Success by THINKING

Hey, everybody, welcome to this episode of teachers in business. This week, we are going to talk about success through thinking. So, this sounds insane. I think on some level, like my logical brain wants to tell you that this is a crazy idea. But my logical brain that has data knows this is the truth. Success is not created by what you do. I'm gonna say it again, because it sounds insane. Success is not created by what you do. Think about it this way. I have a successful business coaching practice. I have three colleagues that also have successful business coaching practices, none of them run their business the same way I do. And yet all four of us are successful. It's not what we do that matters doesn't matter. If I have an email list, it doesn't matter if I have a Facebook group, it doesn't matter if I have an Instagram account. It doesn't matter. Success is not created by what you do. It's created by how you think. So here's where this happens. What happens here is you can change your actions 1000 times and this is what we all do. You try to muscle your way to success. And we all get in this stage where you think like, Okay, this is not working, I have to figure out what's wrong and do something different. And so you look around and you go sign up for a course, and you learn all the stuff and you may or may not implement it all. And you're like, Ah, this didn't work either. So you go pick something else, or you go sign up for a program or you work with a new coach or something's happening. And like, it works for other people, you think like, well, but how can this work for them, and it's not working for me, you've done this, you've done it in school, you've done it in business, we've all done this, we've done this at jobs, and you don't get where you're going and you're thinking like what the heck, what's wrong with me? And then this like shame spiral of doubt happens. 

It's great, right? We're like, Why? What do they have that I don't? What's wrong with me? How

come I can't make this work. And you just continue to sort of dig yourself a hole. And the thing is, is the actions don't matter? Actually, what really matters is changing your thinking, changing your thoughts about your business, the people you serve, the value you give in yourself, you The human being is the actual difference maker. So for me and my three colleagues, what makes us successful is not what we do. I mean, it is right, because we show up, we participate. We have Facebook groups, we have Instagram, we have whatever we have, we have what we've chosen to have. But it's that we think about it differently. We think thoughts that are effective for growing a business most of the time, and I'm not saying all the time, because certainly I have thoughts that are not effective, just like everybody else. So this week, we're going to talk about the four stages of thoughts. And how working through your thinking differently, will create more success than you can even allow yourself to dream about that you're like, Ah, that's funny. Like I set a goal in January 2020. And literally laughed out loud about it. I wrote it down on paper, and I was like, That's hilarious. I've lost my mind. And by the end of the year, I've hit it at the end of 2020 in Hong Kong, and you know what kind of year 2020 was. So the key for me in 2020 was not what I did, it was what I thought that has changed all the things. So we are going to talk about this today like shopping. I like a good analogy, you know this and we are going to think about changing your thoughts like shopping at the gap. Okay, ready. So there are four stages of working through your thoughts this way. The first stage I think of as browsing so like imagine you're at the you're at the mall or in my town, there's like a standalone gap in the middle of downtown. Imagine you walk in the door to the store. And the first thing you do when you go to a store like that is you take like a wander around, because you don't have anything particular in your mind.

You just kind of want to see what they have. You are going to do the same thing in your own brain. The first step to doing this just like opening the door is the first step to going in the gap The first step to wandering around and seeing what's on the racks in your own brain. To get quiet, take two minutes, set the timer and just like settle, I think of it actually picture in my mind. Like a snow globe in the snow starting to settle at the bottom, or even like a salad dressing actually, often it's salad dressing that you've shaken and it starts to settle out, takes few minutes and sort of let it settle. And then ask yourself, What am I thinking? Like what's going on in my brain? It's really helpful if you then put all that on paper. And you just write it down. Here's the thing. You don't have to think anything about it. You it's just what you're seeing on the racks. That's all. It's like sweater, sweater, sweater, PANTS, PANTS, PANTS, shorts, Are they crazy? It's not dress season yet. All the things like just put it on paper browse, that's all. You're just looking at the racks. And then you know, as you have feelings come up about things. Just note them. That's all. Just like you'd be wandering through the gap. And you'd be like, Oh, that's cute. I like that. And you just keep wandering, where you'd think like, oh, who's gonna buy that? That's super ugly. Just keep going. You don't think like, Oh my god, I'm a terrible person.

I thought that was ugly. You just, it was just ugly to you. And you moved on. Okay, so now you like brows? Do you know what's floating around in your brain? The second stage is to imagine, okay, think about the gap you've done. You're wandering around, there were a couple of things. You were like, Oh, that was kind of cute. You go back to it. And maybe you think like, you pick it up off the rack. And you think like, how would this look on me? What would I use it for? Where would I wear it? Like, am I gonna get use out of it? Do I think it would be comfortable? You imagine you think like, Oh, I could wear this in the summer. When we go out to dinner with friends. It would be so fun. And you imagine where you'd go and you get a little lost standing there in the gap about like, going out to dinner in public? What? Because we don't do that right now. Okay, so it's like imagining the amazing time you're going to have while you're wearing that super cute shirt. The next stage and looking at your thoughts is the same. It is simply asking yourself what's possible. what's possible for you? what's possible today? what's possible this week, what's possible this month, what's possible. And just staying tuned to the like, Oh, this would be so cute. If I weren't here like to the positive vibe, a possibility? Not to the like, oh god look terrible illness? Not at all. We're not picking those things up off the rack. It's just like, oh, that thing was cute. Let me see how it would look on me. Let me try this on. Hmm. And while you're there, like if you have feelings, it's okay to check. Right? If you think like, I don't know how I feel about that wearing it in public, huh? Just note them? Or if you're like, Yes, I would love to wear this. This would be so fun. I can't wait. Great. But you're imagining what's possible? Is it possible that someone you don't know is paying attention to what you're doing? Is it possible you'll hook up with a friend today and they'll ask you a question about your work? Is it possible that a friend of a friend will refer someone who needs you to you? Is it possible that someone will buy something you offer out of the blue? Of course it is. All those things are possible, let your imagination sort of percolate with what's possible. And then we had to stage three. Stage Three is when you pick the thing up off the rack and you walk into the changing room, and you try it on. Okay, so imagine you're like super cute shirt, like, I'm gonna bring this into the changing room, get it in your size, or what you think your sizes, because who knows, at this point, I don't know what my size is. Take a couple of different sizes into the changing room, a couple of different shirts near like, Hi, I can't wait to wear these out to dinner. And you go in the room and you put them on.

Okay, changing your thinking requires you to try some stuff on. So for me, a lot of the times it right it's writing down some options.

So one of the things I was working on recently is what do I want to think about people when they hire me what do I want to think? So that they're drawn to hire me? And I had a colleague point out thoughts she had about it. I'm just gonna reach for my paper. And one of the thoughts she had when she thought about this like this was no one knows how to coach them like No one's ever been as helpful to them as I have been. And for me Actually, I tried that on and I was like, no one's ever been as helpful as me. And it was like, I really doesn't like it doesn't do it for me. Like it doesn't I don't not comfortable in that shirt, basically, like I tried it on. And I was like, I don't really like the way this fits, it doesn't feel like me. Trying on new ways to think is exactly like trying on shirts where you try it on. And you're like, Well, that was really cute in theory. And on it's like, not so much. Or like, Huh, this is caught in a weird way it looks funny. or trying to nod you're like, yes, this, this feels so good. So you try it on, like you're trying on sweaters, man. And if you think to yourself, like,

Ooh, this, this feels great, then it works for you. And if you're like, the arms are a little too short, the shirts a little too long, then it's not the right thoughts for you. Like you just try on what you want to think about yourself, about your clients about the people coming to you. You try some stuff on one of the things I like to put at the front of things is it's possible. Like it's possible that new people want to join my group today. That I don't know, it's possible, I'll have a client refer me to a friend of theirs, and it will be amazing. It's possible that is a really, really strong way for me. And I'm sure it can be helpful to you. So we tap into how we feel when we put that thought on. Like one of the ones one of the alternates that to my my colleague who was like, nobody knows how to coach them, like me, nobody's ever been as helpful. For me, the version of that, that really feels better is all of my clients get exactly what they need for me. And then some, like, that's very me like you get exactly what you need. from working for me with me, you get exactly what you should get, what you want, and what you really need for your business. Because sometimes what we want and what we need are not the same, right? And then some, like my clients get their results. And then some I don't need for me thinking like I'm the most helpful person they've ever met just doesn't, I don't know, it doesn't sit. But thinking like they're going to get exactly what they need for me. And then some is, is like the best sweater. It's like the shirt you put on in the store. And you're like, I look amazing in this. Okay. And then the last stage is to like check out, like to take the shirt, you're like yes, this shirt and choose it. And think like, Okay, this is something I'm going to wear. This is something I'm going to think about me, we get to choose what we think about ourselves.

That is like, that is radical in so many ways, the idea that you could choose how you think about yourself, like that. It's just not baked in already and we can pick something new. I get to choose that I know I think my thought that all my clients get exactly what they came for. And then some. That's a choice. I can also think that I don't help anybody. Like that's also a choice. It's just not a choice that like feels like a power sweater to me. It's like a frumpy pair of sweat pants that have holes in them, which is not what I'm trying to wear today. I get to choose intentionally. What I want to think in with that because feelings are a part of this whole thing. I get to choose intentionally. What I feel. You take that sweater that you're like, Yes, I feel so good in this. You think to yourself, like how do I actually feel in this sweater? I feel confident. I feel unapologetic, I feel secure. I feel certain that I look amazing. And then you carry yourself that way out to that dinner and people are like Wow, look at her. She's amazing. Those are in those are feelings we choose. We get to choose the things to think that help us feel like that. Like that woman that walked into the party and people were like, turned their heads. Okay, this is the process of thinking differently. And then once you've chosen, you have to wear it. You have to walk around in that outfit and and be the badass that comes with it, right? You wire it. I think of thoughts like things I wear, I wear around, that I help all my clients, they get exactly what they need. You have to wear whatever that thing is you want to think about yourself. Alright. So I know that this seems maybe magical in some ways, because if it's new to you, it's like, wow. So this month in my facebook group, which is called Teachers in Business, I'm running a challenge. And it is all about this, I'm calling it the thought challenge. And it is 31 days of March. Today is March 3, the day this is being released. So we're only a couple of days in, you have plenty of time to come join. And it is all about really learning how to do this process of browsing, imagining trying on and choosing to think your way differently, in your business to think your way to success, rather than constantly being like, Am I doing it right? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it right? You can choose new ways to think that will stop all of this, like forcing things up the hill, all of the like working yourself to death. None of that is required. It is all in your brain. And we can change it. So if you want to participate in the challenge, I would love to have you come on into the group. And join us it's going to post every day in the morning. And then you can work through what the what the task is that day. And really practice this process might be the most important thing you ever do. And if you're tired, like tired of like beating your head on the wall as you do business, this is the way to change it. Success is not created by what you do. It is created by how you think. So if you want to come join the challenge, great. If you are interested in coaching, and you know that I am the coach that will help you get those results and then some or you want to even just explore if that's possible for you. Please reach out please send a message on Facebook or LinkedIn, please send me an email at sara@torpeycoaching.com or book yourself a time on my website to chat Torpeycoaching.com please. 

Here's the thing, this is part of what I teach all my clients, I teach you how to think differently about your business, so that you can be successful. And we teach all of the things that come after that, which is once you change your thinking, what the things you do naturally shift, right? The things you do turn into the just the things you love. And in my coaching practice, I focus a lot with people on making sure it's fun, and making sure they love it and about doing less to accomplish more, which is really dictated by how you think. So if coaching together sounds like the right thing for you, please let's talk about it. And then come in