How to Actually GET TO New Things

Hello, Hello, I'm Sarah, you know this. Today we're gonna talk about how to get some time to do those new things you've been trying to do. This episode comes directly out of a conversation I had with a client not too long ago, and I was telling her about something new I was working on, she was like, wait, wait, wait, stop. 

When the hell do you have time to do anything new? How do you even find that time? Like? Did you pull it out from under a rock? Did you get it? Like at the store? Where can I buy some because I never seem to have the time to do the new things. And I realized that this is a conversation I have a lot in also that I have a lot internally. So on this episode of the podcast, we're going to talk about the new things, what's in the way of getting to them and how to actually get to them for a change pace. 

You're not going to do them all at once. That's impatient, we'll talk about that. But at the same time, doing the new things that you want to do for your business for yourself, for your family, for your growth for your people, they matter because they are what helped you sort of push the edges of your business and yourself wider, right. But if we never get to them, everything stays the same all the time. And that's not awesome. So before we jump in, one of the new things you might have time for that you don't need as much time for as you think that would help you way more than you think possibly is selling for weirdos. Selling for weirdos is a course. 

But it is not like any other course you've ever taken. Because I'm not a teacher like you've ever had before. I teach sales and selling to teachers helpers and givers I teach you been selling for weirdos, how to be yourself and sell and not feel slimy or salesy or icky or about it ever again, it is not a complicated process that I've built, that I've been teaching people for a long time now. And the course is meant to make it simple. So that the things that you're doing already to make sales and get more efficient, so that we're not adding things to your to do list. We're taking things off. And you can feel good about the way you're selling for now and forever. Like you imagine feeling good about your sales process, and the difference that will make an actual sales. If you want more information about selling for weirdos, you can check it out in the description of the podcast or in the show notes.

 It is if you go to Torpey coaching.com forward slash selling Dash for slash weirdos, not no no selling Dash for Dash weirdos who? You'll find it, I will make sure it's linked. It's all good. But really, it is a vital part sales without sales you don't sell, right? So if you're avoiding sales and selling, and you would really like to stop doing that selling for weirdos is the most efficient way for you to do that. Because it's learning plus coaching because I am in there one on one with support. It is like the most cost effective version of figuring this out forever that you're ever going to come across. So please, let's do that. Okay, so let's start with getting to new things. 

Let's start with why you're not. So let me tell you a couple of things. First, I need you to hear this really clearly. So pause, standstill, drive your driving, keep driving, right, but just give yourself a second. First. You're not not getting to them because you have lack of discipline, not because you're unmotivated. It's not because you're doing it wrong. It's not because you're not good at time management. It's not because you don't care enough. You have all the skills, you need to be able to get to this stuff, you are not failing as a person, because you are not magically operating more time into your life. It's not it. There are though some things in our way. Generally speaking, that happened to all of us, even when we are the best possible time managers, when we are super disciplined were super motivated. That stuff's going to happen, it's going to make things hard to get to especially new things.

 First, creating space for new things. only happens if we really, really intentionally do it. We you know, in any given day, what we have is 24 hours and we use it all right now, even if we're using it to watch Netflix, which which I do because I have a Project Runway habit, it is what it is. We all have the things that we love. So if we're doing something new that requires new time, we need to carve it out from somewhere because we already use all the time we have. And that's that's a trick right out of the gate, right? Because we already use it all it's like, it's like, you know, handing out cookies and you have 24 kids and 24 cookies and the 25th kid shows up and it's like oh, now what? 

This is the other part of it is that new for no matter how risk tolerant you Are new is almost always scary. New is always different. And human brains don't like change. Very simple. So you're like brain, we're gonna do this new thing and your brain is like, No, I don't think so I'm gonna throw up every barrier I can. Even not intentionally, even subconsciously, even if consciously, you really want to do this new thing, subconsciously brands are like me, we don't do change, we don't do scary, we don't do new. 

So we're gonna watch more Netflix Project Runway for the when I get it. Also, a lot of times when we're going towards something new, it's something big and new. And big adds to our scare factor, because it's like, oh my gosh, the only way I'm going to do this well, is if I clear my calendar for a week and a half. And that's never gonna happen. So we don't get to it. It feels big, and big, feels heavy and heavy, become scary and scary just doesn't happen. Right. The other thing is this thing I've been talking about with clients and friends recently, which I've called BAFTA buffed, I don't know what to say it's f o f t. Right. I think this is fear of Follow, follow through. Follow through is a really tricky thing for us human brains. Because there are three kinds of problems that happen with follow through the first is we're pretty convinced that we're not going to just period goes back to the whole, like, we're not motivated, right? 

The second is we're like, Well, if I do follow through and a don't doesn't work, I'll be embarrassed. Right? We're worried that if we follow through and it doesn't work, we won't have done enough, we're not good enough. We're not and all of our not enough feelings come up. And then the third flavor, which we get where it's just like a Neapolitan cone friends, you get all the flavors here is fear of doing it, and then having it work and not understanding what that could look like. Right? It's like, oh, my gosh, if this works out, and then one. So fear of follow through is a huge barrier. Because, right, it's like, what if I don't do it, I'll think badly of myself. What if I do do it? And someone else thinks badly of me? What if they do do it, and everybody likes it? And then what? Right, all of those things are competing for airtime all at the same time. 

So go figure you don't start. You're not a terrible person. None of us are. But what I want to give you today is some ideas about how to start. Okay, so if you have something new that you're like, dammit, I never get to that. And I really want to, here are the things I do when I'm there. Because I have lots of ideas to have lots of new things. I have lots of secret projects. I have lots of you know, building a course. I talked about selling for weirdos earlier, that was new at some point for me. It was like, Okay, I'm going to do this, how do I start? So the first thing I always think about is bite size. Like I said before, one of the problems is when things feel too big for me, I am immediately overwhelmed by them, like, Nope, I can't start this because I need three months of dedicated time, and I'm never gonna get that. So I might as well just not bother. 

Okay. What I really do in reality is need like 20 minutes at a time, truly. So for me, I think really carefully, very often, every single week actually about bite size, about the size of the task I'm about to attack. Maybe you're like me, and your new secret project is an Etsy store full of templates and useful tools. When I started that's like the current new thing I'm creating space for. So when I started thinking about it, I was totally overwhelmed. I've been thinking about it for months. And I was like, Oh my gosh, so what I did to start is I gave myself 20 minutes, just to go look through my Canva and see if I had anything worth going in a store and collect them. 

Turns out I did go figure because I am a content monster and I just make stuff. I had plenty of stuff. The next thing I did was give myself 20 minutes to just go like look around and see what other people were doing. I gave myself another 20 minutes to just you know, download a couple of templates on how to do this and see if I understood them. But it's like little drips at a time. Is it the fastest way? No. But is it faster than never starting? Yes, guys, if we never start We're never getting there. I'd rather get there 20 minutes at a time. Personally. Do things take longer that way? Yes. But longer than what write longer than I want maybe a bit longer than forever? No. So, for me what often goes in my planner is something like right This week it says SC 30 times two, which means twice this week, I'm gonna give it 30 solid minutes of uninterrupted thought, I might even do more than that. But what I promised myself is to carve out 30 minutes twice a day, actually what I'm gonna do next. 

So, when you're starting something new, think about bite size, what's the smallest bite, you can take and make progress? Maybe you could commit to 10 minutes twice. This is something I do with clients all the time, like, alright, just do it 10 minutes twice, and they're like, oh, that doesn't feel so bad. And then nine times out of time, they come back and they're like, Well, I did like an hour. Go. Okay, so you did three times as much as you thought you could. It's okay. The second thing, and this is going to come up on the list a couple of times is to be nice to yourself about it. Figuring out how and where to fit new things is not easy. It's just not. It's okay. But being mean to yourself and telling yourself, you don't have discipline, you're unmotivated, you're a bad person, you don't care enough, you're all the things doesn't help you get there faster. I know that is easier to say than do I do the same thing. And also, be nice to yourself. 

So it's like, okay, I promised myself I'd do two of these this week. I only did one one is better than that. Or, I promised myself I'd do this for 10 minutes this week. I haven't gotten there yet. Maybe I could do five minutes right now. Right? We don't need to be mean about it. When we're mean about it. pause and ask exactly what you're expecting. Because sometimes what makes us mean, is having expectations that are out of line with what either a The reality is or be we actually want. So oftentimes for me, when I realize I'm being like, mean, when it's like Come on, sir, get it together. It's because I expect that I'm a perfect and be already have it done. Neither of those things are true. So it's like, oh, by expectations are out of line with like, what's even possible or what I even want, and I don't want to be perfect, and I don't want it done right now. So it's like, okay, I got this. 

The next thing is, you know, related to expectations is to think specifically about patients. So often entrepreneurs like you and I, business owners, one of the hardest things for us is we want to get it all done right now. We control our time, we're like, I'm going to control my time. I'm going to get this all done immediately. And that's just not often how things work. Right? We can't have it all right now. Gosh, if we could, right. If we could have it all right now it'd be amazing. I'd be who even the world. I don't even know if I'd want to be but I'd have cupcakes for sure. So it's like, okay, am I being impatient with myself in a way that is slowing me down? What do I want the timeline to look like? What do I think the timeline could look like? And why do I want it to look like that? Is impatience serving me. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's like a nice little shove, like, Come on, get your act together.

 But if it's mean impatience, or if it's impatience, that stops you, then it's then it's not useful. Like if it's impatience that's standing in the way between you and progress, then it's not really helping you, right? Generally, I find that impatience is not a tool we need. But it is something we have in spades. So it is useful to periodically be like, Okay, wait, what am I actually expecting? What do I think the timeline is? What's my patience? Like? Right? I tend to be like, so this Etsy store, I've been thinking about it since the start of the year, I've been slowly sort of giving it 2030 minutes at a time. I'm hoping it opens, you know, mid April, end of April. 

I gave myself four months to poke at it and play with it and make progress. I didn't want to open overnight. And then what's what I'm going to do is give myself four or five months to really understand it and move it. But that's most of the year. Right? I think often we don't give ourselves enough time. We're like, well, I have three weeks, it needs to be done in three weeks, and then it needs to be going and people need to buy it immediately. I don't think that's how anything works. Because in my experience, that's not anything works. It's how we want it to work, but it's not how it actually works. So for you, what can you do to bridge the difference between reality and expectation? How can you line them up more clearly in a way that is kinder to you?

 One of the things that really helps me to move things forward is to build in some accountability. And for me, the ultimate accountability is saying things out loud to people I love. So like you now know and an Etsy store is coming But long before you knew, my husband knew, my coach knew my best friend knew my neighbor up the street news. She's working with me on it. My clients secretly the slurs, it's sort of leaked out here and there to clients. But you know, the thing is now I've talked about it. And now I feel like if I talked about it, it's real. So there is some built in accountability there when you start to talk about it, because it becomes a real thing. And it does bring us right back to fear of follow through right, now that you're talking about it, you're even more scared that you won't do it. And you may not. And that's okay. 

But now that I'm talking to people about it, people are like, oh, yeah, no, that would be super helpful. I would really like that template, or I need this thing. Or could you make one your have your store set? Could you make me one of these, getting lots of ideas from people. And so that's really encouraging, and really helpful, and really good feedback to get right. For people to be like, Yes, I need this. And here's how it will help me. So that's a huge win for me, talking to people about it, and I actually currently by my best friend from high school, and I have a little deal going, she's working on a new thing, and I'm working on a new thing. And when she works on hers, she says, like I did my thing today, did you do yours? And we go back and forth. 

So I kind of have a partner, I have an accountability, buddy. I have it in multiple forms. So for you, how do you want to hold yourself accountable? Who do you want to hold you accountable to yourself? Who can you say it out loud to you? That will be like, Oh, that's cool. What are you doing next? And if it's me, that you need some accountability from Feel free, come on by, I'm having to be like, cool. Let's do that. Because coaching makes a difference. The next thing I do that I find really helpful is I give myself rewards. Like, you know, nothing's better than a little sticker chart friends. Like it works on kids, but it works on grownups too. My rewards tend to be time. So like, if I spend 30 minutes on Etsy, twice this week, I get to end my day a little early on Friday and spend some time just reading like a book I just am obsessed with at the moment, I'm just going to read fiction, right? Like I give myself treats after I do the thing. 

After I spend some time on Etsy, today, I'm going to walk the dog, but I have to do the same thing first. So like, what are the ways you can reward yourself and sort of keep yourself going and it sounds goofy. But you know, I do reward myself. And here's the thing, even if I don't do the SE thing, today, I'm going to walk the dog anyways, because she and I both need it, I get the reward either way. But when I tell myself that I'm going to do the artsy thing before I get the reward. It helps me to sort of order my priorities a little bit. Here's the last thing I would say.

Be nice to yourself. I know I already said that. But actually, it matters double. So it's on the list twice. When we are doing something new, it is really hard. I know I keep saying that. But it's okay to acknowledge it. It's like, okay, I didn't get it this week. I'm gonna though, next week, let me set myself up for success a little differently, I tend to do the things that are new earlier in the week, before my week catches up to me. So like I tend to schedule in time for Etsy on Monday. Because if I don't, my week, sort of like tumbles into it, and I lose places for it right when I get busy. 

But on Monday, I feel like I have a clear head and a clear path and a clear structure. And so I get to be like, Oh, I remember this today, I'm gonna take my 30 minutes training, excuse me. And then it's already done. And I it's also sort of sets me up to be like, I can make this progress. I've done this, this feels good. Right? So for you, where are the times in your week where you can fit it before everything else sort of takes over? That might help? And then how can you let that help you to stay motivated? Right. 

The last thing I will say is really with new things, coaching makes a huge difference. So if you want to come in to coaching, if you're interested in even project based coaching, like I have clients sometimes that are like, Listen, I'm gonna coach with you until this thing gets done. Right? We do that I do that with people, sometimes courses, that kind of stuff. So, if you're looking for accountability and support, I am here that's what I do. And I'll help you make it more efficient and effective as you go. And you'll be nicer to yourself about it because I'm gonna make you because this is how we do. 

So, friends, you can do this new thing. You are not unmotivated, you have all the skills and the things and the tools you need right now. For you it is about intentionally carving out little bits of time, keep the bite size small. Keep the kindness high. Give yourself some accountability and some treats. And if you need help up that's what coaching is for calm for coaching I'll see you all the places I'll see you again in two weeks have a great week