don't have to respond. So it is I trust people to decide if it's a fit and respond when they're ready. And if they haven't responded, it's because they had a reason not to write, but I don't need to get caught up in that. It's a really tricky one. So for you, if these core assumptions sound like gibberish, or you're like, oh, no, I don't think what I have is valuable, or I'm not sure. Or I don't know if I trust people to decide, or I freaked me out to hear no, there's some grounding work for you to do first here. It's okay. You can do it as you make the invitations. But it is important for you to keep in mind that there's some work to be done in how you set your brain and your mindset towards making invitations.

 Okay, so now that we have some core assumptions made, we get to go out and we're going to invite like crazy. So there are three versions of invitation that we're going to talk about today. Online, so like the socials, email, which I think is different than online, and person to person. So I'm going to take them each at a time online in social Media, we can do a whole bunch of kinds of offers, I can make a direct offer, this is the one, you should make more of that we should all make more of when we don't do enough of, here's the thing about a direct offer, people will tell you in marketing world where you have to offer value, and then you tell them what you have to sell. Here's the thing, what you have to sell is valuable. what I offer is valuable, if that is true, making a direct offer is valuable. True. 

Sometimes when people just come out and say I have this thing for you, it would help you. You're like, Oh, thank God, I didn't have to figure out anything other than what you just told me. You made it simple. So a direct offer for me is something like, Hey, I have this course. It's called for selling for weirdos, it's for you. I think you'd be great. I think it would really help you. If you're working on sales, you should come join us.

 Direct to the point for coaching, it might be something like, I have space for one on one clients right now, in one on one coaching, we simplify all of your business practices, we will take the complication out. And we will make it so that you can actually focus and accomplish things come join me done. Right? I often end with some sort of very direct invitation, send a message come join me, let's talk about it. Whatever it is, but we can be direct, it is allowed. It is encouraged. We don't do it enough. None of us, not me not unit anybody.

 We can also be indirect. And these are the value posts, right? So indirect is you're telling a story. Maybe that story is about you. Maybe it's about a client, maybe it's about a friend, maybe it's I don't know, it could be anything. It's like I wrote a story the other day, a post about snow days. Because we're in that right now. And about how when my kids are off, my sense of time gets all screwed up. And all of these things and eventually it led to like, what we do in coaching is we really work on your sense of time, so that you don't feel the time pressure the same way you do now. So that you can like roll with the flow. Like I've done enough work on my sense of time that I realized that my kids being off screwed up my sense of time, I noticed it. And I reset.

 Like most people haven't even noticed yet that there's a sense of time there that they can mess with. You can tell a story, you can talk about a problem Someone has, and the way you help them solve it, you can just talk about the problem, honestly, because sometimes people are like, Oh my god, I have that problem, too. So like I was talking to somebody today. And she was like, I need to reinvent, I need to do this, I need to do that. And I was like you know what I think actually, what you're doing is you're just kind of bored. 

The problem is that you've got something that worked, and now you're kind of bored. And you're tired of doing it over and over again. And that's a problem we can talk about. Like that's a problem I talk to people about all the time, is they're trying to reinvent the wheel rather than just doing what they know works. I do it to myself all the time. So you can talk about a problem, you can talk about a solution, you can talk about benefits, right? Like why would you do coaching? I wrote a post the other day that was that the reason we should do coaching is that coaching turns unicorns into goats. So I know that might not make any sense. But like, sometimes business feels magical things we're doing, it's like catching a unicorn. In reality, the idea of coaching is taking the things that feel magical and making them every day, and making them understandable that you're like less than a unicorn. It's just a goat that looks funny.

Like it's no big deal. And that's a benefit. We can talk about challenges, like what are the challenges they are facing? What are the challenges I'm facing? Why wouldn't they pick coaching? Like is it a money thing? Is it a time thing is that a fear thing. And we can talk about the the cost of not changing. So like in coaching, for example, or better yet, I have a client that works with people on communication. And the cost of not changing of not getting her help means you have the same flipping fight with your significant other or your boss or your colleague for another year. Like forever, you just keep having it. Or you could get help. And it could change. If you can have a new fight. It's like winning the lottery, you don't have no problems. 

You just have new problems, and I would take it. So you know, here's the thing. There are all of these different ways on social media. And on social media. You can write, you can video video is important. I can't tell you the number of times in a week I talked to clients about video and about showing up and just talking and being themselves. You can talk through all these different kinds of invitations. But at the end of all of them is something like hey, this is for you. If you're ready, come talk. Here's how you connect. Here's the best way to get in touch with me, you know, come join us here. Here's the schedule sign up. Right? Whatever it is, but be direct. 

Tell them and you know, we talk all the time in marketing about calls and actions, call them to action, tell them what to do. People have a lot going on in their brains, they get distracted, they missed off. I do it all the time. And it's like, wait, but what do I do here? How do I figure out what to do next. So the next kind of marketing of invitations, we can make invitations over email also. But here's the thing, you have a list of people that you send an email to, it could be I think there's two varieties of email. The first is like a standard traditional email list, I have an email list, I send them stuff, I can be direct, I can tell them a story, I can do all of the things in my email list that I would do on social media. 

And sometimes they do, sometimes things go just to my list and not on social media, sometimes they just go to social media and not my list, sometimes they go on both, I would love to tell you that I am super strategic about that. It just depends on how badly I think people need to hear whatever it is, I'm saying there that day. The other way that's really powerful to use email that people forget about, is sending email to people you know about what you're doing. Here's the thing, it feels very personal. And when things feel very personal, they feel very scary. But it is really useful for you to go through the people you know, in your world, especially if you were early in business and say like, Okay, do they know what I'm doing? Could I be helpful to them. 

Because if they don't know what you're doing, and you might be helpful to them, where people they know, what you're doing is holding back a resource from them that they could use. So what you might do is set up a template of some sort and be like, hey, you know, I'm so happy to be in touch with you, I hope all is well in your world. I just wanted to let you know that I started a business, this is what I do. I have a client who is a parenting coach, who has recently done just this, like this is the strap part of the strategy she's using, like, Hey, I'm working with these kinds of families, I'm helping them do these kinds of things. I have a community I'm building, I'd love to invite you in, please come join us, I would love to see you. And if you have friends or loved ones or family members that you think I should know, that you think would love to be a part of this community that you think need my help, please feel free to put them in touch here all the ways. 

That's all. She's gotten so many wonderful responses from people from something like that. Because a what she's doing is new to them, be they No, she's great. The problem the thing with the people we know is we're afraid to tell them stuff. But they know how good we are at things, the only one who doubts that is us. So she's been sending this email to, you know, five or six people every week. And sometimes people don't respond. But that goes back to you. They don't owe you a response. But the vast majority do. People have said to her, Oh my god, I'm going to forward this to so and so she needs you. People have said, Oh my god, I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to join your community. People have said, Oh my God, that's wonderful. I'll keep you in mind. 

People have said all kinds of things. And so it has given her a sum like oh, gosh, people do know about me, people this does make sense. But at the same time be it's given her business already. Because people are like, Oh yeah, I need that. Or oh my gosh, my friend needs that we were just talking about this, she's gotten some, we were just talking about this kind of stuff. So you know, it really is important to remember that you have people in your world who know and love you that don't know what you do, that don't know how to help you that don't know how to connect people to you that don't know they could, and that they can help you that way. So you can ask for that. You can just tell them. I have another client who sends a quarterly email out to all her professional connections. 

She coaches kids, she works with lots of school people and therapists and professionals to be a resource for them and kids. And she sends out a thing every couple of months. It's like, Hey, I hope you're well. You know, here's what's going on here.
I appreciate this referral. I appreciate the connection with this person. I think everybody's going great. You know, hope you're well. Please let me know if I can be a resource to you. It just keeps her top of mind and then those people keep connecting. 

So email the people you know, different from an email list is a really strong tool I think people forget exists to make an invitation and it's just like, hey, how can I be a part of your world? How can I be a resource for you? Then the last kind of invitation is is to an actual human being I think there is the version where you're in a group. And there's a one on one version, right? So in a group, you're in some networking session, and it's like, introduce yourself, whatever. So you give your little spiel. In that situation, often you're talking about a specific thing, right? It's like, oh, I'm a business coach, I help people uncomplicate things, I help people, first people uncomplicate things.

 If your business is feeling overwhelming, like you're trying to shove an octopus into a tiny bucket, and its arms keep sticking out, and you don't know how to get the thing in the stupid bucket for the love of God. But you would really like to, so that you can move on and do the things you actually want to do with your life, and have a business that you love, I can help. So I offer specific business coaching. I talk about generalized ideas. When we make the invitation in a general group setting that way, it's just sort of like, I'm happy to help. Here's how you get in touch. When it is one on one, it gets a little weirder, right? People get weird about this one. 

But if you're doing a lot of one on one connection, and that's something I have people do all the time, because I really believe businesses grow through one on one connection. What happens is we get to be Invitational if it makes sense. So a lot of times I'll be talking to someone and it will be they'll say something, I'll say, you know, have you ever thought of this thing? And they'll say, oh, and we'll talk about whatever idea I threw out there. And I'll say, you know, if you're curious, at some point, I have a Facebook group, or I have a podcast, and maybe it would be a resource for you. You're always welcome to come join us. You know, but don't feel like you have to. And sometimes they say that, and sometimes I don't. 

The idea is it's like, I'm inviting you to my party. If you want to come great. If you don't want to come great. Like I'm not hung up on it. There are times where people say something to me. And they'll be like, huh, be like, listen, is it okay? If I throw something out there to you? I always asked permission? And they'll say, Sure, sure, sure. What are you thinking? I'm like, Well, I have this group that I run, this is the kind of stuff we do there. 

You know, if you're ever interested in something like that, I think it might be really helpful for you. And that's I leave it there. And a lot of times, they will then ask more questions. But that's up to them. I'm not attached to it. But it is up to me as a business owner to make the invitation if I think it makes sense. It is not to get weird about it and be like Is now the time I make an invitation. Like what should I say? How should I say it? What will they do? What will their bubble blah, blah, blah, not to let the crazy take over? It it's also not the time for me to be like, well, I might have this thing that maybe could help you. Maybe if you're interested in maybe you don't I don't want to be there and then hide. It's not like a ring and Ron kind of situation. 

Okay, you're not like going to the doorbell ringing and running away as best you can. This is about, you have a person in front of you, you have a thought I have a client who has a book that she's written. And sometimes she'll talk to people and they'll say stuff and she'll be like, Man, my book would help them so much. And what she's had to practice doing is like, hey, you know, I hear what you're saying, I wrote a book about this, actually. And I think it might be a really helpful resource for you, I can send you the link, but it's up to you whether or not you buy it. I think it might be really helpful though. And she gets to say that and then move on. It doesn't have to be weird. The other thing is sometimes in general conversation with people, I may not have an a specific specific invitation that comes up. 

But what may happen is, you know, towards the end of the call, I might say to them, okay, it's been a great conversation. Is there anything else I can do to be helpful for you today? Like, how else can I be of help to you? And sometimes, you know, people will say, well, actually, you know what, I would love to talk about your coaching programs. Can you tell me a little more, but I have to open that door and say, Okay, how else can I be of help to you? And sometimes people say, Oh, no, no, no, this has been great. Or they'll say, you know, what, do you know anybody that does, or whatever. But you know, if I don't open the door, they don't ask, unless I offer. And especially if somebody's new to me or a stranger, the same can be true for you, you get to say to people, Hey, how else can I be of help to you today? What would be useful for me to do? What are questions you have that I can answer? How can I be of support to you? Right? And you know, some people will get weird about it. But like that's not you That's them.

If you're not weird about it, they don't need to be but people are weird sometimes. So don't take it personally. If somebody gets weird. The other thing is like, if you make a direct invitation and you feel weird, sometimes that's going to happen to that you're like well, even I sometimes I'm like ah, that was a little too much. But it's never actually too much. So, I don't know if this episode is just a run on list of crazy. Or if it's really useful, you guys will have to tell me. I think there's a lot of good in it, but maybe it's just crazy. So, from here, if I can be a resource to you, just like I do on calls, I am always here. 

Please feel free to reach out. Come join us in selling for weirdos come join us in group coaching. If you're not in the Facebook group, it's the same name as this podcast. Come play with us. And if you are thinking about one on one coaching, let's talk about it. I have a spot right now for someone. But probably that's it for a little bit. If you have questions ask I'm a resource. That's why I'm here. Go into my website come into my email Whoa, wherever Facebook, LinkedIn all the places probably not Instagram though. I don't really Instagram. So I'm looking forward to talking to you tell me what you think of this one. And I'll see you in two weeks.