There's giving (and I'm a FAN of giving) and then there's giving too much.
So... how do you KNOW if you're giving too much? AND, more importantly, how can you continue to BE yourself - a giver - AND also NOT give so much that there's nothing left for you?
Let's talk about it.
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Welcome to UNcomplicating Business for Teachers, Helpers and Givers. I am happy you are here. My name is Sara Torpey. I am a business coach and mom and a teacher and a wife and all the hats were. And I am here to talk to you today about what I think of as doing what's yours. Now, like, there's a whole topic, right? But the idea here is that when you focus on doing what's yours to do, that it simplifies your business. And it speeds up what you get accomplished, while at the same time subtracting out the drama and the fuss and the the extra, which sounds way too good to be true, but is in practice, actually simpler, which is bananas. So that is our key topic today. Before we jump into that, I want to tell you two things. The first is, I am three weeks into this round of group coaching. And it is so exciting to see even the growth that has happened so far. I had a client this week in group coaching, there's a group of three. And this client was talking about one of the things she's struggling with. And she said, Oh, guys, you know what, I'm so sorry, I'm taking up too much time. And one of the other members of our group looked at her on Zoom and said, No, no, no, this is exactly what happens to me too. This is exactly how I've been thinking about it. And it's feels so good to know that you have the same problems to that I am not the only one. And this is part of the magic of group coaching. Because it is amazing to have someone else share something they are struggling with and find that you know exactly where they are and how it's going. Because you're doing the same thing, you're having the same problem. That's one bonus of group coaching. The other is then we as a group, got to really work through what the next steps are for each of them in their individual businesses. Because it's small group, we got to sit together and say, Okay, this is the problem. Everybody's got a version of this problem in their business. Now what, like, what are the next steps that each individual is going to take that fits what they do in their business and their life and their schedule, to to solve this to work through this struggle. And so we had pieces that everybody was gonna try, and we have pieces that were individualized, and that's the magic. The other thing I want to share is I had a client send me an email this week that I adored that, like made my week. And the subject line said I did it. Like these are love notes that I get from people over email or messenger or all kinds of things. It says, Dear Sara, I just want you to let you know that I had a consultation last night for a new client. I told them my new price, which honestly as a side note, basically is double what she's charging now. Because she, as a teacher, as a giver as a helper has been wildly under charging for her work. And she didn't realize it because she didn't know other options. Were out there. Sometimes we're under charging. And we don't know that something else is even possible. But the email goes on it says I said it would be my new price with no hesitation because I've been having her practice. And the new client didn't even blink. She said she just said okay, great, put us on the waitlist. This is magic. Because it really increasing your price changing how you charge and offering it to new people or even your current people. And that's what we're going to work on with her next is not as complicated as you think. But we make it more complicated because we internally skip steps we do. We do lots of things to make it harder on ourselves. So I just want you to know that if you are struggling with pricing, that there's help for you that it's not complicated actually to get what you need from pricing to be charging more to be in a position where you feel really good about what people are paying you for the work you're doing. And like that is possible, and it's not as complicated as you think it is. The last thing I will say is before we dive into stuff, is that in March, I have this on my calendar already. I'm going to start talking about it little bits here and there. I'm going to offer a class. It is called selling by giving and it is going to be 15 weeks long. It is going to be live with me. There's going to be cap on the number of people that get to join because you know a giant class is not great and it is going to be not just selling by giving and learning how to do that, but also implementing it. So I'm calling it selling by giving in the selling by giving implementation lab, because it's going to be learning new things. And then using them like we are going to actually change how we do this. So that we can all it all the people that take the class will walk away, being more effective at sales, but as givers as teachers, as helpers, as people that want to do good in the world, and love to give it is tying those two things together in a way that will grow your business, but also like make you happy about sales, so you don't have to hate it. And that is the goal. So that is coming in March, we're starting in March. So if it is something that you think is going to be interesting to you kind of stick it in your pocket for now. And when in the new year, the signups come out, it's going to be $1,250, that is going to be the total, it's gonna be bananas, and it'll only ever be that praise ones I'm gonna tell you right now, because it's going to be amazing. So let's talk about doing what's yours. So when I think about the things that have made my business, simple, the things that have been most, the strongest part of simplifying my own work, and really, in looking at clients, businesses, one of the things that has been the most helpful is really to like ruthlessly focus on what is mine to do and let the rest go. What this means to me is, like, for example, if I am thinking about posting something on Facebook, what my job to do is to think like, Okay, what do I want to say, what would be useful to people right now, it is my job to write that out, make sure like it's got, you know, minimal spelling errors, and it makes sense. And then to post it, it is not mine, to try to figure out the algorithm. It is not mine to stress about what time of day, because Facebook likes things at some time versus a different, it is not mine to worry about how many people see it, I am just going to do what's mine, my job is to have the thing I want to share. And then to share it, period. From there. I need to let it do its own thing. And I know that sounds overly simplistic maybe, because you, I'm sure I've taken all the same classes and trainings and things that I have, you know, all the same experts I do. And they're like, well, but there are better times to post. And you should have a cadence and the algorithm and you should do this and your keywords and all of these things in the graphic and buppa buppa buppa book. And here's the thing, like, Can I do all that short? But what I have found most effective for me is just to ruthlessly be like what are the things that are mind control? They are that I have the thought and I share the thought. And that is it. What I don't also introduce into this process is what is something what are things that belong to other people? Which are things like what are they going to think of it? How are people going to respond? Are people going to respond? What are they going to do when they respond? How am I going to feel when they respond? What are all the ways this can go wrong? None of that is mine. That all belongs to other people. And so when I am wrapped up in other people's thoughts about this thing I'm doing I'm not doing my own thing, I'm not doing the things in my control in this is the trick to this. So for me I think of this you know in my Facebook group which is uncomplicated business for teachers helpers and givers which you should come join because it's amazing. In my Facebook group in October, we focused on things that are internal controllables like consistency and how we make decisions in our presence and how we trust ourselves and time and how we think about it. In November we're focusing on what I think of as the external controllables and these are the things they are the things that we do that are ours to do. So for example for me, these come in, you know, basically seven categories. Category number one is pricing. You know, I can set the price I can decide how I feel about it. I can decide to share it and not have any drama. Like those are all mine. What happens after that is not it is not my job to over explain it. It is not my job to worry about other people's thoughts about it. It is not my job to do any of those things. My job is to decide what the prices for my service to to feel good about it, and to share it, period. So it is pricing it is how we connect and network. It is how we mark it really it's like how we talk about what we do. It's my job to know what I do. And say it all the different ways, not my job to worry about if the way I'm saying this time is the right way. Because, you know, I'm gonna say it 5000 times, sometimes it's gonna be great. Sometimes it's gonna be trash. Like, it's just the nature of the game, right? So my job is just to say it. Visibility. So the ways in the places that you are out in the world, again, you know, like it's platforms you love versus places you don't you love email. Do you love Tik Tok? Do you have Instagram, if you listen to this podcast, you know, I'm not an Instagram person. I just can't. But I do kind of secretly love Tik Tok. So that is one thing it is about making offers and making invitations, you control the amount of that you do if you're not, if you're like, oh my gosh, I'm not making enough offers, the person who changes that is you. That's in your control. It is setting your goals and thinking about what you want to prioritize. And then it is celebrating but even celebrating out loud, like I am trying to do a better job as a business owner of doing that myself. That is why I shared some of my clients wins and some things at the start of this podcast. Because that is how people understand what you do from the stories. But if you never celebrate out loud, people don't know, we're hiding it. So this month in my Facebook group every day, there is a prompt a thing to do that has to do one of with one of these external controllables. And they've been great. So far, I'm getting messages every day from somebody about, you know, what they've done, which one they did and how it worked. So the first one November 1 was, what's the most important thing that you want to people to get from working with you or buying from you. And to go offer that to someone today without getting wrapped up in how just going to go make a post, go make an offer or go make a video Do you got to do the second one. And I think this one, I've already heard stories from people about how useful this was, was to think about your social feeds. And think about someone you know, quote unquote, and enjoy their posts and content, but you don't actually know one on one that you're like, Oh, she's great, I would love to chat with her. If you have someone like that in your world, reach out to them and ask them to chat, so that you could know them as a human, especially if you really like what they're doing. That doesn't mean you have to buy from them. Just might be like, Hey, I think you're great. I would love to know you as a person. That's it. That's all you have to say. And then every day since there has been another post and another prompt. So for you if you want to do more simply, you know, that one about reaching out to somebody you think is interesting is is networking. That's just it, that's all of it. The first one about what people want, what you want people to get from working with, you're buying from you that is offering. It's all it is. So every day is gonna be a little bit different. To the next one, towards the end of the week, the Friday one is about celebrating something and then sharing it out loud with your audience. Like I have a woman in my Facebook group who ran a marathon and under five hours last week, I was like, did you tell everyone because oh my god, now Oh, work thing, but still, it tells you a lot about her as a person. And that's amazing. And I'm like, don't run. I'm fascinated by it. But, you know, these are tiny little prompts. So if you're not in the group, you should come join. If you are like no, thank you no group, that's fine. But here's what you should think about, think about what is in your control that you do versus what's not think about the places in your day to day where you are giving away control, where you are spending time and energy on things that don't belong to you. Like other people's thoughts, other people's motivation, Facebook, its algorithms, all those kinds of things. Where are you spending energy and time in places that aren't yours? And strip those away? You can't stop at simply making the post and then not think about it anymore. It's allowed. And if you're like, Well, gosh, I don't know how to strip this out. I don't know how to strip the extra out. I don't know how to just focus on what's mine. I don't know what's mine and what's not fine, totally fine. Send a message send an email to email@example.com Come into my Facebook group. Come find me on LinkedIn. Let's talk about it. Like I am this same human in real life that I am here. Can't help it. This is the girl you get. And if you want my help, I am here to offer it to you. That is my invitation for you. Someone interviewed me for a different podcast yesterday. And she said, What? You know, what do you do when you coach people and I said, you know, the way I've been thinking about it lately is I get to take people's capabilities and amplify them. I get to help you amplify what you're best at out in the world and serve more people with it. I'm like the megaphone for the things you're best at. If you want that calm talk about it, I'm here for you. I really at this point only have one or two, one on one spots left. And then that's it for a little while. So if you want one of those both spots, come grab it. And really focusing on what's in your control is the sweet is the magic. Here it is the secret sauce to less drama. Last moving parts, less wasted time and energy less, you know less a lot of things and more progress. Focus on what belongs to you. Let the rest go. And if you have questions, view feedback, send them along. I'm happy to hear from you. I love the people part of this. And if you love this podcast, and it is useful for you read it on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen, give it a review. You know, this is how other people find it and we appreciate it. Thank you for being a part of this world. And I'll see you next week.