Watch out, it's a bonus episode! Success BEGINS as an inside job and on this episode, the fourth in this series on success, we're going to talk about PROOF. Proof is a tricky thing - to have people buy from us, we need proof of success; but to have proof of success we need to have people buy from us. Uh-oh. How do we find our way out of this chicken-egg cycle of proof? With one key question. Listen on to hear the question you need to find the proof you ALREADY HAVE.
Join the free Teachers In Business FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/teachersinbusiness
Book a free 1:1 consultation: https://calendly.com/torpeycoaching/letstalkcoaching
Book a 90 minute one-bite coaching session: https://calendly.com/torpeycoaching/90-minute-coaching-session
Get the book! https://www.amazon.com/Just-Keep-Going-Question-Business/dp/1387766368
Welcome to Teachers in Business. This is episode 65. This is a bonus episode sort of in the series of success from the inside out. When I put this theory series together, I thought it was three, it turns out it's four. So this one is sort of like a lucky bonus. This one is about proof of success. So this is a tricky thing. This is something as a business owner, that I know is deeply tricky for people it is something that I know is deeply trippy, deeply tricky for people. As a coach, it's something I talk with people about all the time. It is you know, if you go back to the start of the series, when we talk about expertise, this is sort of the other half of the duo that creates imposter syndrome. It's the not knowing your expertise and your value, combined with not knowing the proof of success. Those two things together make that like deadly dangerous Converse come combination. That is imposter syndrome, I think. And so today, what we're going to talk about is really, you know what to do with this chicken egg problem, because we feel like we have to have people buy from us to have proof of success. But in order to have people buy from us, or are surely in order to prove the success people have to buy from us you so tricky. I confused myself. And it's like, wait, but how do we find our way out of this cycle? Because it's really, you know, fair feels very chicken and egg. So here's the thing. Proof of success is, is this thing we feel like we ought to have, right? But we really, we really want, we feel confused about it. Because we're taught to think that we need proof, we need to be able to prove to other people that we can it's like when you go get your first job. And it's like, well, I need to put experience in this role in my resume because they want someone with experience, but I can't get experience until I get a role like this. So how do I make the resume people happy? You know, it's like, we also think when I have proof of X thing when I have proof that when I'm teaching people works when I have proof that what I'm doing helps people when I have proof that I used to think that when I had proof that my clients could create X money more that of course, then I could say I was a successful business coach. And we we really have this very high standard of proof that we hold ourselves to. We have like this, our brains want this very, very specific piece of evidence. So for me, it was like, well, when I've had 10 clients create X amount more money than they had before. It was like this very specific kind of proof, it's like going, it's like going into a hen house full of chickens, full of eggs, every shape and size, color and size and wanting the one that is purple with pink polka dots and blue stripes. Your brain is very specific about what success means but being able to prove your success means this is what your brain thinks of as official proof like you will get the stamp of approval you will be official when this thing happens you'll have made it there's two problems with this. One is our brains move the goalposts on us all the time. So like I thought okay, when I've had 10 clients and I've proved that all my clients can do X thing I'll have been you know this will work but then what I didn't realize is like what my brain noticed eventually was not all my clients my clients are very much you know, like half of them are former teachers in the former teachers are often not about you know, income generation they're like I want this amount of money but I want to do this amount of good I want these things this quality of life this stuff and so like I can have as many clients as I want but that that number of that amount of money created amount of growth wasn't going to be a measurement so my brain change the measurement and it was like you're gonna have to have 40 people and you're gonna have to prove X thing and they're all gonna have to grown in a huge amount and X ray and you're gonna be able to measure it by this so my brain change the standard of official proof to yet another like inaccessible impossible unicorn rainbow egg. It was like oh, and I didn't even notice it. So what happens is one thing we do is our brains move the goalposts, the standard of proof changes. But the other thing that happens that really sort of shoots us in the foot is we don't know what kind of proof we're trying to create. So like, I didn't realize until somebody said to me, like, what would it mean for you to be successful? Like, what? How do you know you'll have made it until somebody asked me that, and I was like, well, but when x things happens, when this exact thing happens, I'll have made it and it's like, oh, and I can remember that coming out of my mouth and being like, oh, that's ridiculous. Oh, hold on. So here's what I would like to offer in this, like bonus success from the inside out. Because really, our success comes from the inside out, and so does our proof. So the thought here to shift into, instead of, I need proof, to feel successful, is that you can choose to believe, without official, quote, unquote, proof, that official purple egg, you don't actually need it, you have proof? Right? Now, you are the proof. Right? Now, here's the thing, when our brain wants this specific, official kind of proof, what it does, then is discount all the other kinds of proof we have of success. And, you know, 99.9% of the time we have a pile of it. It's like going through an enormous pile of socks, I don't know, maybe you live in a house like I do with extra people and an inordinate number of socks, it's like going through a giant pile of socks to find the one white sock in my house that doesn't exist, maybe everybody's socks in your house are white, I don't know. But in my house, we have a full range of colorful socks and no white ones. And if I could pull through that pile for a million years, but I still have an enormous pile of socks, it's like me going like well, but I don't have any socks unless I have one white one. Like me, and I have tons of socks, there's socks everywhere here. But if I'm not looking for them, and I'm not willing to believe that those also count as socks, then I don't have it. Right. So you can choose to believe that you have success without actually without your specific kind of proof right now, that one piece of proof that your brain wants is not the one that matters. You have proof right now today that you can in do help the people you serve. You have proof right now today that you are an expert. You have proof right now today that you know how to get unstuck. You have proof right now today that you can and do failure ways to success, you have the proof, you just don't have the official proof that your brain wants your brain wants a $15,000 month your brain wants 10 of them. And you're like, well, that's probably not on the table just yet. So like I guess I have to start somewhere. But if your brain is like, well, but that's the only way you'll be successful. If that happens. That's it, you got to start looking around for other proof. The only thing you need to find this proof is a question one. This is a question you can use a bunch of different ways. It is a question that I use in my journal constantly. Because I need this to I have clients that do this all the time, because they need this to the question Is this right? What evidence of success do I have right now? Period? Question mark, period. What evidence of success do I have right now? And you can get really specific if you want. You know what evidence of my expertise do I have right now? What evidence of my value for other people do I have right now? What evidence of my capabilities? What evidence of my resourcefulness? What evidence of my resilience? And here's the thing, your brain is going to be like, well, but you are in a business and you are coaching people or you're helping students or you're selling things and you haven't sold anything yet. So you don't have any evidence. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Before I was coaching businesses, I worked with salespeople. I worked with teachers, I worked with friends, I worked I have colleagues. So when I before I was coaching clients officially when I looked around and looked for evidence of my success in my expertise, I got to look at things that weren't you know that were in the category but not in the category right? When I have clients with newer businesses. I have a client who I used to work with who coaches people in decision making. See she say, well, but nobody's paid me to do this yet. I'd say, okay, great. But how have you already helped people how to do this, and she'd go, oh, well, so and so came to me and I helped them decide, you know, to leave their job and find something new so and so came to me, when we were still working in the school together, and I helped them decide how to do X, Y, or Z. So and So came to me for X thing is like, sent a friend to me. And that friend came to me and I helped them make this decision about x. She had a ton of evidence, but it just wasn't official evidence. So she was discounting it, it was the whole pile of socks in the corner that just don't happen to be white socks. And you have the same, you already have proof of your expertise, of your capability of your resourcefulness of your resilience of all the things you have proof that you are successful at what you want to do. No one starts a business and is like, I don't know anything about this, but I'm going to create a business out of it. Like it would be like me going like, you know what, I'm going to start a painting business, I'm going to paint greeting cards and use them and like sell them to people. I don't have any evidence, honestly, that I could be successful in that, because I don't know anything about greeting cards, or painting, or art or any of that, like that's way outside of my box. But I'm not starting a business in something that's completely brand new to me, I don't know anything about and neither are you. So stop telling yourself that, please, for the love of God, you have evidence of your success right now. You are capable and resourceful, you are all the things, all you have to do is start looking for it. Your brain is going to tell you that there is not enough proof. I love you, I love your brain. I love all you're capable of but your brain is wired. Our brains are built to keep us safe. I was talking to the client about this yesterday, our brains are built to keep us safe. And when they mean keep us safe. They mean don't change. When you start to change, your brain starts to freak out. In in because it's trying to protect you. But there's no bear coming to eat you. If you were 1000 years ago, if we were hunting and gathering, you know, change is scary. Because you might be eaten by an animal you might be I don't know, all kinds of things eat a poisonous plant. I don't know. But that's not where we are right now. Change in this way, is not life threatening. But your brain doesn't know the difference all the time. So your brain goes into protecting you. And initially it's going to be like you're bad at this. You're like oh brain, okay. And then it's gonna try other things. My client yesterday, we were joking. We were laughing because her brain was such a sneaky ninja about this. You know, what happens is as you get better at identifying the big stuff that your brain does, it's gonna get more subtle. Because it's smart. You know, it's going to be, you know, like, I, I don't you know what, we don't know how to do this. We don't know exactly how to do this, right? So it's not going to work. You don't know how. And it's like, well, hold on, actually, I do. And then you're like, Okay, I know, I know how to do this, or I'm gonna figure it out. And where she was having sneaky brain yesterday is she her brain was like, well, but if you start posting that way on the internet, and you start doing more, that's really against the rules. That's not what the rules of social media say. Man, that's her brain trying to fight change. Like, yeah, it's not what the rules say. But it's what we're going to do. It's going to be sneaky. You're going to have to catch it. You're going to have to say to your brain, like, look, we got this. We're okay. I have to do it with mine all the time. My coaches constantly on me right now, to comfort my brain to be like, give it a hug, give it a cookie, put it in the corner and tell it to simmer down. Because you know what? Change is hard. Change is scary. But change is what makes a difference. You are listening to this because you're trying to change. You're trying to grow. You're trying to build something new. You're okay. You got this. We believe in you here in this community and teachers in business. We believe in you. I believe in you. And I know you have the proof even when you don't see it. If you're not in the Facebook community, you should come join, we will help you with the proof. If you are ready for coaching, you should come get it. You can sign up for a one byte session and just pay me to coach your face off for 90 minutes. Or you can sign up for a free consultation and we can talk one on one about how coaching really can help you to see your successes right now. To tap into what's already working. And to use that to grow. My people, my best clients, the people who serve who thrive with me as a coach, are the overcomplicators are the ones that are like, You know what? Yes, I could do this in three steps. But let me do it in 36 the ones that are like, right, but I have to do it right and doing it right takes 19 steps. And if I skipped one of these steps, something's gonna go wrong, and it's gonna break and I'm not gonna know what to do. Listen, you have proof that it's gonna work either way, all the housework, and I can help you find the ones that are right for you, based on what's working already, that you haven't noticed yet. Please come, let's talk about it. You can send a message to email@example.com you can send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn. You can do whatever contact information you want, you can go to my website, and you can email me from there. Whatever works, you can book a time on my website, please, let's come talk about it. You are ready to thrive. You just need someone to stand next to you as you do it. We all do. It's not wrong. It's the way we work. As humans we collaborate, we build together we need the accountability. I'm here to be your accountability. And if you do not have the book that goes with the series yet it is called Just Keep Going. It is available on Amazon and I will link it in the show notes. It's such a useful tool, because it's visual versions of all these concepts, along with worksheets and questions and more questions like the one today to help you grow yourself and your business effectively right now. It can be simple, you can do it. I believe in you. You have all the proof you need. Keep going. Alright, I'll see you next week.