Have you ever tried something new and then felt immediate regret like' OMG, what did I do?!'
Or, when you've done something new all day - networked, shared, posted, whatever - and the next day you just CANNOT bring yourself to even talk to people, let alone work?
And there is some part of you that then pops up and says 'eeek, maybe you're not cut out for this?'
You're NOT alone. And what you're feeling is normal - it's what I think of as the stretch-snap-stretch cycle of growth.
Listen on to learn more!
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Welcome to another episode of Teachers in business. This is Episode 60, which is something I am absurdly proud of, because there's 52 weeks in a year and 60 is more than that. And I don't know, I like these little mini milestones, and I like to celebrate them. So, happy mini milestone, today we are going to talk about something I think of as the stretch snap stretch cycle. It is something you have experienced, especially if you are an entrepreneur, or if you are changing careers from teaching to something else. Or if you're changing really anything, even. You know, like making new friends or things at home in your life, if you have children, good Lord, this is a part and parcel of growth. And, and it is like a normal cycle. So before we dive into talking about stretch, snap stretch, which I can already see you going like, oh, I felt that before, I want to talk a little bit about one of my favorite coaching ones from last week. So I have a client who last week did something new. She has been preparing for this for a whole bunch of weeks now. And a month ago, she told me she was not going to do it. She was giving this presentation and she was like, I don't think I can do this. I don't know what it's going to be about. I don't have anything ready. I don't have anything settled, nothing's gonna work. And she was freaked out. This is what happens. And so what we did was we worked together, we've been working together for a number of months now to get her in a position to really give this new presentation and use it as the launching point for her coaching business. And what's happened is once she got over sort of the log jam in her head of like, I can't, I can't, I can't I don't know what I don't have what I need, what we spent some time talking about was her value and her expertise in like what is really important about what she does and sort of building up her self concept and her confidence in those areas. Then once she started, you know it really what broke the ice is I told her one day like you just have to take 10 minutes, just spend 10 minutes working on your presentation. She was like, okay, I can do 10 minutes, and she like dragged herself to 10 minutes and 10 minutes turned into an hour. And then all of a sudden the log jam was broken, and she was moving. And it was like okay, and then she got to the part where she was like, Well, what do I offer? So we sat and we crafted something for her offer that felt like her that felt really easy to offer that felt simple and clean. And we sent her out, we figured out a way for people to reach out to her about it. She said to me, like what if nobody reaches out? Like, well, I don't think that's gonna happen, because this is an amazing offer. And you're amazing. But you know, we all have those doubts. Well, over the last weekend, she gave her presentation in before she was even done. She had people reaching out to take her up on her offer. I think when she messaged me, there were six. And so here's the lesson in here. Sometimes we're afraid of the next thing. And what we need is a voice on the outside to say like, Okay, nope, you can do this, you are great. It is going to be valuable. Yes, we have some logistics to work out. Let me help you work out the logistics. Let me help you get yourself unstuck. And then let me put you in a position where you can fly. And so now all the sudden things are opening up. She's telling people that she's talking about what she does. She's doing all these things, you know what that all is going to create income and business. And that's exactly what she wanted all along. We have only been working together now 12 weeks, so we have time left to go in coaching left to share and it's only just going to get better from here. Like, it's good. I'm proud I'm proud of her and I you know, this is the power of coaching. It doesn't take very long for you to really see a huge result like this. So today we're going to talk about a cycle that all my clients go through that I go through all the time called stretch snap stretch. So think about a time where you tried something new and you immediately regretted it and or like you posted something particularly direct or it was an offer you posted it twice you did something that felt like a little too much. And you were like ah and I and then you for like immediately regretted it like oh my God, what did I just do? Or you did something new like you went, you know, you signed up to a networking event, and you promised to bring something or what, what have you, and the day came of the thing, and you're like, Ooh, I don't want to do this, I really don't want to go. I don't know what to do. And you kind of work through talking yourself out of it. But then in the end, you go, think about a time where you did something new. Like, for example, I had this last week where I gave a presentation to a networking group, all full of lovely people that I knew. But it was new for me, not new. But it was just a new presentation that I'm giving a new speech. It was a new way of me thinking about it, it was a new way of me presenting myself to that group. I had done it I like couldn't talk to people for 24 hours. I was like, ah, too much input too much in but too much input. That's how it works. That is stretch, snap, stretch. So here's what it really is. When we do something new, we are stretching ourselves out of our comfort zone, imagine a rubber band around your finger. So like you put the rubber band around your finger and you use your other hand to pull it taut. You pull it in, you pull it, you pull it, you stretch it. And after you've stretched it, at some point guy let go. And you do and it goes snap, and it smacks your finger in it hurts. We all know that feeling. We're like, oh, that rubberband snapped me. But that's the snap part. So you did the stretching, it snapped back. But then what you have to do next is continue to stretch. So like did I not talk to any more new people that week? No. Last week, I did that presentation, I did the stretch, it snapped. And the next day I got up and I was like I am okay. I'm going to talk to some people, I'm going to be a little kinder to myself today. And then on Friday, I talked to a bunch of new people. I'm giving that presentation again, this week, I'm gonna go through the whole cycle again. Here's the reason we're talking about this. What happens I find in business is that we go through this very any kind of growth business in particular, for me has been the place where it happens most often. But in any kind of way that we're growing. What happens is we go into a cycle where we stretch snap, in when we get that snap, we think something is wrong. We go like Oh my god, I that was so painful. Like I don't know if I'm cut out for this. Or oh, I'm so afraid I'm so uncomfortable right now, I don't think I can do it. Maybe I should just give up and do something else. Or I did this thing. And I'm just not going to do the next one. Because that was That was scary. Or like, I don't think I can give this presentation, I don't think I can figure out how to do it. You know what, I'm just going to tell them I can't come. The thing is, is that's the snap back. That's the rubber band, the natural consequence of a snapping of pulling the rubber band taut is that it snaps back. That's just part of the physics of it, right? The natural consequence of us stretching is a snap back sometimes. But what isn't the case is that it's wrong. Like there's nothing wrong at that point. No problem has happened, you didn't hurt yourself, you were uncomfortable. When you see that snap, when you feel it against your finger when you feel it in your brain. And in your heart. When you snap back like that. It doesn't feel great. But it is growing. And so what we do sometimes in the cycle is we think, stretches, okay, snap is wrong. And then we skip the next part, which is to stretch again, we're like, ooh, the snap was wrong, I can't do this again. And we give up and we walk away, or we put it on the shelf for a while, or we avoid it. And when we do that we slow our own growth. Because the other thing to keep in mind if you imagine that rubber band again, is what doesn't work with a rubber band or with your, with your with yourself or with people is that if we stretched it and stretched it and stretched it and stretched it and stretched it and never let it snap back. Eventually it's just going to break. Right? We can't stretch endlessly and not rebound back and forth some. So the idea that we can stretch and grow and stretch and grow and stretch and grow and stretch and grow and never have any snap and there isn't right. It doesn't make any sense. Eventually we just pull the rubber band so hard it just breaks and then we don't have an am another read. We're like Oh God, what do I do now? What we don't want as human beings is to set ourselves up to break. We don't want to stretch ourselves so far and not use our elasticity, that we pull ourselves too far from what we know, we make ourselves so uncomfortable that we can't function. It's like, when you're teaching kids in a classroom, you know this, there is a difference between creating like cognitive discomfort and stretching them and giving them a challenge and giving them something impossible. It's like my son who is eight, right now I could give him some multiplication and division work to think about and he'd be able to figure it out, it could be a stretch for him. But if I gave him stuff from algebra two that I'm working with a friend's daughter with, on right now, he wouldn't even like he'd be frustrated, he'd give up because he has no context for it. It's too far of a stretch his rubber band broke, when I stretch him that far. So for you, the same is true, we stretch, we snap, we stretch, we grow ourselves a little bit, and then we can go back to the rubber band. But what we don't do is stretch endlessly. That snap is a part of the cycle. So here's the thing to think about. Here's the to do from this episode, the action to take. It's to notice this cycle. So take a few minutes today and think about where you have experienced this stretch, snap stretch cycle today. Ask yourself, where did I stretch? What was the snap? How am I stretching next, like and you can look at your last couple of stretch snap experiences. And think like, did I then stretch again? Or did I let the snap scare me off? Because knowing that cycles going on even just knowing that it's part of the growth process that it's normal, for me is incredibly reassuring. It's like, oh, well, but when I snap back like this, and I want to go sit under my desk and eat brownie, that's normal. That's just me snapping back. And then I can have the brownie and shake it off and get up and do it again. I'm okay. This isn't wrong. So if you look, in your recent experiences, where are you in this cycle, telling yourself that it's wrong? Where are you taking the snap as a problem? Instead of just like, oh, this is growth? Let me pull again? And what do you want to anticipate sometimes one of the things that I do with clients, they say to them, okay, you're going to stretch like this, what do you think it's going to feel like when you snap back, and then having a little bit of context, having thought a little bit about what it's going to feel like when they snap back means that when that happens, they're ready? And they're like, oh, yeah, I knew I was gonna feel like this. Like, for me, what I've been doing is when I do my, these presentations that I'm doing that are new, what I'm doing is I'm scheduling in quiet time for my day in the next day. So like they've been on Wednesdays, I had one Wednesday, last week, I've one Wednesday this week, what I did was block out my Thursday morning, so I don't have two people. And what that does is give me space to like snap, and feel that and then be okay, Thursday afternoon, like I'm fine. But I know that that's how I feel afterwards. And I'm going to allow myself that space time. There's nothing wrong with it. If you know you're gonna do this new networking thing, and it's uncomfortable. And if you get in there and get out the door, then maybe afterwards, you get ice cream, like do what you need to do. Ice cream is never wrong. But if you think ahead and think like, okay, how am I going to react after I do this? Am I going to be really tired? Am I going to need some quiet time? Am I going to need a reward? You know, what are you going to need? When you feel that snap? What's it going to be like? And then how do you then continue to stretch through it? Right? That's it. This stretch snap stretch cycle is really just one of the things that happens to us as we grow. And when we know it is a thing. We're just that much better armed to keep growing and keep functioning. Because we don't have to think anything is wrong. We don't have to think there's a problem. We can go like Oh yeah, this is the cycle. I remember Sarah said this is the cycle. Of course, this is how this feels. I'm okay. I'm just gonna keep going. Alright, so if you are not in my Facebook group, it's called teachers in business just like this podcast. Please come join us. We would love to have you in there. We talk about this kind of stuff all the time, and more and there's lots of free resources for you that you can come in and use to grow your business. If you have not followed or reviewed this podcast and whatever platform you're listening to it on. I would love, love love, if you would subscribe and follow, because this is how more people find your pod, this podcast. And the more reviews there are the more followers, the more people, other people, new people get to find it. And then lastly, if you are thinking about coaching, if you are looking for someone to shepherd you through this regular snap, stretch, snap stretch cycle. I am a business coach, and I help people grow businesses simply, I help people simplify business growth in business results. And I help them to create the systems and the processes that underlie their business in a way that really work for them. And for the growth they're about to have. This is here for your for you too. So if you're interested in coaching together, please come let's talk about it. I'm also in the process of offering one time, 90 minute sessions for people that either just want to test this out or are not ready for a long term commitment yet. You can learn more about that by coming in talking to me or sending me a message you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can come find me on Facebook or LinkedIn and just send me a message there. I look forward to be connected. Thank you for your views and your followers. They're so helpful. And I will see you all in two weeks on the podcast. They're not going to be an episode next week because it's Presidents Day and kids are home and all kinds of stuff. And I'm going to use that time to catch up on some other things. So I will see you here in two weeks. Happy week.