Teachers in Business

Success Secret: Taking Credit for Your Wins

April 19, 2022 Sara Torpey Season 1 Episode 68
Teachers in Business
Success Secret: Taking Credit for Your Wins
Show Notes Transcript

I have to let you in on a secret. 

One of ways you are shooting yourself in the foot right now is by NOT taking credit for your wins. 

How do I know? 

Because ALL of my clients (plus me and everyone I know) DO this same thing. 

How do you know you are doing it? Well, when something works out do you tell yourself you were 'lucky', that it happened 'out of the blue', and or that 'it just happened to work out well'? 

If you trot out one of these, or anything like them, you are NOT taking credit for your own successes, and it's HOLDING YOU BACK. 

Today on the podcast, I'm going to share with you the TWO simple steps you can take right now to start taking credit for your wins (and to create MORE of them as a result!). 

Book a free 1:1 Consult

Join the FREE Teachers in Business FB group

Welcome, welcome. So on this episode of the podcast, we are going to talk about taking credits for your win. This is a secret of success. Because here's the thing, what we don't do as business owners really well is take credit for our wins. And this is one of the most effective ways to hold yourself back and shoot yourself in the foot. And I would say 999 times out of 1000, you are doing this? Like there is almost no one I know, I can't think of anyone I know honestly, that doesn't do this. This is a problem for every business owner I have ever met. And it slows down our progress. So this actually comes this episode comes directly out of coaching. In the past week, you know so far this week, I have talked to seven one on one clients. It's a Wednesday today. And every single one of them has said something that sounds like not taking credit for when and by by the seventh one yesterday, I felt kind of bad because I kind of jumped all over in a very loving way. But it was like no, no, we're not doing this. No, we're not doing this is not okay not to take credit for your wins. So what does it sound like when you're not taking credits for your wins? Well, it's I'll give you the ones right out of my clients mouth this week. I had two clients tell me like this wonderful thing happened. It was like total magic. I couldn't believe it. It just, it was like a magical confluence of events from the universe. Mm hmm. I had another one just be like, you know, it really is lucky. Like it's such a it's been such a lucky week. I'm so lucky to have this kind of stuff happen. Nope. I had another one. Tell me yesterday, you know, like it just kind of lined up and worked out? You know, I don't know, I didn't really have anything to do with it. Hmm. And then the last one that I've heard, all I like 10 times this week, is yeah, just like dropped in my lap out of the blue. I don't know, it was like magical. I don't know where it came from? Oh, my goodness. So here's the thing that makes me crazy about all of this is that we as humans, as business owners, as mothers, as partners, as parents, as whatever you are, we are super quick to claim all the credit for failures. So like, you know what, that one was 100% my fault, I did it all wrong. I don't know what to do. If a technology breaks down, I do this, you probably do this. If Facebook isn't working, I assume it's my internet. Like, I do not assume the Facebook could be broken, or that they could be having a problem. And you know, like nine times out of 10 that it's not me. Or if a piece of software isn't going right. I assume it's me, I assume I broke it. If I can't find something in my email, I assume I did it wrong. If you know anything in stuff that like even isn't even mine to take credit for the failure. I take credit for the failure. We all do this. I have clients all the time be like, well, you know, and then we made this appointment, and I did all the things and the person just didn't show up. So that's totally my fault. I should have reminded them 10 more times. No, it's not. We take credit for failures that don't even belong to us. And we hop all over them. We're happy to claim them as our own. And then we have some sort of win. And it's like, oh, well, but that was just luck. Or that was just the way it worked out. It just happened to work out that way. Y'all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Can I tell you again? No, we're done with this, please. Let's be done with this. So taking credit and I had this conversation with the client yesterday, taking credit is difficult, in a lot of ways, because when we fail we often see like, action didn't work. Like it's a very direct line. We can see I did this thing. It got a bad results. Okay, I'm not going to do that again. When we succeed, oftentimes we can't see that line is clearly it's not like I made an offer today person signed on the dotted line. Like I recently had a new client come directly out of a talk that I gave she like came to the talk really enjoyed it sign up for a call sign as a client. But like it is almost never that cut and dry for me or anyone I know. Like it's never that directly attributable. So what happens is when things come to us, we're like, oh, it was magic because I can't see the through line. But that's not right. because they're all the actions, it's almost like, you imagine a point in the center of a big piece of paper, right. And instead of one straight line connecting the thing you got to you, it's like a million arrows coming at you from that point that all created this. So it's not necessarily direct action creates direct results. But it is the preponderance of your actions that created that result. So I think this is going to be a relatively short one today unless I climb up on my soapbox, but the question becomes, how do you learn to take credit? Like, how do you actually do this? How do you take credit for your wins, and there really are only two steps. The first step is to notice when you're not, when you hear yourself be like, that just came right out of the blue that was magical. Or boy, the universe is my favorite today, or Qi that was lucky. Like anything that feels like it is not in your control, like it is not you standing in your power. Anything that feels remotely like that should raise a little red flag in your brain and be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on what's happening here. So the first step really, is to notice that you're doing this, and to just pay attention to what your brain is offering you. Like, this is the first step in so much of the mindset work that we do. And that I help clients with as a coach that I do as a business owner. It's a huge part of it. But noticing is a big part of what has to happen here. So the first step is noticing it. And then the second step is going like oh, wait, hold on, let me claim credit. Okay, so I know you're like nah, but so what I want what I really what I wrote down today, in prepping for this episode, were a list of thoughts that you can try on to claim credit. Okay, so the first is to notice when something seems magical. In, in what I want to tell you, before I give you the thoughts is this. The reason we want to claim credit in this way, is when something feels like magic, it's really flipping hard to repeat. Right? If you like I have a client, I gave a talk, she booked a consult, she became a client. That's repeatable. I know exactly what happened there. But if it's like, yep, this just dropped in my lap. Totally unexpectedly. I can't repeat that. Like I can't. There's no process there for me to hone in on. There's no like, it's just magic, and how do I recreate magic? And then it gets really frustrating to make more success, because you are telling yourself you don't know where that success came from? So it's like, Oh, no. So what you get to do is think differently about this, you also get to maybe ask yourself a question. So when you notice that you're like, oh, giving away my credit here, hold on. Like, actually, how did I create the success? Right? Like, just ask yourself how not, did I? Because it's not a yes or no question. The answer is already, yes. But how did I like what did I do to create this success? There are some thoughts that underlie this that I want to offer to you, you can take the ones that fit you and leave the rest. The first one I wrote down is that all of my efforts to this point, contributed in creating this outcome. So here's the thing, like you're not new at your business. You've been here more than three minutes, you've done the work you're doing for a long time, whether it is in your business or not. If you've been a teacher for 10 years, and you moved into running a tutoring business, you've been teaching and tutoring for ages. Okay, so how does the experience you've had so far? How has that been a part of creating the outcome you had today? Right, all of your efforts, no matter what they are contributed to creating the outcome period. The second one is kind of tapping into your willingness to claim credit for failure. Just as when I fail, it's 100% on me, when I win, it is 100% on me. So if you are totally game with all the failures are my fault, then the corollary to that is so are all the wins. Like if all the failures are your fault, and you're willing to take that that credit that that blame, you then also need to be willing to take the credit. Right, the third Thought is a simplification of the first one, it's like my body of work created this one, really straight, smooth, simple. My body of work created this when is it? The fourth one is, this happened as a direct result of my effort and growth. Now, for example, related to this one, I have a client this week, who she left her role, she let go of a job that she had been working, like a side job that didn't, really to her business that she'd been hanging on to. And she's been hanging on to it for a very long time, partly because her husband didn't have one. And it caused her all kinds of thoughts, like any of us would have totally normal. But she decided, you know, a little while ago to step into, like, I'm gonna run my business, this is going to be where we make our money, rather than I'm just doing this until he gets a job. And, you know, she has let go of this other role officially, as of this week, and guess who got a job this week? Yeah, that's not coincidence. Friends. It's not luck. It's, you know, letting go of one thing made room for something new power works like that. And is it 100% Like foolproof that way? No. But you know, just as well as I do, you've had cases where you let something go, and then something else came into its place, and you looked around and you were like, Oh, ha, I had that happen to a client this week, she lost a piece of business that she was, like, excited about went away, and into its place is coming something bigger and better. And that is when she started talking about locking. It was like, no, no, no, no, no, a door closed. In this one, open it. This is based on the body of work. This is a direct result of her efforts and growth period. And then the last one, you know, it might feel funny, but it is I create all of my wins. All of my wins are my creation. And if you need to bridge this a little bit, you could say it's possible that I create all my wins, shows like I create all my failures. Okay, so the process here is to notice, when you are giving away credit, to ask yourself, how you created the win you have today. And then to trade in some new thoughts about your wins, that are claiming credit for them. Because when we know we were the power behind our wins, we then know we are the power to create the next one. When we are the power to create the next one, we do, okay, this is how it works. And I will say this week has been a really good example of why one on one coaching or small group coaching really does make a difference for clients, for me for businesses, because you can go on and on and on for ages with a story like this in your brain. But if you have a coach, if you have someone in your business with you, listening to you, in listening to the things you're telling yourself, I get to call my clients out very lovingly on things like this and say Hang on, hang on, hang up, who's in charge of your wins, and they get to step into their power, my job is to help them step into their power. So this is a really good reason to have a coach, because you want your success to be meaningful. You want it to be repeatable, you want it to be yours to control. And part of my role for my clients is to make that so to help them see that that is already the case. And to take advantage of the places where that's already happening. So like with the client this week, that got new business, it was like Okay, wait, how did you create this? What did that look like what's repeatable here? What are you going to do next with this information. And we can take her direct switch situation and expand it into more growth. That's exactly what we're doing. So if you want to capitalize on your wins, this is the role of coaching. It is first helping you get out of your own way and notice where your thoughts and your processes are tripping you up. And then second, finding the wins and capitalizing on them because that is the simplest way to grow. If you want that kind of support. This is the work I do with one on one and small group clients. Send a message you can email me at sara@torpeycoaching.com. You can come to my website and book a client consult. You can say I found you on the podcast and I can know the direct line from one to the other. Or you can come in and join my Facebook group. It's free. It's called Teachers in Business and start there. There's lots of great stuff in there. The other thing you should know is that I would love and appreciate if you listen to this podcast, if you would rate or subscribe here on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen, this is how other people find this and get all the same kind of good you are. And with that, we're set. I will see you all next week for a new episode.