Talking to Your YESES

Welcome, welcome, super proud to have this be Episode 10. And to be talking about something super important, today we're going to talk about how to talk to your yeses. Now, here's the idea. In a classroom, your responsibility as a teacher is to get everyone on board in a classroom, in a company, in, you know, all the places that you are, no matter how much or how little the faces in the room, want to buy, what you're selling information or whatever it is, as a result, because that's your responsibility. You have to talk to everyone and connect to everyone. When we transition to business, when we talk in the business world, things are different. You are not responsible for getting everyone on board or talking to everyone, you only have to talk to your yeses. And those are the people that are like 100% sold on what you do. Doing this well is a sneaky challenge in a lot of ways. And this week, we're going to talk about how to know who you're talking to, as well as simple strategies, focusing your time and your energy and your attention on the people who really want what you have your yeses. So I'm going to start with a little story. One of the biggest mistakes I made in my first business was trying to be everything to everyone. Does that sound familiar? Have you tried that recently, even when I figured out who the right people were, I was still caught up in trying to make all the people my right people, and convince them that they needed what I had. It took me a really long time to understand that the right people for my business right now my first business, all the businesses, my best clients, were the ones that I didn't have to talk to anything. I don't have to make them get anything. They got it, they were the ones who understood what we were up to, they understood why it matters. And they got that pretty quickly right out of the gate. This doesn't mean that I didn't have to sell anything I did, I had to talk to them about the value, I have to help them through issues about money and purchasing those things. But it also meant I didn't have to make a whole lot of assumptions about what they thought and what they needed me to do and say and how I had to talk them into it and all of these things. In the process of this, what I figured out was that for every business, no matter what you do, there are 100% people who get what you do, they get why it matters, they see the value, those are your yeses, these are the people right out of the gate, the you don't have to talk into things they get you. This is not to say that they're just gonna be like, here's my money, although that can happen, there is still work to do in terms of helping them to trust you to feel safe buying from you to trust that they will follow you. they'll follow through on whatever it is they need to do. But starting from knowing they get it is a hell of a lot easier than starting from assuming they know nothing, they get nothing, they don't understand you, they don't understand what you do, and having to explain that to everybody. And then have them be safe and comfortable. And all the other things. In the classroom, you talked to everybody, you had to talk to the kid that was like geeked out over what you teach before they walked into the room. And the one that you could not have given a million dollars to be geeked out about what you were gonna teach before they walked into the room. You had to bring them all. And it is hard to shift your brain from bringing them all to just bringing the people that are like hell yeah. In business, this is something that goes wrong a lot. And it is something that everyone does. So if you're thinking like crap, this is me. Don't feel bad. It's not you like you're not down the wrong path. Everyone does this, I do this, I still do this. I see my own coaches do this. This is just part of the process, thinking that you have to talk people into or explain to them how this works or whatever it is. To get on the boat with you is a normal state. But it means that you're working like 10 times harder than you really have to be. And that's you know, like I'd rather just people can get on the boat and then we can talk about where we're going. So knowing if you are talking to your yeses is much easier described by How you know you're not doing it. What I mean, when I say talking to your guesses, I mean, in any kind of content perspective, like physically face to face over zoom one on one in a group in writing and posts and whatever it is you're doing to represent your voice. That's what I mean by talking to people. So here's some of the clues that will happen if you aren't talking to your yeses. If you're constantly thinking of ways to teach people about why what you do matters. And it's like, well, but if they only understood if you are working to convince people that you're an expert, and this is valuable, and like they need what you do, in your thinking that they just have no idea and you have to help them learn it. That's a problem. If you are trying to convince them of the value of your work your field, what they need to do. Or if you feel like you have to strip it back and dumb it down. And your most useful ideas get like reduced down to just like the basics where people can catch up. That's, that's not it. The other thing is, you might be getting a lot of feedback that isn't serving you or you're like, ah, they didn't get it. When you get that kind of feedback on how you should be different on what you should be doing differently on how you're not what they need. How if you did it like this, how you know you charge this is a feedback is how everything you do should be different, rather than maybe just making a small adjustment to be clear, or questions that they're asking you that help you to grow, then you're probably talking to your nose. This whole thing, if you're feeling like oh, people don't get me, you're just probably not talking to the right people. And let me be clear, there's always going to be times where you feel like your message isn't coming across effectively. And you can improve that. We all can do better on clarity. This is not what this is. When we're talking about what we're talking about today. This is the kind of thing that's like you're feeling like you have to convince everyone. And when you're doing that, and you're getting super frustrated as a result, it's because you're really spending the energy to get on board the people who are not on board. Think of it like yoga. Some people are like, yeah, I'm all game. Let me go try yoga, and some people are like Not on your life. And if you focused on the knock on your life, people, it's a lot heavier lift to get them to yoga class, then the people were like, Yeah, what time I love yoga, or I would always wanted to try yoga. We want to talk to them. Like they always wanted to try yoga. Hell yeah, let's do that. But the people that were like Over my dead body, let them go do something else. They can go run laps or whatever. That's fine. So if you're talking to your nose, nose again, I'm going to repeat that it's normal. We all do this, I do this, my clients do it. My colleagues do. It's normal. Don't be mad at yourself. Just think like, oops, here I am. Let me reset. And then here's the reset first. Step one, reconnect with yourself and the value of what you do. Stop listening to everyone else. Pause. Take them out of your space out of your brain out of your mind. Do you believe the work you do matters? Why? How does the work you do help people? What difference does it make in their lives? Who have you helped already? And what has been the impact of that? What is the potential for humans for other people in the work you do? And how is it more than worth the money you're asking them to pay? Sometimes just doing this reconnection is all you need. It might be the only step. You might have to be able to just like shake it out and go like oh wait, wait. I don't have to talk people into this this. This is life changing. You know what people get what I can do? I'm going to talk to them. Okay, wait, I got it. Okay. If that's not quite enough, go to the next step. Here's the second step. The next step is to think of someone who does get what you do. There is at least one person that was like, Yes, I get that I get you. They are Yes. Imagine them in your head. Hold them in your mind. What is it that they get? Why do they value With your work, why do they value the kind of work you do? What do they get out of it? How does it help them? Yes, these questions are similar to that first set that reset about value. But what you're doing here is you're flipping the perspective. You're thinking about what you do from the perspective of someone who is a holy Heck yes. To what you do, and thinking about what matters to them, and why they're on board. And then talk about that. In your writing. When you talk to people. One on One, whatever it is, when you network, talk about the people who are like, wholly onboard. What do they need to hear from you? What would be helpful to them? How would you give to them, teach them sell to them knowing that they're like, heck, yeah, I want more of that. And how can you most help them in this moment? You know, I had a colleague a couple of weeks ago, say to me, like, oh, gosh, Sarah, I wish there were more posts when you post on Facebook on your feed. And I had been thinking earlier in that day that like I was doing too much, that it wasn't useful, that I wasn't sure what people are getting out of it. And I was like roundly beating myself up about it. And then she went like, No, no, no, no, no, I love what you're posting, I need more. She's Yes, she gets it. And then do this reconnection as often as you need to, sometimes I do it every day. What I'm feeling out of sync, like, what do my people need to hear right now? What would be most valuable to them? Let me talk to that one person in my mind, who I know gets it. And if that person is your spouse, your significant other or the opposite of your spouse, your significant other because sometimes they get it and sometimes they don't. That's fine. Picture the person who you know, understands. Please talk to them. They are Yes. And then just keep reconnecting the more yeses you get in your world, the more you can think of specific people and sort of adjust the nuance of your message to meet. Right, keep going. There is a particular hurdle here. One of the big hurdles that I see in clients all the time, is where they go, Oh, wait, I'm just talking to the wrong people. I need to go find the right people. It's not what's happening. Like the people on your email list or the right people, people in your Facebook group, they're the right people. Stop telling yourself, you're talking to the wrong people. Because what that's doing is making it like an external problem. What you're doing is you're going like, Oh, wait, I just have to like, change this widget a little bit. And I'll get it right. Could it be that there is something a little wrong with the audience that you're talking to? Yes. But mostly, it works better. When you assume when you really, truly in your heart come from the place of knowing that they are your people. Because that is what makes them your people. This is a really strange kind of subtlety. But the idea of talking to your yeses is much less about demographics. It's not about who they follow on Facebook or Instagram. It is not about how much money they make, or what age they are, or what gender they are, whatever, those things. And those are things you think about when you target right? Oh, that's fine. But talking to your yeses is more about what they believe and what they feel and what they think. It's not about whether or not they're the right or wrong person for you. And that is just an external judgement. Like that's you judging them. But talking to your yeses is about how you present what you believe about the value of you and your work to the world in full confidence and full certainty that you are the bomb, and that people get you and they need you and that more people need you. And if you are walking around, like holy cow people, you need this more than anything and here's why. Here's how it will change you and think of my friend Joanne who this changed and stories and all of those things. People cannot help but be drawn to that. And suddenly the people that felt like the wrong people are the right people. But that comes from you and your energy. It's not about you know, right or wrong people. So if you are caught in the like I'm just talking to the wrong people cycle. It is time to look in Inside rather than outside. And I know that's success advice, but the truth. So I'd love to know your thoughts. As you work through this, feel free to send a message, send an email to come on in and talk about it in my facebook group, which is teachers in business, or even just send me a note. And let's connect one on one. This is something I talk about with my clients a ton. It's something I think a lot about myself. You can probably tell that, and I love the different perspectives and the little tips and tricks that you've had to keep yourself connected to your yeses. You can reach out over email. I'm Sarah Sa ra at Torpey coaching comm or you can go to my website and book some time to talk Torpey coaching COMM And then if this is you, like if I have been talking to you the entire time, and you're like, Oh, dang, I am not talking to my people. I'm not talking to my assets, you know, that you are trying to talk all the people to all the people rather than just the people that really get you but you're not sure how to stop the cycle. Man, this is what I do with my clients. So I do with myself. And as I said it is kind of magic. You can get the ease and the love that comes from talking to your yeses. Rather than like dragging the people that are your nose kicking and screaming, because that sucks. It's miserable. It's a slog, and it doesn't need to be this kind of slog. So please, if I can help you break the slog and get into this like lighter area, way more fun place of talking to the people that actually want you. I would love to do that. So book a time to have a conversation, send a message, we'll set it up. And we'll talk about how coaching can help you do that. business can and should be fun, talking to people about what you do, can and should be fun. So let's embrace that y'all. All right. I'll talk to y'all next week.