How to Talk About What You Do MORE Without Hating It

Welcome to the podcast, this episode today is for you if you have ever been in a position where I have been here too, so I totally get it, where you know logically that talking more about what you do and telling more people and saying more often and telling people what you offer. Makes sense, right? You're like, Yes, I totally get it. And also I can't, I can't possibly say more, or you want you in it is the thing, you procrastinate. 

The absolute hardest, it is the thing that you don't do, and you don't do and you don't do and then you feel bad about it. Because you're like, right, but I know I need to do this. And I know it matters. And also, I'm going to do everything else like this is when I know myself, I start like making lists of things and working on new freebies and making pretty things in Canva. When I'm avoiding, right. So if you know that talking about what you do more is really important. And also, it's hard. This is for you. Because this is you know, a current thing I'm talking a lot about I just in running a workshop and a challenge about how to make more offers, which is like talking about what you do more specifically write offers and invitations, I kind of used interchangeably.

 But it's really be like, hey, come work with me part of this, that makes a real difference in growing a business. And the more you say it, the more it works. And that's easy advice to give and hard advice to take. Right. So why is this so hard? Is the first question. You know, like what actually is the trick here, because if it was just a process problem, and you like you're like, well, but if I reorganized my social media and I time block better, and I do all these things, if it was just that, we want to solve it, right? If it was just about your work process, it would be simple to fix. But that's the trickier. And in the workshop I gave last week, which actually I'm going to convert to a sort of an ongoing thing. 

So if it's something you didn't do keep an eye out in the next couple of weeks, it's going to convert into something like you can get for $23 Whenever Whenever you're ready. If this is, you know, we're talking about there is you know, if it was simply just you need a better spreadsheet, great, I just hand you the spreadsheet. That's not it. Oh, I love to tell you, I can just hand you a spreadsheet. And you would make more offers and more invitations, you can get out there more, right? This is what happens when it's like I'm going to be more visible. And then people like I had in the bathroom for a week. So this is all wrapped together would love to tell you this process. But what's really hard about this part, what's really hard this is maybe the hardest part about growing a business too, is that our own brains get in our way here. 

Because what happens when we start to be more visible is we do all have I wrote down a whole list of things we have, and we all have versions of them but I had on my list is doubt worry, wanting to be liked wanting approval, perfectionism comparison. All of these things are what come up, when we start to think about talking about ourselves more and about what we do and about what we have to give. And that's all internal stuff. Like I have one client who always says like, well, but am I being too braggy right? If I say I'm good at this, and I can help you is that too much? I have another that says all the time, like well, but is that oversharing right? Everybody's got a version of this for me. I often worry about being too pushy. When as, as I friends constantly remind me, like the odds of me being too pushy are pretty much none because that's not my default setting. 

So even when I'm feeling too pushy, I'm not actually too pushy. And that's the trick to this. So all of this stuff that gets in the way, between visibility between talking about ourselves between talking about what we offer spreadsheets great. Like I'm down with a spreadsheet, I have a spreadsheet you can have like whatever. But the key to this is how we think about it would love to tell you it's not a mindset thing because the math process person in me is like yay, process yay math. Yay linear ordered things. But really this is a mindset things visibility thing. This is how we think about it. So what I want to share with you today are some thinking shifts that can help you to talk about what you do more without hating it. Without hating yourself without hating without being you know it's going to be uncomfortable without being so uncomfortable that you don't do it. 

Because like I was talking to a client yesterday, and we were talking about how in school for students, there is a difference between productive struggle that's uncomfortable and impossibility, right, you can make something so hard for a kid, they literally just can't do it, they can't get their head around it, then. So if you're really stuck here, you know, what we want to do is make the level of struggle come down, you're going to be uncomfortable being visible, especially when you're not used to it is uncomfortable, right? There's unpredictability, there's people could tell you, they hate you, like all these things. But guess what, like, we can bring that down, we can normalize it, we can change how we think about it.

 And it can really make a difference. This is the entire reason I can do what I do. Like being able to shift my thinking this way. I see this regularly makes such a difference for clients who were teachers who were not teachers who are starting new businesses who have been in multiple businesses, because this is the same for all of us, this visibility thing is scary, because we you know, want other people to like us, whatever. There's nothing wrong with that. But we do have to think differently. So talking about yourself, and what you do more is the trick. And you're like, I know, I need that. Here's some things to consider. I have seven things to think on the list. So the first one is what I have to share as useful. Period.

 Often times, what's in the way is questioning our expertise. Listen, you didn't show up to run a business because you didn't have any experience. Like that's not how this works. People who don't know what they're doing are not like, you know what, let me start a business about that, because I have no idea how to do it. But I guess we'll figure it out. No, we look around at what we're really good at and think, Gosh, I wish I could do this more with people. And then it turns into a business. Right? Coaching followed me, like literally followed me from job to job until I was like, oh, okay, I guess that's a business that I can have. Right? I ignored my expertise for ages, because I was like, well, but it's just me. It's just my thoughts. It's just the way I think. And I didn't give that any value. Because I figured everybody else did it the same way. They don't. And that's the magic here. So maybe what you have to give is a tactile thing, maybe it's writing, maybe it's a product, maybe it's a specific tool, or maybe it's thoughts and experience and process and, you know, coaching kinds of things. Either way, what you have to share is useful. 

What you have to share valuable. And really sitting down in that makes a huge difference. Number two, sharing what I do is how I help. This one is crazy to me. Because the idea that me just saying to people, Hey, this is the kind of stuff I do. This is, you know, work I'm doing with people right now is helpful to people. I forget that I think we all forget that when somebody tells you a story about something that you've been through, we are helped because as we remember, we're not alone and be like, Oh, she got to work through that. 

Whether somebody comes to me for coaching or not simply the idea that I could open up a doorway for them to think like, Hmm, I might be able to figure this out. Or oh, maybe I can do it too. Or, Gosh, I wonder how that would I would do that differently. Like even just opening the door to possibility is helpful. Sharing what you do is helpful. And when you share from a place of like, Hey, here's what I have going on. Here's what I've been helping people work. Here's what I love to do. What you're also not doing is convincing people, we're afraid that we're gonna have to like talk people into things. And that's not what this is about.

 We are here to serve. Like I run a people first business, my clients run people first businesses where like, the impact matters more than the money, right? Where like, I would make a difference 10 times in a row for free. Did Oh, to this day. But I know sometimes I know I have a business owner and I need to make money and also sometimes paying money makes more of an impact. So all of that aside, like I am here to do the helping that matters first. So sharing what I do is part of how I help them Gosh, I'm going to share, right I'm not gonna hide if what I have to share is useful.
And that doesn't convince anybody of anything. It just says to them like hey, this is here for you too. And that's a gift in Love Itself. Number three, people are curious about what I want what I do. And they want to know more. Like just this base level, like nobody's hating me from afar, right? People want to know, this is the one of the biggest shifts I see in my clients, when they go from like, oh my gosh, nobody wants to hear from me two people want to know, it's like a light bulb goes off. It is and you live on this continuum, right?

 Some days, I think people don't want to hear from me. Some people, I'm like, some days and like everybody needs to know that we can't wait to hear. It's a continuum, and nothing is an on off switch. But here's the thing. Like if your default thought, is what I've shared, useful, sharing, what I do is how I help and people want to know more. Like that's, that's a really powerful trio of things. That lets you be like, Oh, well, then I can just talk about, right? There's a corollary to this one, that I think is really important, and that is people who love me, already want to help me. What we do so often is we hide from the people who know us best. We avoid talking about what we do with strangers, it's great. But talking to people we love about what we do is really scary.

 Because like those are people whose opinions really matter to us. But what's the magical thing is nine times out of 10, those people will be like, Oh my god, this is great for you. I'm so glad you're doing this. And how can I help? Like the people that love you want to help you, they will send you referrals, they will be your clients, they will be your customers? If you tell them, we are like that for other people, like you have friends who have started a business in here, like yes, I'm first in line. And somehow we can't we don't see it come back to us.

 We are we don't realize it goes the other direction, too. And so we forget, or we're scared to say it to those people. Because, you know, they might judge us and yeah, they might. I've had friends be like, Oh, are you that's really wide. And you know what, I still love them. And weirdly over the years, those are also people who have still sent me referrals, they don't get it. But when they see somebody who needs me, they love me enough to know it. And that makes a huge difference. 

So tell them number four, it's my job to share. And that's where my job ends. My job as a business owner is to say what I have is to do what I do it is to show up in is to be useful it is to do all those things. And my job is not to stress over it after that. Like I my job is not to as a friend says My job is not to think anyone else's thoughts for them. Like I don't like it when people decide what my thoughts are for me when they're like, Oh, you're gonna eat this and like, well, but how do you know? How do you cope? I haven't tried it yet. So my job is to stop thinking other people's thoughts for them. 

My job is not to worry about how people are going to judge it. That's hard. I get it. But when we're intentional about it's my job to share, and that's it. That's where it ends. It really helps this visibility thing this talking about what you do more because it's like, oh, my job is to say like, here's what I have for you. Here's this way I can help you in live in your body better. Here's this way I can help you. You know, be simplify your business. Here's this way I can help you learn to sell more easily. Here's this way I can help you get along better with your dog. All the things. But then after that your your job is done. Stop thinking other people's thoughts for them. It's not easy, but it's worth it because then you're not like, constantly in the light when they think What did they think? What did they think? What did they think? Or they think that feels terrible, right? stresses me out even just to talk about it like that. 

Okay, number five. This one I love because it is a simple thought. But like when it makes a difference, sharing what I do, and know best is easy. It feels like a really flippant thing to say. But if you're like if you decide to intentionally get up, I do my journaling first thing of the day. I haven't done it yet today because I decided to record this podcast first because I really needed to get this done. I wanted to get it out. But if you start with, you know, sharing what I do is easy. Talking about what I do best is easy. Instead of God this is really hard. I don't know what to say. It makes a difference. When we tell ourselves things are easy.

 They are I mean, you do this with your kids, with your students with your family and you're like No, no, you got this. It's easy. You got it. You can do it. Like it's not as hard as we're making it. Sometimes we make things way harder because we just decide they're hard But actually, if we decide they're easy, they're actually kind of easy. It's a mess, isn't it? So, if you can sort of start to even just practice the idea that sharing what I know and do best and easy, or even you can append, it's possible at the front of it. So it's possible that sharing what I know and do best is easy. It's like, oh, it could be. Maybe it is. Right? Oh, makes a difference, right. The next one, six is I think a reminder is one I write often even still in it is one we all logically get. But we struggle it. Just because it's easy to me, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. This is the place we undervalue ourselves right here, this is where we downgrade our expertise. Because we forget as human beings, that what is simple and clear and easy for us. It's not like that you ever everyone else, had a client, I had dinner with a client this week. And she said something to me, she was like, well, but why wouldn't everyone do this? And I looked at her and I was like, everyone is not you. 

You have competence in the space that 99% of other people don't carry with them. You don't worry about this thing, because you know how to do it that everybody else does. And she was like, Oh, sure. Yeah, pretty positive. Because I know people I know a lot of people and I know me, and I know my family. And I know my friends. And none of them has the competence that she does in what she does. None of us think about it the way she thinks about it. No one. And so she often is just like, Okay, here's the thing, you're good. But she forgets that it's not that simple for everyone else. And that is her magic. Her magic is that what's easy for her is not easy for everyone else. Right? That is your magic to what is easy for you, is not easy for everyone else. And sort of the sneaky corollary to this is just because it's easy for you, doesn't mean it's not valuable. 

That's the thing that's most valuable, because that's the thing, that's not easy for everyone else, you know, it's this is the whole zone of genius conversation. And I'm not a fan of that phrase, necessarily. But it is this idea that if it is simple and easy for you, that's what's valuable. Right me sitting down with somebody and sort of straightening out their project processes and untangling the stuff and picking out you know what's wonky in the way they're thinking about it and just making a subtle shift that changes things. I did that with a client yesterday about us talk she's gonna give, she was like, Oh, I feel so terrible. This is not my topic. But I talked about us like, actually, the topic you're talking about all the time. You don't call it that? And she was like, I don't know. And then she said to me, she said, you know, that part of the reason I brought this to you today was because I knew that you would say something and I would cheat, I would think totally differently about it.

 That's the magic. If I can say, hey, what about this way? And it's like, oh, gosh, that's better. And that's, that's what's valuable. But that's easy for me. doesn't make it wrong. In the last one this last thought is, is I think a tricky one. It's sort of I think the like we're all of these are maybe the like one or 200 level courses and the college, let alone this is maybe the three or 400 level thought. But it is really valuable to try on that you people get it. Like to look at what you're doing and assume and presume people get it. Do you think they understand what I'm saying? I think this all the time. I write a post and I think like Will they get it? And then I'm like no, I'm people get what I'm doing. People get what I have to offer. I introduced something in a roomful of people the other day and the people I know in that room, or my people all nodded their heads like nope, I got it. And there were people that just stared at me. But you know what, those are not my people. And I knew it. And I watched the responses. And I was like, yep, yep, yep.

 My people understood that. That was it. And it was like the people who get you get what you're doing there when you already. You don't have to over explain it to them. You do have to explain you have to be clear. But like you can kind of presume that you are because the corollary to this one is if they don't get they'll ask. Right. I have people all the time be like wait, can you explain that word to me again? Because I just want to make sure I understood.

I'm never offended by that. And I assume that the people I work with that are my people are going to ask questions, because I am a question asker and so are they. So I assume they get it. And I trust that if they don't they're As you get to do the same, you can assume that people will get what you're doing as long as you are, keep showing up and you're consistent, and you're talking about lots of different ways. They're gonna get it. The people that are meant to get it will. And when they're like, Wait, how does this work? They're gonna raise their hand and be like, Wait, how does this work? That's how it works. So this is all about how we think about being visible. Because businesses grow when we talk about them more. 

Businesses can't grow when their secret secret businesses are not successful. Part of this is talking about what you're doing. We're not bragging, we're not oversharing we're not doing anything wrong. We're doing it. All right, keep showing up. If you are not in my Facebook group, come on in and play with us. It's the same name as this podcast. If you enjoy this podcast, I would love Love, love, love, love. If you could share it with other people you love that you think by also, or subscribe on Apple, and iTunes and podcasts, and I guess, or in whatever platform you use, and in any kind of ratings or reviews, you want to give our amazing because that's how other people find it. That's how the platform knows people like it. And if I can get helped you send it out. If you're like, Whoa, but these seem like fine thoughts, but I don't know how to actually do this. Let's talk about it. offer lots of different versions of coaching. Like well find one that fits you because honestly as I said, it's it's a people first thing, and what I care about in the end is that you get what you need, so we'll make it work. Alright, happy week. I'll see you on the podcast next week.